We Are Family

(The Jenkins clan prepares to dazzle Charlotte with their demented talents. Clockwise from left: Momma Dale, Velma, Pinkie, Linda, Daph and Marsha.)

Charlotte, North Crazyland will never be the same. As you all know, our lushy sister, Linda Hand, booked us for a show at DAKS Tavern on Saturday evening. This festive little watering hole prides itself on being Charlotte’s most eccentric gay bar. In other words, we were a perfect fit.

Host Brandy Alexander opened the show with grace and style. Next up was one of their regular performers, Elvis. Yes girls, we’re talking hardcore Elvis impersonation here. I did mention “eccentric” right?

After that, the Jenkins clan took over completely. First up was Destiny’s Miscarriage, comprised of Pinkie “Beyonce” Devine, Velma “Kelly” Gwen and Daphne “Michelle” Ruth. We sweated and gyrated to an asthmatic version of “Make Me Lose My Breathe”.

After that, local gal Linda Hand took the stage with a show-stopping dance anthem, “In My Life”. I was at the bar getting a cocktail during her number (naturally) and was shocked to look over and notice that she had lost her wig. I’m certain she meant to do that. Regardless of her follicle malfunction, the crowd was visibly moved when Linda took a candle votives off one of the tables and held the flame over her head while wailing, “I’ve had enough of this in my life.” As some of you may know, the bar that she works at, Central Station, burned down a few months back and her house burned down just last week. I love her dearly, but I don’t think I’ll be letting her play with matches around my place anytime soon.

Momma Dale took the stage after that dramatic performance and scared the sh!t out of the crowd with “Hit That B!tch With A Bottle”. Interestingly, she chose to wear a pink beret without a wig. I guess this is only odd since she owns several crates full of wigs. Heck, everyone else was wearing her hair. Needless to say, Momma was absolutely fierce and would have made Lateasha from The Glamazons proud.

Marsha took over next with a rousing rendition of Kelly Clarkson’s “Gone”. With her black latex dress and cotton candy pink hair, she looked like a finalist for “Vegas In Space Idol”. This is actually a song I’ve been rehearsing myself. However, Marsha got to it first though, having premiered it at The River’s Edge recently. Maybe I can convince her to turn it into a duet with me.

Pinkie returned to the stage with a passionate mix of “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. I loved the fact that she combined the old Bonnie Tyler original with a dance remake. That was the first single I ever bought back when I was a wee lass.

Velma showed her originality by taking on Bjork’s “It’s Oh So Quiet” wearing a swan dress and dark queen hair. She was a deranged delight in her debut performance. Now that she’s been bitten by the performing bug, I expect lots of innovative and exciting work from her in the future.

In honor of the Daytona 5000, I treated the crowd to my racy version of Gwen Stefani’s “Crash”. I also used this opportunity to premiere a brand new electric blue wig. I enjoy doing that number so much; I think it’s destined to become one of my staples. It's a great excuse to get out in the crowd and "ride" a few of the hotties.

Linda was up once more to beg for tips…I mean entertain the crowd...with Fantasia’s “I Believe”. I believe she kept her wig on this time as she brought the house down with this inspirational tour de force.

We concluded the show with the chaotic group number, “We Are Family”. The entire clan wore that Jenkins trademark, roller disco hair. Toward the end of the song, we all started switching wigs. I even threw some hair on an audience member. Well, he was bald after all!

The show was a complete blast to put on and seemed to go over really well with the crowd. We were thronged by the masses backstage and over at Chasers where we went to relax after the show. In the photo to the left, you can see Pinkie chatting up one of our BIGGEST fans.

Next time, I’ll tell you all about the show Linda and I did Sunday night over at the Charlotte Eagle. The rest of the family had to head back to Hotlanta, so it was up to Linda and me to carry on the Jenkins tradition. Stop back to hear all the naughty details.

Smooches,
Daph