Ho, Ho, Ho!

(Presenting Daphne Ruth Jenkins in her very own holiday specialmercial!)

Ya just gotta love the holidays with family. DJ and I spent this past Chrismukkah with our dear, demented kin, The Jenkins Clan. It was the usual mania over at Momma Dale's as the whole crew joined together to enjoy the festivities. Unfortunately, Pinkie Jenkins was out of town enjoying a little R&R. For once, there was enough food for everyone!

Momma Dale and Marsha spent all Christmas Eve on a Desperate Housewives, First Season marathon. There's nothing like backstabbing, pill popping, adulterous, and stunningly gorgeous gals to make you really appreciate the true meaning of the holidays.

After gorging ourselves on our Christmas lasagna, we gathered around the tree and opened gifts. Marsha loved her "Now Available in Sober" t-shirt. Peggy Sue received some flawless MAC nail polish that I simply had to try out that evening. Heava Beaver and Zach gave DJ an S&M novel called "Spanking The Maid". How appropriate! In keeping with the holiday theme, I got a Desperate Housewives "Dirty Laundry" board game.

That evening, we headed out to the Stage Door for the Stage Door Divas show. Marsha was unable to join us for the evening festivities as she needed to head home and pack for her trip to sunny Florida with Mookie, Heava and Zach. However, we were joined at the last minute by VD and Freak. Upon entering the club, everyone mistook me for my sister Marsha. It's so hard to tell us gals apart with that distinctive Jenkins family resemblance.

Since I was on holiday, I didn't take careful notes of all the performers and the numbers. For me though, the highlight of the night was the special guest performer who had an uncanny resemblance to Amy Sedaris of Strangers With Candy. This gal must have taught Heather Daniels how to make the most out of some dental floss, a few feathers and a handful of sequins.

Poor Lynx received the nickname of Brawny for the night. As it turns out, she forgot her boobies at home and had to construct her rack out of paper towels. Trust me: don't try this at home! However, it was great seeing my fellow competitor from the Miss Corn Cobb County Pageant, Glad Ass, tearing it up on stage.

Next up, we're going to try to make it over to The Armory this evening for the final weekend of The Glamazons. Sad but true, The Armory is closing on New Year's Eve. The entire Jenkins clan sends their best wishes to the entire cast and crew of The Glamazons.

Smooches,

Daphne Ruth Jenkins

Happy Birthday To Me

(Daph and Momma Dale partying it up!)

Hey ladies! Believe it or not, I turn another year older today. I know it appears that I just keep getting younger. However, that's just my strict regimen of binge-and-purge!

We have a full agenda for the day. First up was sleeping until noon. A girl's gotta get her diva rest.

Next up is bloody mary's and homemade blueberry pancakes. My sister Velma is a whiz in the kitchen. It must be all those French chefs she studied under...literally.

After that we plan to enjoy an afternoon of shopping. I'm going to treat myself to an ipod. That way during my work commute, I can listen to all these great podcasts that are just a-poppin' up all over the internet. Speaking of speaking of fabulous podcasts, check out the new Drag-O-Drama site for the latest shows. My scintillating interview with Alexandria Martin is up. There's also a more recent show where Momma Dale, Pinkie and Marsha give tips on how to party like drag queens. It's an absolute scream!

After our shopping spree, we'll be starting the beauty portion of the day. First stop will be Dragon Nails for mani/pedi's. After that, we're heading over to Ulta to get new birthday do's from Momma Dale. I wonder if we can squeeze a facial in there somewhere. Sure, there's always time to stop by a rest area on the way back into town.

This evening, Velma and I have reservations at Woodfire Grille, a fabulous restaurant on Cheshire Bridge. It's my b-day, so I'm going to make an absolute Pinkie...I mean pig of myself. After we finish up at the feeding trough, who knows? There are so many options: Charlie Brown's, The Armory, Swinging Richard's. We'll just have to wait and see where my libido leads us.

Good thing my birthday is on a Friday this year. That way, I can sleep in until Christmas.

Smooches,
Daph

MIA

I know, I know, your darling Daphne Ruth Jenkins has been Missing In Action for far too long. No, I haven't been on a month-long bender. Those rumors about an unscheduled stay in Betty Ford are completely unfounded as well. It's just that this holiday season has been a decidedly hectic one for this gal about town. Since last we dished, I enjoyed a raucous Thanksgiving over at Momma Dale's Den. Girl, I was all binge and no purge as I woofed down plate after plate of delectable delights.

That night, we recorded one of our wildest Podcasts to date with dozens of drag queens in the trailer. Swing on over to the new-and-improved Drag-O-Drama to give it a listen. I also had the great honor of interviewing one of my drag idols, Alexandria Martin, that night. Keep your eyes peeled for that podcast to premiere any day now.

The big news these days is that Velma and I are thinking about moving to Louisville, Kentucky. My degenerate twin, Dannyboy, has a big job opportunity there, so we decided to check out the scene. Ladies, we discovered that Louisville has more going for it than just the Kentucky Derby. We went to this one club, The Connection, that was like 6 bars combined into one. You enter via a quaint piano bar filled with the usual frustrated musical theater queens. Off to the right is what we affectionately called "The Locker Room". The highlight of this bar is a hot stud soaping up in the glass shower. Past that was a dick dancer bar where I decided to have a seat only to find a thonged twink ready to give me a lap dance. Luckily, I didn't spend all my tips there as the real entertainment was about to begin.

After shimmying our way through the dance floor, we finally discovered the amazing drag show room. This venue had an enormous stage, complete with tiered seating and balconies. The show itself was absolutely fantastic. We saw lots of amazing drag talent as the ladies performed everything from Madonna's new smash single to classics by Tina Turner. The crowd was really into it and fed the performers lots of euphoric energy. Maybe there is life in Kentucky after all. I know that Alexandria may be heading to Louisville in 2006 for the Entertainer of The Year Pageant. Won't that be a kicker if Velma and I are living there at the time. Oh, and another thing: the drinks are cheap. I'm going to go start packing!

Right now, we're in Massachusetts visiting the family. I've brought all kinds of goodies for glamour-impaired: Ben Nay eye shadows for my niece; feather lashes for my sister. Next up on the trek is New York City to visit our wacky pals, Dennis and Jonathan. I'm sure to have lots of mayhem to report after that visit. Daphne's ready to take a bite out of the Big Apple.

Smooches,
Daphne Ruth Jenkins