Wigstock South

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins, ready for a "Fight")


In honor of Peggy Sue Jenkins' birthday, Momma Dale threw a riotous Drag Yard Sale and Wigstock South Party last Saturday. In the afternoon, Momma opened her closets and let the teaming hordes rifle through her unmentionables. Before you could say "Blue Light Special" the polyester and sequins started flying.

When I arrived on the scene, the dainty Gigi Monroe was glowing in the same gorgeous wedding dress that was too small for every other drag queen that tried it on. Eat a cookie, you petite little b!tch! Just kidding...sort of.

Unfortunately, Gigi was voted off Atlanta Drag Idol last week to the shock of many. I wasn't able to make it to the Rock & Roll-themed night at Charlie Brown's Cabaret. However, I have it on good authority that Gigi was totally awesome, even playing along to "Hazy Shade of Winter" with live guitar. I demand a recount! Those other girls better watch themselves on "Wild Card" night when the contestants who have been voted out compete for the third slot in the finale.

At the sale, even Dannyboy's Daddy, visting from Fall River, Massivetwotits, got into the act, buying himself a couple of gorgeous frocks. The apple certainly didn't fall far from the tree!

Also on hand was Alexandria Martin, who was the most popular contestant on Rock & Roll night. Ms. Martin came dressed as a Krispy Kreme drive-up window teller and handed out hot donuts as she sang "Come To My Window". Apparently, the crowd couldn't get enough of her sticky sweets.

Once the sale was over, the girls got down to business and prepared for the wildly entertaining show in honor of Peggy Sue's birthday. Unfortunately, Violette "VD" Jenkins came down with a severe case of assholitis and was rushed off to the emergency room by Freak. Luckily, Pinkie Jenkins made a last-minute appearance, ready to take Violette's spot in the lineup. The show must go on!

First up was Linda Hand Jenkins, fresh from being crowned Miss Central Station. Linda dizzied the crowd with her multi-colored psychedelic retro-chic skirt. Fully aware of her limitations, Linda chose a groovy song with a great beat and absolutely no lyrics. None of that pesky trying to remember the words for this diva!

I was next up with Christina Aguilera's "Fighter". The crowd roared in appreciation as I flexed my bodacious biceps and pranced about in my custom-made sports bra that read "Daph".

I'm a difficult act to follow, but Head-Model Marsha B. Jenkins did a splendid job in a brave example of "suicide drag". She let Momma Dale choose her number without even letting her know what it was until Marsha was onstage before the audience. Taking pity on Marsha, Momma chose a nice safe Abba song. Marsha can do Abba in her sleep.

Much to everyone's delight Dolly Wood Jenkins made her debut next with a raucous rendition of The Dead Kennedy's' "Too Drunk To F#%K". And was she ever! Looking like a pre-rehab Courtney Love, Dolly Wood teetered over the edge of the pool as she guzzled down and entire bottle of whiskey during her number. All in all, an unforgettable premiere. I expect great things in the future from Dolly Wood Jenkins.

Pinkie Jenkins concluded the show with a heartfelt performance of "Watermelon, Watermelon". Or, was that "Stand By Your Man"? I wasn't sure. She nearly missed the opening of her number as she was grazing by the buffet. Ever practical, Pinkie simply grabbed an armload of chips and munched away throughout the performance. And did I mention her look? Pinkie broke from her signature color by wearing a lime dress with gonorrhea green hair. Just delightful!

As Liza Minnelli slurred when she played at Chastain last summer, it was like breathing peanut butter out on that stage. To escape the heat, all the girls slipped into bathing gear and jumped in the pool. There was more than a little horse play as DJ dunked Linda right under the water. Then there were two pre-rehab Courtney Loves!

Lord knows, Linda needed cooling off after getting all hot and bothered over Dannyboy's Daddy. All evening, she could be found cuddling up to Daddy and hiccupping like a Catholic school girl. Watch yourself, Linda: you don't want another unplanned pregnancy. Damn, it may be too late. From what I understand, Linda had a serious case of morning sickness the next day.

Well, it was certainly another memorable night at Momma Dale's. I'm really looking forward to this week's Atlanta Drag Idol to see if Alexandria can nab one of the two guaranteed spots in the finale. Check back this weekend for a full report.

Smooches,
Daphne Ruth Jenkins