Dishin' With Daphne

A place for the international performing sensation Daphne Ruth Jenkins to spew her earth-shattering revelations regarding life, love, family and fame.

Monday, February 27, 2006

She's My Sister!

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins, Niki Eaves, Linda Hand Jenkins and Concretta Block enjoying a little backroom fun.)

As if our Saturday night Jenkins jamboree at DAKS Tavern was not enough, Linda Hand and I followed that up with another performance the very next evening over at The Charlotte Eagle. Linda and I were at the point of complete exhaustion. However, we remembered the immortal words of Doris Fish and assured ourselves that earth girls never miss their cues. So, we set the spackle guns to "whore" and started the excruciating process all over again.

I'm not sure if it was the stress of doing shows two nights in a row or just the smell of poppers at the venue, but Linda had a hard time keeping down the nachos we ate for dinner. I guess I should have held her hair like a good sister, but who would have taken the delightful picture on the right? It was a retro-themed show, so Linda pulled herself together and wowed the crowd with her lewd "If You Can't Cut The Mustard" routine. She even handed out condiment packets as she sashayed around the dance floor. I'm sure they came in handy given all the wiener that crowd was probably eating later in the evening.

I was totally blown away when the host, Niki Eaves, turned the place into a disco inferno with her fierce rendition of Grace Jones's "I Need A Man". To think, I was actually rehearsing that one in the care on the way up to Charlotte. I'm glad I decided against it because honey, her costume and routine were filthy gorgeous.

Instead, I chose to do Dee-Lite's "Groove Is In The Heart". Linda had a psychedelic outfit and funky red hair that were just perfect for that song (as you can see from the super hot picture on the left). Unfortunately, I did not have time for a dress rehearsal before the show. Turns out, the wig is a little loose and proceeded fly off my head just moments into my number. Well ladies, the show must go on. So, like Linda the night before, I slapped that nest of unnatural fibers back onto my cranium and continued shaking my money maker.

At the end of the show, Niki Eaves, suggested that we all perform a wild and unrehearsed "We Are Family" for the crowd. It was a total blast sharing the stage with these powerhouse performers. I do hope to run into them again soon. Niki is scheduled to visit Hotlanta in May to hand over one of her many prestigious titles. Maybe we can get her on the Drag-O-Drama podcast while she's there.

Smooches,

Daph

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

We Are Family


(The Jenkins clan prepares to dazzle Charlotte with their demented talents. Clockwise from left: Momma Dale, Velma, Pinkie, Linda, Daph and Marsha.)

Charlotte, North Crazyland will never be the same. As you all know, our lushy sister, Linda Hand, booked us for a show at DAKS Tavern on Saturday evening. This festive little watering hole prides itself on being Charlotte’s most eccentric gay bar. In other words, we were a perfect fit.

Host Brandy Alexander opened the show with grace and style. Next up was one of their regular performers, Elvis. Yes girls, we’re talking hardcore Elvis impersonation here. I did mention “eccentric” right?

After that, the Jenkins clan took over completely. First up was Destiny’s Miscarriage, comprised of Pinkie “Beyonce” Devine, Velma “Kelly” Gwen and Daphne “Michelle” Ruth. We sweated and gyrated to an asthmatic version of “Make Me Lose My Breathe”.

After that, local gal Linda Hand took the stage with a show-stopping dance anthem, “In My Life”. I was at the bar getting a cocktail during her number (naturally) and was shocked to look over and notice that she had lost her wig. I’m certain she meant to do that. Regardless of her follicle malfunction, the crowd was visibly moved when Linda took a candle votives off one of the tables and held the flame over her head while wailing, “I’ve had enough of this in my life.” As some of you may know, the bar that she works at, Central Station, burned down a few months back and her house burned down just last week. I love her dearly, but I don’t think I’ll be letting her play with matches around my place anytime soon.

Momma Dale took the stage after that dramatic performance and scared the sh!t out of the crowd with “Hit That B!tch With A Bottle”. Interestingly, she chose to wear a pink beret without a wig. I guess this is only odd since she owns several crates full of wigs. Heck, everyone else was wearing her hair. Needless to say, Momma was absolutely fierce and would have made Lateasha from The Glamazons proud.

Marsha took over next with a rousing rendition of Kelly Clarkson’s “Gone”. With her black latex dress and cotton candy pink hair, she looked like a finalist for “Vegas In Space Idol”. This is actually a song I’ve been rehearsing myself. However, Marsha got to it first though, having premiered it at The River’s Edge recently. Maybe I can convince her to turn it into a duet with me.

Pinkie returned to the stage with a passionate mix of “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. I loved the fact that she combined the old Bonnie Tyler original with a dance remake. That was the first single I ever bought back when I was a wee lass.

Velma showed her originality by taking on Bjork’s “It’s Oh So Quiet” wearing a swan dress and dark queen hair. She was a deranged delight in her debut performance. Now that she’s been bitten by the performing bug, I expect lots of innovative and exciting work from her in the future.

In honor of the Daytona 5000, I treated the crowd to my racy version of Gwen Stefani’s “Crash”. I also used this opportunity to premiere a brand new electric blue wig. I enjoy doing that number so much; I think it’s destined to become one of my staples. It's a great excuse to get out in the crowd and "ride" a few of the hotties.

Linda was up once more to beg for tips…I mean entertain the crowd...with Fantasia’s “I Believe”. I believe she kept her wig on this time as she brought the house down with this inspirational tour de force.

We concluded the show with the chaotic group number, “We Are Family”. The entire clan wore that Jenkins trademark, roller disco hair. Toward the end of the song, we all started switching wigs. I even threw some hair on an audience member. Well, he was bald after all!

The show was a complete blast to put on and seemed to go over really well with the crowd. We were thronged by the masses backstage and over at Chasers where we went to relax after the show. In the photo to the left, you can see Pinkie chatting up one of our BIGGEST fans.

Next time, I’ll tell you all about the show Linda and I did Sunday night over at the Charlotte Eagle. The rest of the family had to head back to Hotlanta, so it was up to Linda and me to carry on the Jenkins tradition. Stop back to hear all the naughty details.

Smooches,

Daph

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Destination: Charlotte, North Crazyland

(Lushey Linda Hand Jenkins being chauffeured to her latest appearance.)

This weekend, the Jenkins clan is packing up the airstream and heading on a road trip. That's right ladies; we're descending upon Charlotte, North Crazyland and showing them sissies what "real" divas are made of. Our lovely sister, Linda Hand Jenkins has landed us a couple of gigs up in Hotlanta's sister city to strut our stuff and to spread glitter among the fabulous-impaired.

Pinkie, Peggy, Velma and I will arrive on Friday to get the city all riled up for our North Crazyland premiere. We don't have any commitments that night, so we're sure to be on a huuunnnnt for some out-0f-town frolics.

Marsha and Momma Dale will be arriving on Saturday, just in time for our exclusive engagement at DAKS Tavern. We're all planning to do numbers (both solo and group) at this fine drinking establishment. It's gonna be a Jenkins jamboree.

When - Saturday, February 18 at 11:30 pm
Where - DAKS Tavern
Who - Brandy Alexander and the Jenkins clan of
Drag-O-Rama

After that, Linda Hand has promised to bring us around to another classy local joint by the name of Chasers. Apparently, this quaint watering hole specializes in male exotic dancers. I get the feeling all of my sisters will be handing over all their hard-earned tips to the d!ck dancers before the end of the night.



Most of my siblings have to run off after Sunday brunch. However, I will be hanging around to do a show with Linda over at the Charlotte Eagle. You know how I love me some leather drag!

When - Sunday, February 19 at 9:00 pm
Where -
The Charlotte Eagle
Who - The Niki Eaves Retro 70s Show with special guests Linda Hand and Daphne Ruth Jenkins


Talk about an action-packed weekend! Velma and I have just filled the Pussy Wagon full of unnatural colored hair and gorgeous get-ups. I hope we packed enough. If not, maybe we can do a little shopping with Linda when we arrive. Take me to the nearest Good Will!

Smooches,
Daph


Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy VD

(Lovebirds Velma Gwen and Daphne Ruth getting their groove on.)

Hello all you lovers and fornicators out there. I just wanted to wish each and every one of you lots of VD excitement today. Stop reaching for the penicillin; I’m talking about Valentine’s Day, of course. Cupid’s holiday is a little bittersweet for me this year, as I’m in Louisville, Kentucky and separated from my true love, Velma Gwen Jenkins.

That’s right ladies, I’m a lesbian! Naturally, I'm the lipstick-wearing, drag queen variety of lesbian. Please, I don't even own any power tools!

Of course, we’re not the only lesbian drag queens around. Let's not forget about Gusty Winds and Rose Petal over at My Favorite Drag Queen. Maybe we can all get together and start a women’s music drag festival

Velma and I met over ten years ago when she responded to my personal ad in which I stated that I was looking for someone sane but slightly demented. The title of the ad was “Wild at Heart”. Well, a decade later I’m still wondering if she missed the part about being slightly demented. However, I can’t deny that I grow wilder about her each year that we’re together.

No one inspires me or pushes me to be the woman that I am today the way that Velma does. I hope you all find your own muse with whom you can share all your happiness and accomplishments. If not, at least settle for a fine piece of @ss with whom you can get your rocks off.

Smooches,
Daph

Friday, February 10, 2006

DWD #2: On Thin Ice

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins and Nancy Kerrigan moments before Daph's Olympic dreams are crushed by outrageous allegations that she attempted to mar Kerrigan's performance by covering the ice with spray cheese.)

Listen To The Show
TAPED: Tuesday, January 24, 2006
LENGTH: 40 minutes
HOSTS: Pinkie, Velma and Daphne
SYNOPSIS: The gals dish about Pinkie's favorite sport, figure skating.

Disclaimer: Due to technical difficulties, this episode was taped several weeks ago and never posted. However, much of the conversation revolves around figure skating and the Winter Olympics which are currently underway. Enjoy!

U.S. Nationals recap: Weir's wonderful; controversy over Kwan.

Why we love figure skating and hate Skating With Celebrities.

NFL: recap of the playoffs; drag queen picks for the Superbowl.

Closing: Pinkie apologizes in advance for drunken rude behavior during her upcoming birthday festivities.

Smooches,
Daph

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Red Chair Debut

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins "Crash"ing onto the scene at The Red Chair.)

Oh girls, I know you’ve been dying to hear all about my pulse pounding performance with The Glamazons over at The Red Chair last weekend. You’ll have to forgive me for the delay in posting that scintillating story. Naturally, it took me all Saturday to recover from the experience. Then, Sunday was taken up with recording our latest podcast over at Drag-O-Drama. You really must go listen. It’s simply fistacular! After that, Velma and I watched the Super Bowl. For once we were cheering on opposing teams and mine won. Go Steelers! I love Polamalu and his roller disco hair. Then, I needed to fly out to Louisville on Monday morning for a gig. Okay, it was really for my day job, but it sounds more exciting when I call it a gig. Well, the so-called wintry conditions caused my first flight to be cancelled and my second one to be delayed several hours: airport hell.

Okay, enough excuses and onto the blow-by-blow. First of all, I was totally gassed by everyone that showed up for my performance. My long-lost sister, Cindy, was there with her pussy posse. She hangs with a gaggle of real girls who we’ve dressed up in drag on previous occasions. They are so sweet and fun. That big stud Oscar was there to calm my nerves and to escort me both before and after the show. What a gentleman! Even Omar showed up with a bevy of boys in tow. I guess his half-sister AnnaBelle Larue Jenkins was not quite ready to make another appearance. And, of course there were a whole slew of the usual suspects there to cheer me on: Candy, Velma, Pinkie, Momma Dale, Bambi and Marsha. If I’ve forgotten anyone, please forgive me: you know how much I drink!

The performance itself was a total blast. I did Gwen Stefani’s “Crash” which is all about getting lit while you wait for your man to drive over and give you some “grand prix attention”. Honey, I gave both Marsha and Pinkie lap dances during my number. I honestly had a lot of fun and will definitely add this song to my regular repertoire.

Due to a family emergency, the catty Chynna Fox was not able to emcee the show. (I hear that things are looking up though.) Luckily, Alexandria was able to fill in for the night. When she went to introduce me for my second number, they started playing Lateasha’s song. Gurl, I was dressed in psychedelic oranges and pinks, with butterflies in my hair. There was no way that I was gonna get out there and sing, “hit that b!tch with a bottle”! Thankfully, I was eventually able to coerce Lateasha onto the stage in my place. Sure, I didn’t get to do my second set, but the crowd adored that bad ass mama.


The management at The Red Chair seems to think that the boys who show up at 11:00 pm only want to see videos, not drag queens. As a result, the girls didn’t have time to do all their numbers. Well, I beg to differ. I was barraged by men at the bar asking what my next song would be. When I explained that there wouldn’t be one due to time constraints, their hearts and hopes were crushed. As you can see by the picture on the right, I had to give a few of my friskier fans a special performance to make up for the disappointment. So, if you want to see a complete Glamazons show, I suggest you contact the management at the Red Chair and demand it.

So, what’s next for Daphne? Well, my lovely sister Linda Hand has just booked the Jenkins clan for a special performance in Charlotte, North Crazyland on February 18 at Daks Tavern. Stop back for more details.

Smooches,
Daph

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Red Chair Riot


My regular readers know that I am a huge fan of The Glamazons. The Jenkins clan recently attended their Red Chair premiere and it was an absolute blast. Well, when I received a phone call from their fabulous leader, Ziggy, offering me a spot in this week's show, I naturally leapt at the chance. Just think: I'll be their "special guest star" just like Heather Locklear on Melrose Place.

Besides, we're talking about an amazingly talented and diverse group of performers who are always willing to lend a gal a helping (not to mention immaculately manicured) hand despite their megastar status. Also, The Red Chair is an ideal location for a Friday night cabaret show: no cover; ample free parking; smoke-free environment; and early show time. That leaves you plenty of dough to purchase loads of refreshing adult beverages and to tip the divas. So, head on out this Friday and pray that I don't get hit by a Marta bus on my way to the gig this time:

When - Friday, February 3 at 9:30 pm
Where -
The Red Chair
Who -
The Glamazons with special guest star, Daphne Ruth Jenkins

It's sure to be a deliciously naughty time with the Jenkins clan on hand. Watch your wallets and your boyfriends!

Smooches,
Daph