MIA

I know, I know, your darling Daphne Ruth Jenkins has been Missing In Action for far too long. No, I haven't been on a month-long bender. Those rumors about an unscheduled stay in Betty Ford are completely unfounded as well. It's just that this holiday season has been a decidedly hectic one for this gal about town. Since last we dished, I enjoyed a raucous Thanksgiving over at Momma Dale's Den. Girl, I was all binge and no purge as I woofed down plate after plate of delectable delights.

That night, we recorded one of our wildest Podcasts to date with dozens of drag queens in the trailer. Swing on over to the new-and-improved Drag-O-Drama to give it a listen. I also had the great honor of interviewing one of my drag idols, Alexandria Martin, that night. Keep your eyes peeled for that podcast to premiere any day now.

The big news these days is that Velma and I are thinking about moving to Louisville, Kentucky. My degenerate twin, Dannyboy, has a big job opportunity there, so we decided to check out the scene. Ladies, we discovered that Louisville has more going for it than just the Kentucky Derby. We went to this one club, The Connection, that was like 6 bars combined into one. You enter via a quaint piano bar filled with the usual frustrated musical theater queens. Off to the right is what we affectionately called "The Locker Room". The highlight of this bar is a hot stud soaping up in the glass shower. Past that was a dick dancer bar where I decided to have a seat only to find a thonged twink ready to give me a lap dance. Luckily, I didn't spend all my tips there as the real entertainment was about to begin.

After shimmying our way through the dance floor, we finally discovered the amazing drag show room. This venue had an enormous stage, complete with tiered seating and balconies. The show itself was absolutely fantastic. We saw lots of amazing drag talent as the ladies performed everything from Madonna's new smash single to classics by Tina Turner. The crowd was really into it and fed the performers lots of euphoric energy. Maybe there is life in Kentucky after all. I know that Alexandria may be heading to Louisville in 2006 for the Entertainer of The Year Pageant. Won't that be a kicker if Velma and I are living there at the time. Oh, and another thing: the drinks are cheap. I'm going to go start packing!

Right now, we're in Massachusetts visiting the family. I've brought all kinds of goodies for glamour-impaired: Ben Nay eye shadows for my niece; feather lashes for my sister. Next up on the trek is New York City to visit our wacky pals, Dennis and Jonathan. I'm sure to have lots of mayhem to report after that visit. Daphne's ready to take a bite out of the Big Apple.

Smooches,
Daphne Ruth Jenkins