Dishin' With Daphne

A place for the international performing sensation Daphne Ruth Jenkins to spew her earth-shattering revelations regarding life, love, family and fame.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Daphne's Debut

(Daphne feelin' it at the Armory with Alexandria, Diamond and Gigi.)

Girl, last weekend I had my drag endurance tested to its limits. As most of you know, I entered Ziggy's Big Fat Talent Extraordinaire Extravaganza with my Christina Aguilera “Fighter” number. I was a huge hit in my brand new yellow japanimation wig and my crimson fighter’s robe. Of course, it didn’t hurt that 30 of my nearest and dearest friends showed up to cheer me on.

Even Candy Jenkins, newly arrived from her studies in Switzerland was there to support me. Meanwhile, it was all I could do to keep my sisters from having a feeding frenzy over that big stud, Oscar. Hands off, b!tches! He came to see me!

Despite my efforts to stack the crowd in my favor, the competition was fierce and I ended up sharing the victory with the immensely talented Diamond Monroe. We were both invited back on Saturday night for a paid gig to perform two numbers with the Glamazons. I couldn’t believe someone was going to pay me good money to do something that I enjoyed so much. This must be what it feels like to be a porn star!

As soon as my excitement faded, though, I suddenly came to the realization that I had less than 24 hours to come up with brand new material. Luckily, I always have a few numbers waiting in the wings. The next morning I frantically dialed Momma to make sure she had what I needed in her endless racks of couture. In addition, the amazing Alexandria Martin helped me get my make-up just the way I wanted it. What would I do without their guidance?

The night of the show was absolute magic. Many of the girls welcomed me into the glamour of their backstage world with open arms. The enigmatic Isabella Diamante proved that big stars don’t have to have big egos by coming to my rescue on several occasions during the night. This guardian angel found me some duct tape when I needed a costume assist and repeatedly checked on me to provide comfort and assistance.

Well, you can get all the help in the world, but once you’re on the stage, it all comes down to you. Since the second night was not a competition, I decided to do more personal and less mainstream songs. My first number was “Filthy Gorgeous” by the Scissor Sisters. Strutting across the stage in my curly brown wig and hot pink playboy bunny halter top, I was feeling every bit the “ghetto princess” from the lyrics.

For my second song, I performed Liz Phair’s “H.W.C”. If you’ve never heard this song, you need to take note. It’s all about the restorative qualities of man juice. I donned my sluttish Catholic school girl skirt and my pink “Bad Seed” wig. Mookie and Peggy even made me a giant lollipop to seductively lick onstage. I was a little concerned that the more conservative members of the crowd would be shocked and horrified by the blatant sexuality of the routine. However, once the music started, the crowd was transported by the sunny optimism of the tune. I even spied a few fans enthusiastically singing and clapping along to “Give me your hot, white come.”

However, the number was not without incident. First of all, I nearly missed my cue due to confusion over the set list. Atlanta Drag Idol Gigi Monroe was supposed to be up next when they announced my name and the beat to "H.W.C" started. I hit the stage without a second to spare. However, I had forgotten my lollipop. DJ was thinking on his toes: he ran backstage and handed me the sucker from the audience. Good thing too, seeing as the prop was a big hit. ATLSingleMan even ran up to get a good lick.

Then the unthinkable happened: I had a wardrobe malfunction. Without realizing it, my right tittie popped out of my teeny weenie white top exposing my red bra to the entire audience. Momma Dale leaned over to Pinkie and suggested that she go up to fix my top. Pinkie replied, “I like it better that way.” Thanks sis! Luckily, Ruby Redd was there to protect my honor. She graciously walked up during my number, slipped me some cash and discretely pulled my shirt back over my bouncing mammaries. Now that’s a lady with some class. Not a lot, but some.

Apparently, my numbers were not a total train wreck, because Ziggy grabbed me backstage to offer her encouragement. She raved about my originality and implored me to continue being true to myself and not to let anyone try to change me. It meant so much to me to hear these words of support from an Atlanta legend like Ziggy. She asked me if I’d be interested in coming back Halloween weekend to be in their production of “Rocky Horror Picture Show”. Naturally, I jumped at the chance to work with Alexandria Martin, Gigi Monroe and the rest of the Glamazons again. Plus, that gives me plenty of time to practice doing “The Time Warp”.

Poor DJ finally hit his drag saturation point on Sunday. Understandably, he did not want to hear another word about what number I should do at the upcoming East Point Possums show or what make-up supplies I might need. So, we headed off to Woofs to hang out with the bears and watch the New England Patriots snatch a narrow victory from the Steelers. DJ seemed absolutely intoxicated by being immersed in that den of sporty queens. Of course, I didn’t bother to mention that Woofs boys wear their own drag: sneakers; tank tops or flannel; caps; beards; etc.

Smooches,
Daph

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Big Fat Talent - Update

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins taking on all comers at The Armory.)

I'm so excited! Last night, I made my Armory debut, competing in Ziggy's Big Fat Talent Extraordinaire Extravaganza. I had an absolute blast doing my Christina Aguilera "Fighter" number on that marvelous stage.

The competition was fierce and way too close to call, so I shared the victory and will be returning this evening for a paid gig with the Glamazons! I'd relay more of the highlights with you, but I'm frantically preparing for tonight's show.

Thanks sooooo much to everyone who came out to support me last night. It really touched me to have you all there cheering me on.

It's because of you that I get to come back to the Armory tonight and do two numbers! I've got a few little gems that I'm thinking about premiering this evening. I promise to do my best to repay your kind support by entertaining your asses off with two brand new productions.
I really couldn't have done it without you all. It's absolutely true when they say that Drag-O-Rama is a network.

Remember, the show starts promptly tonight at 11:30. Ziggy was telling me that there's no cover before 1:00 am. I hope you'll come out and continue to share this wild ride with me.

When - Saturday, September 24 at 11:30 pm
Where - The Armory
Who - Daphne Ruth Jenkins with The Glamazons

Smooches,
Daph



Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Vivacious Vancouver

(Daphne in Stanley Park checking out the Mounties' Totem Poles.)

Forgive me for taking so long to get back to telling you all about the trip that DJ and I took to Vancouver. I've been frantically preparing to compete in Ziggy's Big Fat Talent Extraordinaire Extravaganza this Friday at The Armory. However, it really was a fantastic trip, so I would be remiss if I didn't share my experiences while they're still fresh in my vodka-addled mind.

DJ and I stayed at
The Nelson House, a delightfully quaint little B&B in Vancouver's West End (aka Marytown). Each of the rooms is decorated in different themes such as Hollywood glamour, and maritime mirth. Just steps from Davie Street and Prospect Park, DJ and I were in the perfect location to soak in all the sights and sounds of Vancouver.

Davie Street is Vancouver's answer to the Castro District. Lined with bars, dance clubs and adult novelty stores, this is the place to go to experience gay nightlife in Vancouver. However, the fun is not relegated strictly to the post-sunset hours. Happily, our visit coincided with
Davie Day, a festive block party to celebrate the diverse community of Davie Village. In other words, it was a great excuse to get a good afternoon drunk on and watch some fabulous drag performances in the streets.

Which isn't to say that our trip was all about booze and debauchery. DJ and I did enjoy a lovely bike ride around scenic
Stanley Park. The totem poles are a site to see. As are the endless trails and paths through this mammoth outdoor playground. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that some major cruising goes on in those woods.

We also spent some time communing with nature at
Wreck Beach, the clothing-optional oasis at the University of British Columbia. The beach is accessed by an Escher-like wooden stairway that seems to descend forever. High heels are not advised! However, once you get to the beach you feel like you've entered another reality. Unbelievably hot surfer boys sun their naked fannies next to middle-aged parents in their altogether. If you get too hot staring at all that naked manflesh, then simply buy an ice-cold beer from one of the many convenient entrepreneur's roaming the beach. While lounging in the sun, you're likely to be offered a variety of refreshments including hash brownies, mushrooms and even cold cut sandwiches. The only thing missing was an escalator to carry my drunk, horny, hallucinating butt back up to the road at the end of the day.

As if all this wasn't enough, Vancouver also offered stellar arts and entertainment. We hopped over to Granville Island to experience the
Vancouver Fringe Festival. The worst part about this terrific theater event was that there were so many choices, it was hard to decide which shows to take in. Our favorite presentation was The Wet Spots' Big Ass Show. This kinky husband and wife cabaret act delighted with crowd with songs such as "Wherever You're Going (I'd Like to Come)" about the elusive female orgasm and the self-explanatory "Bi-Curious Guy". Sexy and thought-provoking, this duo will have you humming the chorus from "Do You Take It (In The Ass?)" as you dance out of the theater.

All in all, DJ and I both fell deeply in love with Vancouver, the city of glass. It will be interesting to see what happens to this beautiful metropolis as the Winter Olympics of 2010 approaches. Hopefully, it will retain it's unique character as it grows in world-prominence.

Smooches,
Daph

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Big Fat Talent

(DJ and Daphne Ruth Jenkins feeling the excitement at The Armory)

Just got back from another luxurious weekend at Lumberjacks Campground and Resort. You see, I needed a little r&r to prepare for this Friday's big gig. I'm planning to enter Ziggy's Big Fat Talent Extraordinaire Extravaganza at The Armory. I'll be getting there around 10:30 pm and the contest starts at 11:30 pm. Not only do you get to see the contestants perform (including yours truly), but you also get to enjoy the glittering talents of selected Glamazons including Atlanta Drag Idol winner, Gigi Monroe.

The contest is judged by the audience, so be sure to stop by to support Daphne in her attempt to take the Atlanta drag scene by storm. The details again are:

When - Friday, September 23 at 11:30 pm
Where - The Armory
Who - Daphne Ruth Jenkins (of course!)

Smooches,
Daph

Friday, September 16, 2005

Congratulations Gigi!

(DJ, Ruby Redd, Gigi Monroe and Dannyboy at Blake's On The Park for Gigi's victory party)

Unless you’ve been hiding under a very large rock, you know that Gigi Monroe has claimed the title of the first Atlanta Drag Idol. To honor her achievement, Blake’s On The Park threw Gigi a swinging soiree this Thursday. The prospect of hobnobbing with the drageratti of Atlanta and free booze was too much for me to pass up. Of course, my first priority was to congratulate Gigi on her well-deserved victory. Stop snickering, Pinkie!

DJ and I met up with Momma Dale over on the Blake’s patio for the bash. Before long, we were joined by head model, Marsha B. Jenkins and her doe-eyed sidekick, Bambi Jenkins. This was the first time I’d seen Bambi in several months. What fun it was taking turns dipping into the complimentary vodka & cranberry fountain provided by the generous management of Blake’s. It was all I could do to keep Bambi from sticking her head into the fountain and guzzling directly from one of those refreshing pink streams.

I was honored to meet Gigi’s very own Momma. And what a sharp one she is! When Momma Dale pointed out that Marsha is head model, Momma Monroe replied, “I could tell: She has very, very white teeth; and she has very, very chiseled features; and she has very, very processed hair.”

We also had a blast hanging out with the East Point Possums gang. They’re a great bunch of gals who are organizing a Katrina-benefit drag show in early October. I’m planning an extra special performance for the event. Check back in the coming weeks for more details.

Of course, the star of the evening was Miss Gigi Monroe. A film of Gigi’s performances in the Atlanta Drag Idol Finale at Charlie Brown’s Cabaret was played during the celebration. I was delighted by this given that DJ and I missed the final show when we were in Vancouver. Granted, watching the film probably couldn’t compare with actually being there. However, Gigi’s Spider Woman number still made me pee myself with excitement.

After the viewing, the raucous Ruby Redd said a few kind words about Gigi, describing how she had destroyed the competition and calling it “a bloodbath.” The ever gracious Gigi took a moment to thank everyone for supporting her throughout the competition. She described this past summer as one in which her dreams had come true. Gigi went on to say that she would do whatever she could to help others realize their dreams as well. If the Atlanta drag scene is supposedly full of back-stabbing, petty b!tches, how could someone so nice win a drag competition? Oh yeah, TALENT!

Gigi had to jet shortly thereafter for a gig at Burkhart’s. So, off she went to spread glamour and joy around Atlanta. I don’t know where that girl gets her restraint and ambition. If that had been my party, we all know I would have wound up either a) passed out under the bar or b) cracked out on top of the bartender.

Gigi’s schedule is packed tighter than Pinkie in a corset. However, she has promised me an in-depth interview. We’ll be sitting down in the coming weeks for a tell-all exposé. If you have any questions you’d like to ask the very first Atlanta Drag Idol, please send them along.

Smooches,
Daphne Ruth Jenkins

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Vancouver Ice Queen

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins drinking in the sights at Hotlanta's recent Black Gay Pride festivities.)

DJ and I just returned from a whirlwind tour of Vancouver, British Columbia. What an absolutely enchanting city. It reminded me of a Canadian version of San Francisco. I plan to write about our adventures there for my next couple of posts.

As most of you know, we were more than a little dissappointed that during our trip we'd be missing the finale to Atlanta Drag Idol at Charlie Brown's Cabaret. However, my sister Pinkie covered the herstory-making event in gory detail over at Pillow Talk With Pinkie D. Jenkins. I was thrilled to hear that the glamtastic Gigi Monroe captured the crown in a show-stopping theatrical spectacle. Do stop by Pinkie's to find out more.

In the meantime, DJ and I ironically stumbled across the first round of Vancouver's own Smirnoff Ice Queen competition at The Odyssey Night Club. The rules were a little different than Atlanta Drag Idol: for each Smirnoff product that you bought, you obtained a ballot to vote for your favorite diva. Naturally, DJ and I wound up with a fistfull of votes for our favorite performers.

First up was Sofanda Wholes in a clingy green dress and unstyled blonde hair. The first thing I noticed was that girlfriend was barely wearing any make-up. As judge Gouda Gabor quipped, "You either need to wear more base or get a closer shave." And Gouda should know, her generously lacquered lips left a big red circle around her microphone five minutes into the show. Gouda's advice may sound harsh but Sofanda needed the advice. At one point, she lifted her dress to reveal a pistol strapped to her leg. Unfortunately, she also flashed the audience her less-than-examplary tuck job. Someone give this girl a needs-based scholarship to Drag-O-Rama University.

I was getting more than a little nervous that I'd stepped into the drag dark ages. However, the next girl up, Kristina Cash, was a vast improvement. By far, the most fishy of the group, Kristina could easily have passed for a past-her-prime sorority sister at a local meat market straight bar. For her number, Kristina chose a great song, though not a terrific choice necessarily for her. Kristina made a valiant attempt at Christina Aguilera's "Fighter". Her lip-synching was spot-on. However, she looked more like she was ready for a nap than ready for a rumble. Having performed this number myself recently, I can tell you that it's a high energy piece. As Fantasia taught us all on American Idol, "You need to get ugly!" Apparently, Dax, the drag king judge who won last year's Ice Queen agreed. His own number to open the show was a powerhouse performance. Dax suggested that Kristina "give it more" during her next peformance.

Kamelle Toe, was up next to show the rest of the girls exactly what it means to "give it". Kamelle's brassy rendition of "Red Neck Woman" had her fans singing and clapping along. She may not have been wearing as much make-up as I would to take the trash out; however, her denim and plaid, cowboy hat wearing, gap-toothed style fit the song perfectly. The third judge, a local actor who I'll call Napoleon, leered, "Call me when your other tooth falls out." According to Kristina, a voracious gossip, Napoleon's propositioned her as well. Stick to your guns, Kamelle, you can win this competition on talent alone.

The fourth contestant of the night was Tequila Mockingbird. Not to be confused with the Marietta-based drag queen of the same name, this Tequila is a pretty slip of a thing with a penchant for Britney Spears. Her red-sequined boustier and matching hat were a breath of fresh air after the off-the-rack outfits worn by the other ladies that night. While her number did linger around a bit longer than it should have, she undeniably had some great dance moves. However, as Kristina purred, "Sure, she can dance, but what else has she got?"

To pile ironies on top of ironies, D'rea Dream, the next performer, tried her hand at "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from The Little Mermaid. This is the same song that the legenday Alexandria Martin nailed a few nights earlier at Atlanta Drag Idol. However, D'rea lacked Alexandria's visual panache, wearing a simple black dress with fringe. The closest thing to a nautical theme about her outfit was the fact that her hair was so flat it looked like she had washed it in the ocean at low tide.

Just when my faith in Canadian drag was starting to fail again, January hit the stage to the beat of "Naughty Girl". Like a big, bold and beautiful Beyonce, January shook her booty and tosssed her long satiny real hair. January had the crowd on it's feet and in the palm of her hand. This Child has a Destiny in the finals of the competition.

Well, no one was surpised when Iona Whip, the host of the evening, announced that D'rea Dream was in the bottom two. However, I was shocked to hear that Tequila Mockingbird was. That Sofanda Wholes must have a lot of vodka guzzling friends in the audience to have passed onto the next phase of the contest.

In this competition, the bottom two girls get to perform one more song and then the judges decide who gets booted. Much to my horror, Tequila Mockingbird did another Britney song. And, this was after Gouda Gabor told her, "I don't want to hear anymore f#cking Britney Spears!" D'rea Dream's second number started out strong with a fun medley of crowd-pleasing anthems. However, it definitely overstayed its welcome, and that hair didn't get any less flat. While the judges seemed concerned about Tequila's lack of range, they unanimously decided to put D'rea out of her misery.

Next week, there will be another herd of brand new contestants competing for a spot in week three's Britney-themed round. Look's like Gouda will not be getting her wish! I'm certainly curious to hear how the competition unfolds. For my money, Kamelle Toe and January are the girls to beat from round one's bevy of beauties. If anyone has updates available in the coming weeks, please let me know.


The Vancouver drag scene was completely different than what I am accustomed to in Atlanta: the girls wore a whole lot less make-up; there were very few hip pads in sight; and a sorry number of them need lessons in how to jack their hair. However, I also noticed that not a single patron tipped! No wonder these ladies don't go all out. You have to pay for your entertainment.

Granted, I was wondering how tipping would work given that Canadians use $1 and $2 coins, not bills. These girls need serious change purses. In the immortal words of Miss Dolly Parton, "It's expensive looking this cheap."

Smooches,

Daphne Ruth Jenkins



Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Drag Idol Finals

(Dannyboy, Alexandria Martin, DJ and Angelica Diamante at Charlie Brown's)

After eight exhilarating weeks of competition, the Atlanta Drag Idol Finals at Charlie Brown’s Cabaret is finally here. The four remaining contestants have competed, crawled and clawed their way to the top. The only thing standing between them and the crown is one night with two performances apiece.

To be honest, the girl I’m most surprised to see in the finale is Angelica Diamante. Before you Angelica fans start hating on me, let me explain. Always lovely and entertaining, Angelica seemed overshadowed earlier on in the competition by some of the more showy performers. However, girlfriend pulled out all the stops on Wildcard night by breaking out her inner ghetto princess and blowing the doors off the place. Is this a turning point for Angelica or was that a one-time flash of brilliance?

Regular readers of my column know that I’m a huge Gigi Monroe fan. She’s received some criticism for her reliance on props. Personally, I love them. Gigi’s theatrical instincts are outstanding. When she does a number, she doesn’t just lip synch; she creates an entire mood. Gigi’s costumes and song-choice have consistently been daring and deeply personal. Many felt her highpoint in the series was when she performed both Belle and The Beast on Broadway night. When Gigi connects with an audience, it’s magic. Will the crowd be enchanted this week or will Gigi’s performancess go over their heads?

The uber-popular Jade Daniels has the distinction of being the most controversial contestant in the competition. Having butted heads several times with the judges over her lack of hip pads, Jade has stuck to her guns and remained true to her ideals. Insisting that “skin is in”, Jade has consistently wowed the crowd with her amazingly versatile costumes and sexy routines. Few will forget the night she broke free from a straightjacket and ripped up her pads in front of the judges. Will the audience and judge’s admire Jade’s fierce independence or will she alienate them?

There were naysayers who predicted an early elimination from the competition for Alexandria Martin. The most “camp” of all the contestants, Alexandria has honed her ample talents week after week and developed into a judge and audience favorite. Every time I think about Alexandria spinning around in her Wonder Woman costume during the “Hero Medley” I pee myself a little. I believed in her from the start. But, as the judges pointed out, now Alexandria believes in herself. Will her comedic skills be enough to squash the competition or will they have the last laugh?

The ladies are allowed to do something new or something that they’ve already performed in the competition. I’d say the safe money is on blowing away the crowd with something they’re not even expecting. Of course, “safe” is not what I’d recommend for any of these girls. If there’s one thing that the past eight weeks has shown, it’s that taking a risk and stretching yourself is what the crowd responds to.

Unfortunately, I will be unable to attend the competition this week due to a scheduling conflict. DJ and I will be up in Vancouver entertaining those Canucks with a little Southern hospitality. However, my sassy sister, Pinkie Devine Jenkins will be covering the finale over at her beguiling site, Pillow Talk With Miss Pinkie D. Jenkins. Do stop by to read all about the final results of this history-making event.

Best of luck to all the divas!

Smooches,
Daphne Ruth Jenkins

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Wild Card Idol

(Dannyboy, Alexandria, Nicole, Momma Dale and Cathy at Charlie Brown's Cabaret)

If anyone thought they knew the way that Wild Card night at Atlanta Drag Idol was going to go down, they were surely surprised. All seven contestants who had been previously voted off had one last chance to claim a spot in next week's finale at Charlie Brown's Cabaret. The prize package has grown over course of the competition to include limousine rides to bookings, photography services and lots o' cash! That limo service will come in pretty handy with the current price of gas. The girls were hungry for all that loot and brought their sh!t with them this week.

Having already secured their spots in the finale, Jade Daniels and Alexandria Martin had the night off. Alexandria joined Momma Dale, DJ, Cathy and me in the audience to enjoy the evening's entertainment. We also met up with Monica and her adorable plumber's crack sporting boytoy, Topher. I hadn't seen them since the Easter Drag Races at Burkhart's. It took me several minutes of searching through my clouded memory to remember them from that vodka drenched holiday. It was great hearing about what I did that day during my blackout.

Well, onto the girls. Elise Kensington was first up wearing a red headdress (borrowed from Monica) and matching red showgirl two-piece. She had a great night and appeared much more poised and confident than she had been in the earlier days of the competition.

Jealouse was up next wearing a giant gold and purple headdress. She had a matching staff topped off with what looked like an old wig. The overall effect was certainly fierce: sort of a combination of Tina Turner from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and the White Witch from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

The competition really began when Gigi Monroe hit the stage to Heart's "Alone". She was looking especially lush in a gorgeous crimson dress covered in roses. Turns out it's the same white wedding dress that Gigi picked up at Momma Dale's drag sale a few weeks back. It had been Gigi-ized for her number as the ultimate Queen of Hearts. I jumped right out of my seat when Gigi's rose bouquet exploded at the end of the performance. That Gigi's always so theatrical.

Isabella Diamante had the unenviable task of going on after Gigi. She looked especially gorgeous in an orange Asian dress and short curly hair. Those eyes...those cheekbones!

In back-to-back Diamante's, Angelica was up next. To the beat of Missy Elliot, Angelica appeared on-stage in an inflatable garbage bag suit. With a little assistance from a hunky boytoy, Angelica emerged and owned everyone's asses in tight white booty shorts and a red ghetto fabulous top. This number was totally unlike anything that Angelica had done previously in the contest and signaled her as a real threat in the competition.

Sonique hit the stage next looking like she stepped right out of a Pink video with a blonde mohawk and leather dominatrix gear. She landed her signature flips perfectly and delivered that trademark attitude with aplomb.

The final contestant of the night was Destiny. She was probably more than a little nervous after Angelica had nailed similar material and blown away the crowd. However, she delivered the goods, utilizing some sharp choreography and a male dancer who inspired a few of the lustful boys in the audience to try to tip HIM.

After seeing all the performances, no one was surprised to hear Charlie announce that Gigi and Angelica were the top two contestants of the night. However, everyone was shocked to hear that the votes were so close that they would BOTH be moving onto next week's showdown. Therefore, the finale to Atlanta Drag Idol will feature four contestants: Alexandria Martin, Jade Daniels, Gigi Monroe and Angelica Diamante.

I'm nearly distraught over the fact that I will not be able to attend the finale next week. I have a few gigs up in Canada and will be in Vancouver the night of the show. However, it is a mandatory Drag-O-Rama event, so I'm sure that many of my sisters will be in attendance. Good luck to all the girls. No matter who claims the title, you're all superstars!

Smooches,
Daphne Ruth Jenkins