Dishin' With Daphne

Rock Show

2008-08-28T20:19:00.009-04:00

Honey, it's been a wild hot summer with GenderPop Cabaret. I'm still recovering from the rock show we threw at FuZion NightClub last Saturday.

It was a raucous night that started with a wicked live set from The Trampskirts. They're a lesbian punk band from Nashville that knows how to entertain!

After they got the crowd all warmed up, GenderPop Cabaret hit the stage and blew away the audience with one rockin' number after another. I participated in three brand new numbers. There's videotape, so I'm hoping to get some footage posted soon.

By the way, since this is a holiday weekend, don't be surprised if you catch me and Ida out at Woody's Tavern for karaoke on Sunday. You just can't keep us out of the spotlight.

Smooches,

Daph

A Jenkins Salute To America

2008-07-04T13:05:00.004-04:00

(Melody, Ida, Daphne and Mee-Maw salute the troops at Woody's Tavern.)

Nothing says patriotism like a couple of drunk drag queens stumbling through a slew of rousing musical numbers. So Ida and I headed out to Woody's Tavern to celebrate America day with our hunky pals, Mee-Maw and Melody. We sang all of our crowd pleasing hits like "Rehab" and "Landslide". We also unveiled a couple of new songs that I'll be posting here shortly.

In the meantime, here's a grand production number that Mee-Maw and Melody joined me on:

This patriotic anthem for the ages is called "The House We Live In" and comes from my favorite Broadway musical, Grey Gardens. In case you missed this grand spectacle during it's run, it featured Christine Ebersole in her Tony-winning role as Little Edie. The musical is based on the cult classic documentary of the same name. The doc is available on DVD and is must viewing for it's unflinching look at the redemptive power of fashion amidst the squalor of decay.

I hope you all have an inspiring America day. To tied you over until the rest of the videos to be posted, check out the photo gallery from our celebration over at Down with Daphne.

Smooches,

Daphne

Daphne and The Drag Kings

2008-06-17T18:42:00.001-04:00

This Thursday, June 19 I'll be joining Gender Pop Cabaret for the House of Pride party at Pink Door. Gender Pop Cabaret is a rockin' group of delicious drag kings who are gonna blow the roof off the place. I've got a feisty little number to unveil for this special occasion that I've never done in Louisville before. It's the perfect way to kick off Pride Weekend...and it's FREE.

Here are the details:

Pink Door presents House of Pride

Thursday, June 19, 2008

10pm showtime with Gender Pop Cabaret featuring Daphne Ruth Jenkins

2222 Dundee Road, Louisville

pinkdoorlouisville.com

21&upFree before midnight; $3 cover starting at the witching hour

Hope to see you all out for all the Pride festivities.

Smooches,

Daph

Tutti Frutti Summer Love

2008-05-24T09:37:00.005-04:00

(Summer memories of Pinkie, Linda, Visa Decline, Daphne and Alexandria Martin.)

Happy Memorial Day, all you sexy beasts! I know, I know, I fell off the face of the planet at Derby time. Honey, that will happen in Kentucky. All those D-grade celebrities come into town to party and Daphne just loses her mind a little. But have no fear, I've got a backlog of vivacious videos to post here now that I've awoken from my mint julep-induced coma. Also, Ida Claire and I have some fabulous ideas for future videos and posts.

In the meantime, here's a little ode to summertime from everyone's favorite mullet-wearing sex god, Gunther:

So, whether you like bananas or "melonas" (or both), have a fabulous Memorial Day Weekend. Ida and I are heading out to the pool to work on our tans and some nutrious bloody mary's. What's that you say, getting drunk before noon is improper? Well, "It's a no no, and I like it."

Smooches,
Daph

We Lost The Beat

2008-04-13T20:24:00.000-04:00

(Holly, Ida and Daphne prepare for their next singing engagement at Woody's Tavern.)

It's become a Jenkins tradition to treat our fans to a rousing group number at each karaoke party that we throw. Easter was no exception as we tackled The Go-Go's "We Got The Beat". Of course, the name of the song may have been somewhat wishful thinking. After we each had performed multiple songs and had imbibed countless cocktails, we all seemed to find the beat somewhat elusive:

Well, we gave it our all and the crowd certainly showed their appreciation. We were called back to the spotlight repeatedly throughout the evening. We provided some exotic back-up dancing for Eric during David Bowie's "China Girl". Dave and I turned Hole's "Celebrity Skin" into a rockin' duet while Ida and Holly demonstrated some fierce head-banging. Heck, we even participated in a spiritually uplifting chorus of "Will The Circle Be Unbroken". Truly, there was something for everyone.

Due to popular demand, we've booked a Kentucky Derby-themed return engagement at Woody's karaoke night this coming Sunday. It's sure to be another wild night to remember.

Smooches,
Daph

I Said, "No! No! No!"

2008-04-06T08:54:00.004-04:00

(Has anyone seen my bunny, Hasenpfeffer?)

Any of my friends will tell you, if there are two things in life that I can't live without, they are Amy Winehouse and vodka. Therefore, it's really no surprise that I would choose to sing, "Rehab"as my big number for karaoke night at Woody's Tavern. It's practically the Jenkins family theme song!

Bill has a great selection for karaoke, but this was not in his song book. However, he was sweet enough to to take an entire list of requests and download them all for us that night. Apparently, we Jenkins have excellent taste, though, as someone else tried to sing my song. Luckily, Alexis stepped in and informed me of their scheming ways. I put my stilleto heel down and made it clear that if anyone was going to debut "Rehab" at Woody's it was going to be me. Check out the raucous results for yourself:

The documentary style footage is inspired by Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story. If you've never seen this film by avant-garde auteur Todd Haynes, you should really check it out. I never thought I'd be so moved by a film starring barbie dolls. Maybe there's hope for Paris Hilton's career after all.

Stop back soon for the calamitous group number. You'll never think of 80's girl group pop the same way again.

Smooches,
Daph

Tequila Makes Holly's Clothes Fall Off

2008-03-30T09:47:00.005-04:00

(Holly Cost Jenkins sharing an Easter memory with the friendly staff of Woody's Tavern.)

Hey pumpkins! Sorry that it's taken me so long to get this next post up about our Easter escapades. The day after our party, I suffered from a severe hangover...I mean allergy attack. Then I had to get ready for my monthly gig at FuZion Night Club's goth night. It's just been a whirlwind of March madness around here. However, the good news is that I have lots of material to post about; so keep tuned.

Here we have Holly cost Jenkins singing Joe Nichols' "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off":

I had stumbed across the video that my idol, Varla Jean Merman had shot for this country classic. As soon as I heard it, I realized that this is destined to become Holly's theme song. I really think she does it justice.

Next up we have my indelible take of the Jenkins athem: Amy Winehouse's "Rehab". In the meantime, it appears that my ipod has died a sudden and horrifying death. If anyone has any tips on resurrection techniques, let me know stat!

Smooches,
Daph

Superstar: The Ida Claire Story

2008-03-24T17:13:00.008-04:00

(Clockwise from top left: Holly Cost, Bill, Ida Claire, Daphne Ruth and Alexis)

As fate would have it, this year's unusually early Easter brought cold temperatures and snow on the day that we normally celebrate rebirth, spring and cholocate creme filled eggs. Of course, that wasn't about to stop the Jenkins clan from celebrating. We'd been preparing for our Easter Karaoke party for weeks, so we weren't about to let a little wintry precipitation keep us from showing off our new fashions.

Holly Cost, Ida Claire and I jumped in the Pussy Wagon and manuevered between the snowflakes on our way over to Woody's Tavern. Bill and Alexis already had the stage and equipment set up by the time we got there, so we got that party started right away.

For my first number I sang, "There's Gotta Be Something More" by Sugarland. Back when I lived in Hotlanta, we'd see the lead singer, Jennifer Nettles perform all the time: first in Soul Miner's Daughter and then as a solo act. When she joined up with other local musicians to form Sugarland, we all knew they were destined for stardom. It's still a little strange, though, to see such a familiar face on the cover of national magazines and performing at The Grammy's.

Ida Claire's first number was "Rainy Days and Mondays" by the Carpenters. It's clear that her soul wrenching performance is inspired by the Todd Haynes cult classic Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story. It's so heartwarming to see Ida out there raising awareness of women's issues:

Be sure to stop back soon for more tales of our escapes from that evening as well as additional pulse-pounding performance footage.

Smooches,

Daphne

Easter Karaoke

2008-03-20T18:51:00.006-04:00

It's a long-standing tradition with the Jenkins clan to go all out for Easter. The girls always represent at the annual Easter Drag Races in Hotlanta. Heavens knows, you can't keep that Marsha from inspecting every strange basket she comes across. And if Pinkie's eaten one chocolate bunny, she's devoured the whole darn colony.

Since moving to Looseville, I've been a little disappointed at the lack of hoopla surrounding Bunny Day. Well, since Holly Cost, Ida Claire and I had so much fun at the last holiday weekend karaoke extravaganza over at Woody's Tavern, we decided to throw a big old party there this Easter Sunday. The music gets going around 9pm and won't end until we've butchered every genre we can wrap our velvety vocal chords around.

All three of us have frantically been preparing our Easter outfits. We've even rehearsed our numbers this time around. So after you've spent some time at church and with the family, head on over to Woody's and show off your most elegant Easter bonnet.

Who: Holly Cost, Ida Claire and Daphne Ruth Jenkins
What: Easter Drag Karaoke
When: Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 9:00 PM
Where: Woody's Tavern, 208 E Burnett Ave, Louisville, KY 40208

As a special preview, here's a clip of songbird Holly Cost Jenkins singing Aaron Tippin's "There Ain't Nothin Wrong with the Radio.":

That should whet your appetite for the auditory delights we have in store for you this weekend.

Smooches,
Daphne

Pussycat Dolls

2008-03-10T16:27:00.002-04:00

(Chicken sporting some seriously sassy attitude in the Electric Blue Kitty Wig.)

Here's a little something for all you pussy lovers out there. No longer does tabby have to go around with boring old grey or calico colored fur. Like a true Jenkins, your little feline diva can have some fabulous unnaturally colored hair.

The fine foks at Kitty Wigs have assembled a plethora of feline fashion wigs to accomodate your tempermental kitty's every mood. Whether they're a cool cat in the jazzy Electric Blue number shown at the top or a Pink Passion temptress like the photos on the right, you'll find what you need at this revolutionary website.

And that's not all: each wig comes carefully package in it's own stylish hat box. Each package comes complete with a toy mouse to distract your kitty from the blinding flashes of the paparrazi that are sure to ensue when she makes a devastating debut in her sensational new look.

When placing your order, be sure to tell them that Daphne sent you. I'm hoping with enough referrals, I might get a discount for my own little model, Orchid. Special thanks to the amorous Amber for sending this link along.

In the meantime, here's a little Pussy-themed clip that Ida took a few weeks back of my dear friend, Trista Ray, the Broadway Baby:

Trista has since gone one to seize the title for Kentucky Newcomer 2008. To think, I knew her when.

Smooches,
Daph

After Hours

2008-03-07T22:22:00.002-05:00

(Daphne Ruth trying to keep it all together during the wee hours of the morning.)

As promised, here are the final desperate moments from the evening I performed at the zombie-themed party for FuZion Night Club. Naturally, we hung out at the bar for a few cocktails after the show to meet and greet with the audience. After a while, though, I needed a more low-key scene away from the blinding flashes of the paparazzi. So, off to Woody's we stumbled.

The following video was taken there after much alcohol had been guzzled by all parties. Quite fitting on an evening when I performed a little Amy Winehouse, no? In the clip, we take a few loving jabs at our dear sister, Linda Hand Jenkins. I'm sure, she realizes that we only tease here because we love her. After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery:

If you're curious and brave enough to want to see the un-edited version of these escapades, you'll have to do a little search on XTube. I take no responsibility for hardship or injury resulting from hysterical blindness.

Smooches,

Daphne

Back To Black

2008-03-05T21:00:00.001-05:00

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins takes a bite out of one of her own delicious creme pies.)

Anyone who knows me at all won't be surprise to hear that I have a deep obsession with Amy Winehouse. The first time I heard her monster hit, "Rehab", it was like she had peered into my most personal diary entries and turned them into an infectious pop single. Her album, "Back To Black" is easily one of my favorite releases of the current decade. Interestingly, it sounds like a remnant from another time. Winehouse's sound is very white soul Dusty Springfield. However, the lyrics have a rawness that existed in Dusty's personal life, if not in her music.

Certainly, Amy's personal woes get a lot of play in the press. Luckily, the Grammy voters were able to see past the infamy and heaped much-deserved praise on this amazingly talented and admittedly troubled performer. Don't listen to the sour grapes of has-beens like Natalie Cole who scolded the Grammy voters for "rewarding bad behavoir." Sorry sister, they were rewarding the lady's craft. A little bitter that no one is rushing out to cover "Pink Cadillac" are we?

So, for my second number at Fuzion's Zombie Night I decided to attempt the title track off the album. I wanted to do Amy proud, so I went with something a little less camp and a little more high drama. My performance is clearly influenced by Ms. Winehouse's funeral-themed video for "Back To Black". However, I take it to a level of hysteria that Amy typically reserves for her tabloid escapades.

Well, I hope you enjoyed that little change of pace. Next up is the messy conclusion to this series in which Ida Claire, Holly Cost and I head to Woody's for a night cap. In the meantime, check out my home page, Down With Daphne, for a full gallery of hot pics from the night.

Smooches,

Daphne

Daphne's Creme Pie Videos

2008-03-03T10:45:00.001-05:00

(Daphne looking like something that got dredged out of the Ohio River at Zombie Night.)

As most of you already know, FuZion Night Club recently had a zombie-themed goth night. Lord knows, it's not really a challenge for me to look like death warmed over. I gave it my best attempt, though and threw together my signature drowned drag queen look.

Here's a video the ever-helpful Ida Claire took of me getting ready for the show backstage:

For my first number, I resurrected my "Worst Pies In London" routine. Ida and I had just seen the Broadway touring production of Sweeney Todd over at the Kentucky Center. I just couldn't resist the opportunity to force-feed my delectable creme pies to more unsuspecting audience members. Here's the premiere of the full-length video of the performance. Helena Bonham Carter can eat her heart out:

Be sure to stop back soon to see the brand new number that I unveiled that night. It's a big hot mess that I know you'll all enjoy.

Smooches,
Daphne

Happy Birthday, Hooker!

2008-03-01T10:08:00.008-05:00

(The indomitable Linda Hand Jenkins gets another year lovelier today.)

I just wanted to send out a heartfelt birthday best wishes to my dear sister Linda Hand Jenkins today. It seems like just yesterday that I met her in the hot tub at the luxurious River's Edge Resort. Who knew that fateful night when I nick-named her "pivot" that we were embarking on a friendship that would traverse the many trials and tribulations of our sordid lives. Throughout the weddings and divorces; the births and deaths; the murder attempts and incarcerations; we have always been there for each other in one way or another. At least one of us typically remembers what happened the night before so that we can get our stories straight for the authorities.

It's amazing to see how far we've come over the years. I like to think back to the early days when Linda was just a simple girl with a dream of becoming a hand model. Little did she know how many hand jobs were in her starry future. Why just look how she's grown! She's a former Miss Central Station and a certified celebrity in Charlotte, North Crazyland.

As much as times change, some things always stay the same. Linda still knows how to throw down like a rock star. And I'll always be there to pick her back up and drag her to the next party destination.

Smooches,

Daphne

We Are Family - Jenkins Style

2008-02-28T20:59:00.005-05:00

(Holly Cost, Daphne Ruth and Ida Claire prepare to release their greatest hits on an unsuspecting population.)

As promised, here is the calamitous conclusion of the President's Day Weekend series of videos from Woody's karaoke night. This time up, we have all three ladies upholding the Jenkins tradition of butchering...I mean interpreting..."We Are Family" by Sister Sledge. I'm sure you'll be just shocked to hear that absolutely no rehearsal occured before this truly astonishing performance:

As is typical for rockstars like us, the night did not end there. The next stop was that culinary capital itself, Juanita's. The lovely Lacey was hunkering for a snack, so the Jenkins girls were kind enough to escort her over. While there, they simply could not resist the opportunity for a photo shoot. Why notta? Be sure to check out my website, Down With Daphne, for a complete photo gallery from the night. That Ida, she's not too big a star to help out in the kitchen!

The Jenkins are known for their refined palates (as well as their over-worked livers). Therefore, we decided to settle on something a little more upscale for our dining pleasure. Yes darlings, it was off to White Castle for us. Naturally, the crowd at Whitey's was somewhat unprepared to be in the presence of performers of our caliber. We caused quite a stir. But in the end, I think the rest of the diners realized we were regular folk just like them....except with style and talent.

Be sure to check back in shortly for the next series of videos recorded during Zombie night at FuZion Night Club. It's going to be a scream!

Smooches,
Daphne

Ida's Landslide

2008-02-26T18:04:00.005-05:00

(Daphne helping Ida Claire work out those pre-performance jitters.)

Who would have guessed that southern belle, Miss Ida Claire, would turn out to be such a rock star upon hitting the stage? Ida channeled Stevie Nicks for Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide", her first number during the President's Day Weekend karaoke extravaganza at Woody's. As you can see from the pic on the right, gurl knows how to work the mic.

Check out her performance for yourself in this third installment of the series:

It's truly a shame that we ran out of room on my Flip video recorder because Ida's second number was a revelation as well. She tore into "Strange Fruit" with such conviction that I could swear we were in the presence of Billie Holiday herself. More than one patron got a little nervous as Ida threatened "Kill whitey!" at the conclusion of her set.

Be sure to drop back in soon for the fierce finale of this series as the ladies attempt a gargantuan group number that you won't easily forget (no matter how hard you try).

Smooches,

Daphne

Female Trouble

2008-02-24T10:10:00.004-05:00

(Music lover, Daphne Ruth, feelin' the juke box at Juanita's.)

Without further ado, here's the second part in our series of videos from Woody's karaoke night on President's Day Weekend. This time yours truly is up with "Trouble", one of my favorite numbers from Pink. I've actually always wanted to do this fun rocker as part of a standard lip-synch drag show. I dare say that singing it at karaoke may have been an even friskier way of satisfying that urge.

So, without further ado, here is my YouTube live vocal debut:

Maybe I won't be winning a Grammy anytime soon, but I sure did have fun. On the other hand, if a booger mess like Amy Winehouse can walk away with a wheelbarrow full of Grammy's, perhaps there is hope for a simple girl with a dream like myself.

It looks like Holly Cost Jenkins will be carrying the banner for the Jenkins clan tonight. She plans to be at Woody's karaoke this very evening. So, come on out and see this dynamo in action for yourself.

Stop back in a few days to catch the next installment featuring the sassy song stylings of Miss Ida Claire.

Smooches,

Daphne

Holly's Dance With The Devil

2008-02-22T21:01:00.002-05:00

(Holly Cost Jenkins working the mic at Woody's karaoke night.)

Since Monday was President's Day and none of us had to work, Holly Cost, Ida Claire and I decided to head on down to Woody's this past Sunday to partake in their festive karaoke night. It's not really a suprise therefore, that we were the absolute life of the party. We each did a series of solos and even dazzled the crowd with a show-stopping group number.

First up is Holly Cost showing she's more than a little bit country by belting out "If The Devil Danced (In Empty Pockets)" by Joe Diffie.

This queen doesn't need to lip-synch with such a lovely voice. Next up will be my YouTube singing debut. Stay tuned and get the ear plugs ready.

Also, don't forget that I'll be appearing at FuZion Nightclub tomorrow evening. I have a brand new number planned that you don't want to miss.

Smooches,
Daph

Zombie Attack

2008-02-20T20:34:00.002-05:00

February is certainly turning into a busy month for your fearless drag correspondent. I've barely recovered from the horrendous hangover from the long President's Day weekend and now I'm preparing for the next goth night over at FuZion Night Club. It's a zombie theme this month, so there should be plenty of ghoulish delights on hand. As an added bonus, Ida Claire and Holly Cost Jenkins are planning to be in attendance to cheer me on. Here are the details:

Hosted By: Shawna the Dead
When: Saturday February 23, 2008 at 10:00 PM (Showtime is 11:00 PM)
Where: Fuzion, 1335 Story Avenue, Louisville, Kentucky 40202
Fine Print: 18+ $15br /21+ $5br /DJ Coppertop /DJ Count Grozny /DJ Kaleidoscope

Hope to see you all there!

Also, stay tuned for the next series of videos chronicling our adventures at Woody's karaoke night. Trust me, it's an earful.

Smooches,
Daph

Purgatory Party 4 - Rock Bottom

2008-02-18T11:01:00.005-05:00

(Linda Hand Jenkins rising from her crypt.)

As is typically the case with the Jenkins clan, our night of misadventures ended in mishap and mayhem. The lovely Linda Hand Jenkins collapsed several times trying to traverse her way from the cab to her elegant hacienda. The poor dear claims she was suffering from exhaustion. Luckily, there was plenty of alcohol on hand to anesthetize the wound.

Holly Cost Jenkins wasn't much help during this emergency. However, she did pull her own formidable weight by cooking up delightful delicacies when we all crashed back at home base. Girl certainly knows her way around a kitchen.

Check our the fourth and final installment to see how the night came to its crashing conclusion:

Naturally, both Linda and Holly passed out...I mean, went to sleep with their full faces on. This resulted in our very own Jenkins miracle: the shroud of Holly. Queens from around the globe are making pilgrimages as we speak to witness the spectacle of this 8th wonder of the world.

I hope you enjoyed this little tour through our fabulous night out in Charlotte, North Crazyland. Stop back soon to catch our next series of films detailing the Jenkins family musical revue at Woody's karaoke night.

Smooches,

Daphne

Purgatory Party 3 - The Descent

2008-02-16T19:44:00.002-05:00

(Daphne Ruth acts up as Ida looks on in disapproval.)

Things got ugly the night of the Purgatory Party as the night crawled on. Holly Cost learned a lesson that Linda had to be taught many times in the past: don't drag on an empty stomache. Yes gurl, she got so wrapped up in the preparations for the evening that she failed to fill that delicate belly before hitting the town. It only took a couple of adult beverages to send Holly reeling on those formidable heels. Honey, Holly went down faster than Linda in a men's locker room.

Here's the raucous third installment of our tale:

Note how helpful Ida tries to be during this emergency. If posing and showing off one's cleavage were a virtue, Ida Claire would be the Mother Therese of the Jenkins clan.

Be sure to pop back in soon for the earth-shattering conclusion of this odyssey. I promise you, things go from bad to worse!

Smooches,

Daphne

Purgatory Party 2 - The Madness Continues

2008-02-14T21:38:00.002-05:00

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins sending you a little Valentine's Day attitude from Central Station.)

Well, it's no big surprise that the Jenkins clan had an absolute blast at the Leather and Lace-themed Purgatory Party. As always, it was the perfect place to people watch as all the hot little guys and gals were decked out in their wildest fetish attire.

Naturally, we were welcomed with open arms and adoration at the festivities. We gladly endured a constant barrage of requests for pictures and congenial chit chat. One of my favorite exchanges involved a hot boy named Tristan who looked like he had stepped out of Mad Max. This little stud muffin asked if he could touch my crimson mohawk. Honey, he could have touched whatever he wanted!

As much fun as we were having at the party, we simply couldn't justify denying the rest of Charlotte a gander at our glamor. So, with due haste, we headed out to Chaser's. You can see from the pic at the right that Linda is all about supporting our brothers and sisters in the performing arts.

After that visceral excitement, we scooted over to Central Station for a more low-key environment. After all, Linda Hand is the former Miss Central Station and Anna Stezia is the reigning queen. We surely would not have been forgiven had we failed to make an appearance.

And that's where the next installment of our epic tale pics up:

That Anna Stezia nostril cam is something else, isn't it! Have no fear, there are several more adventures before this tumultous tale wraps up. Stop back in a few days and see where fate leads the Jenkins clan on this fateful night.

Smooches,

Daphne

Purgatory Party - Part 1

2008-02-12T18:58:00.000-05:00

(Daphne, Linda, Ida and Holly getting their anti-Valentine's Day groove on.)

This past weekend, I hit the road with Ida Claire and Holly Cost to visit our dear sisters Linda Hand and Anna Stezia Jenkins over in Charlotte, North Crazyland. Saturday night was the Leather and Lace-themed Purgatory Party that we'd been preparing for diligently these past few weeks.

Well, all of our hard work paid off as you can see from our outrageous glamour shots. We even decided to film a series of videos over the course of the evening that I will post on this site as well as on DirectDaphne over the next couple of days.

Here's episode one:

Be sure to tune back in for subsequent installments as the vignettes get stranger as the hours march on. In the meantime, feast your eyes on some of the hot pics that I've posted over on Down with Daphne.

Smooches,

Daphne

Times Is Hard

2008-01-20T21:08:00.000-05:00

(Shawna the Dead, Daphne and the Luscious Lane working the pedastal at FuZion Night Club.)

Seems like it took me months to recover from the raucous Halloween visit of my lovely sisters from Charlotte, North Crazyland: Linda Hand and Anna Stesia Jenkins. Between that and my Holiday trip to NYC with the Luscious Lane, I wasn't sure when I'd get around to performing again. Well, have no fear. This past weekend, I made my triumphant return to Club ConFuZion.

This was my first oppurtunity to get ready for a show at the gorgeous vanity that the Luscious Lane refinished for me. It's about time I didn't have to use the restroom at the nearby Quick Trip to prepare for the night's festivities.

The temperature outside my have been in the single digits, but it was hot, hot, hot in FuZion Night Club. I got the crowd warmed up with my "Peek-A-Boo" number. However, this time I vamped it up in a tiny nightie with eerie eyeballs all over my body.

Later, I brought the house down with "The Worst Pies In London" from the new Sweeney Todd film. Apparently, I guessed right that the goth crowd would be all about Tim Burton's latest masterpiece. They went wild as I force-fed my fetid delights to Hottie Hennessy and Randy Raj.

For those of you who missed the number, Lane managed to grab a snippet of it on video which I've posted over at YouTube:

I have a couple of other tidbits on display on my YouTube channel, DirectDaphne, so be sure to poke around. Also, I've got lots more pics from the night posted in the photo gallery of my website, Down with Daphne.

Smooches,
Daph

I'm Baaaaaaack!

2008-01-17T21:01:00.000-05:00

(Daphne and George showing what they think of the current candidates.)

Hey hotties,

Just wanted to let you all know that I am still alive and kicking. I took a little time off to enjoy the holidays. However, I'm back and raring to go. In fact, I'll be appearing at FuZion Night Club Saturday for a special edition of Club ConFuZion. Here are the details:

Hosted By: Shawna the Dead
When: Saturday Jan 19, 2008 at 10:00 PM (Showtime is 11:30 PM)
Where: Fuzion, 1335 Story Avenue, Louisville, Kentucky 40202

18+ $15br /21+ $5br /DJ Jeremy Songerbr /DJ Count Groznybr /DJ Reaverbr /DJ Copper Topbr /and set by DJ Brian from Indybr /Goth go-go boys and girlsbr /Piercings and giveaways
Hope to see you all there!

Smooches,

Daphne

Loose Harlots Approach Kentucky!

2007-10-25T21:26:00.000-04:00

(The infamous Linda Hand Jenkins and reigning Miss Central Station, Bo Lima Jenkins, prepare for the kill.)

I just received this special bulletin from special agent Glendella down in Savannah, Georgia:

ALERT..............

WARNING....North Carolina SLUTS are about to invade Louiseville, KY... Be prepared as they are very cunning and when intoxicated could be vicious. Keep small children, pets, and especially hot good looking well hung men AWAY FROM THEM. We here at the Burea of Slut Protection highly advise you to take all necessary measures including: Hide all liquors, good make-up and cosmetics including expensive perfumes, erotic clothing, fierce shoes, loose change, steaks in the freezer, and dildos bigger than 15 inches.
YOU HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED

The Burea ( BOSP) assumes no liabilty for damages after receipt of this notice.

That's right folks, Linda Hand and Bo Lima Jenkins have packed their bags and are on their way to Looseville as I post this very message. They promise to cause untold mayhem and havoc over the coming weekend. Don't let their unnaturally colored hair, wild makeup and flashy fashions distract you from their sinister intent. The following image is not for the faint of heart, but it's important that the masses be informed of their true nature:

Whew! Hearty thanks go out to Glendella for this very important advisory. Emergency updates will follow as required.

Smooches,

Daph

Marsha's 80's Prom

2007-10-21T10:37:00.000-04:00

(Marsha, Heava Beava, Yolanda and Miss Glover looking respendant in their formal wear.)

This is just a quick post to let you all know that last weekend, the Jenkins clan descended upon the lavish destination known as The River's Edge Campground and threw one of their infamous parties that will be talked about for years to come: The Marsha 80's Prom. I don't know that I've ever seen Swirl and Peggy Sue looking so ghoulishyly gorgeous!

Unfortunatley, I was unable to cut my resort stay short so I had to miss this sensational soiree. However, I've drooled over the photos so often that if I take just the right mixture of vicodin and vodka I can almost convince myself I was there.

Natually, only the finest entertainment was provided. Here you can see some awe-inspiring shots of Marsha and Momma Dale rockin' out. Who needs Kelly and Britney when you have these hot blooded pop stars in your midst?

I have to say that Miss Pinkie Devine Jenkins really outdid herself for the event. She was looking even more gorgeous and loose than usual. Here she is returning to the scene of the crime. Yes, that is the very same kitchen where Pinkie was caught in a compromising position during the Miss Beaver Creek Grey Water Trailer Park Princess Pageant. What a surprise to see her again canoodling with a big hunk of a man behind that kitchen counter. I guess it's really true what they say, you can't teach an old whore new tricks!

You can however, tell her to clean that dirty p#ssy! Here she is after all those mis-adventures soaking in the hot tub with Momma Dale. What a couple of bathing beauties. Let's hope there was plenty of chlorine in that water!

Clearly this was the social event of the season. See for yourself; there's a gorgeous gallery over on Kodakgallery and another on the Drag-O-Rama Flickr site. The pics I've posted here only hint at the glamour and carnage that you'll witness.

Smooches,

Daphne

The Magnificent Marquise

2007-10-15T17:16:00.000-04:00

(The multi-talented Marquise doing her best Marilyn impression.)

I was recently doing my usual 2am drunk surfing on the web routine when I stumbled upon the most delightful surprise over on YouTube. I came across a charming Canadian queen by the name of Marquise who immediately struck me as a long-lost relative of the Jenkins clan. After watching a few of her videos, I simply had to send her some love. We hit it off instantly. I simply had to share this latest discovery with my friends and fans.

Daphne: Marquise, you're just fabulous gurl! Where have you been hiding? I know everyone out there is dying to know where you hang your hat.

Marquise: I perform in several clubs in Montreal and a few places that would surprise you! I began performing at Cabaret Mado which is Montreal's most reputable drag bar, owned by none other than Mado herself. I also perform at Skye Club on occassion; this year I'm running for Miss Skye 2007... I hope to end world hunger and cure metrosexuality! *Laughs* However, the real joy for me is performing in places other than "gay bars." I find there's a certain thrill to doing a drag number in front of a bunch of straight men... What can i say, I live dangerously. That being said, in the summer I host a Karaoke night at a local bar called "Clydes." Its as much of a dive as its name leads you to believe!

Daphne: Straight guys...dive bars...you are an honorary Jenkins. Damn, you sound like one busy betch! How did your illustrious drag career get started?

Marquise: I've been doing drag since I was 16 years old... Well in all honesty, I've been doing drag since I was three years old. Wasn't getting paid for it then! I used to put on my best friend's princes dress and run around the neighborhood as various fairytale characters. Now I mostly run around the village chasing fairies' tails! *Sighs at his own terrible pun.* There's also this adorable picture of me at the age of three with my aunts fur boa and WAY to much blush! I look more and more like her everyday!

Daph: Well, clearly you were born to be a diva. What gets your juices flowing in order to motivate you to keep bringing it time after time for your fans?

Marquise: Inspiration comes to me from every direction, and I mean that quite literally! In order to come up with an idea or a number I pull from all sorts of different mediums: movies, books, videogames, television, celebrities, music... Often, I'll emulate a character and ask myself, what would she be like if she were a drag queen? My main character, Marquise, is a compilation of my favourite female heroines... Most notably are Marie-Antoinette and Becky Sharp from William Makepeace Thackery's Vanity Fair. But as you've witnessed in my video's I also do a lot with disney movies! Nothing like corrupting the innocent! Currently I'm working on a number/look inspired by the video game series Kingdom Hearts. I must confess, this look is for a very special boy. Who knows, maybe it will make the tabloids!

Daph: Ooooh, I love a little dirty laundry. We'll have to continue that conversation off-line. For now, let's take a quick break and watch one of your videos. This one is absolutely pee-inducing!

Daph: Honey, I just love that number. Pure genuis! And the fact that you're doing your own vocals is fierce. Okay, let's get down to the nitty gritty. Tell me about your pet peeves.

Marquise: Pet peeves? Hmmmmm! I hate short boys! I wish I was short! People are always saying crap like: Wow! Your so tall! Yeah, thanks I know! I'm 6'4" btw! I wish I was shorter. When I wear my platform heels I look like a spice girl that could kick your fucking ass! Excuse me unlady-like language, I was raised by sailors! I also hate people who aren't punctual, and shoe sizes that only go up to 10! What the hell is that? Oh, and Nicholas Cage... he disgusts me!!

Daph: One of the things that I love about you is that you have a decidedly Jenkins flair to your appearance. However, you always make it work for you and come off as radiantly beautiful. Any essential beauty tips for the gals out there?

Marquise: My essential beauty tip? *Laughs hysterically* I have so much knowledge to impart to this world... its hard to pick just one! So I'll try and do a 2 for one! Lighting and angles. Girls, avoid overhead lighting like the plague, and if ever the paparazzi try and shoot you making out with Kevin Federline, make sure they don't take the pic looking up at your chin. Otherwise you'll look like Kirstie Ally before she met Jenny!

Daph: Words to live by! Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions, lovely lady. And I hope all my readers out there take a few minutes to go over to YouTube to discover the myriad of other fabulous videos Marquise has posted. Don't forget to drop the little lady a love note when you do.

Smooches,
Daph

On Your Knees

2007-10-02T17:44:00.000-04:00

(Shawna The Dead getting ready to take a bite out of Daphne.)

The kind folks at FuZion Night Club invited me back again this past Saturday to torment their patrons with more of my demented numbers. And to think, it's not even Halloween yet! As a special treat, Manitee Goldburger offered to paint my face for the night. I was a little concerned that she might not give me that bold look that my fans are accustomed to. As you can see from the pics, though, Manitee certainly knows how to set the spackle gun to whore with the best of them.

For my first number of the evening, I decided to mix things up a bit by pulling out my old Scissor Sisters' "Filthy/Gorgeous" routine. I'm all about a feel-good-tranny-hooker anthem. I was certainly feeling the hot groove of the song despite suffering from a miserable hangover. Just once I'd like to wake up the day of a show without a splitting headache. Oh yeah, I could drink less!

For my second number, I premiered a fierce little Groovasaurus song called, "On Your Knees". They're an old Boston band that I used to absolutely adore/stalk back when I lived there. The lead singer, Anita, has this killer voice that literally stops you in your tracks. I've always wanted to work one of their songs into a routine and this was my wish come true. It was a real thrill getting back into my leather and ordering those hot little goth boys to submit to the will of Daphne!

Of course, the show was not just all about me. I shared the stage with the fierce Nevaeh for the first time. Sister girl is sweet, thin, gorgeous and disgustingly talented. I hate her. Just kidding! Really, this girl can dance.

Uhura really outdid herself this week. She had the nerve to perform a c#m bucket number that included an actual pale filled with a creamy white substance that both she and the audience guzzled down. What a whore! Loved it!

As usual, the night did not end with the show. The Luscious Lane whisked me away to the elegant environs of Woody's for a little post performance revelry. Here you can see him showing me his pinball wizard moves. Of course that's nothing compared to the tricks I showed him when we got home. But that story's not fit for publication.

What is fit for publication, though, are all the hot pics that were taken that night. Be sure to drop by my homepage, Down with Daphne, to drool over all the hot action.

Well, it looks like I have a few weeks off to prepare for Halloween. The lovely Linda Hand Jenkins and the newly crowned Miss Central Station, Bo Lima Jenkins, are coming to Looseville. This town may never be the same.

Smooches,

Daphne

Support The Walk

2007-09-24T22:03:00.001-04:00

(The demure Daphne Ruth Jenkins gets a hand from the dread pirate Lane.)

Who knew doing the right thing could be so much fun? I performed at the special Louisville AIDS Walk Benefit edition of Club ConFuzion this past Saturday. The show raised money for a good cause and was an absolute blast.

In honor of the occasion, I unveiled two brand new numbers. My first shocker was my very own mix of The Eurythmics' "Love Is A Stranger" and Peaches' "F#ck The Pain Away". The crowd, made up of a surprisingly large number of lovely lesbeans, was clearly feeling no paid as they rocked out to my revelries. I got so into it, that I bruised my knees at the end of the number as I gyrated in front of the Luscious Lane.

I was busy between sets getting ready, so I didn't get to see too many of my fellow performers do their thing. However, I did catch one of Manitee Goldburger's filthy acts. Dressed as a nun, she horrified the crowd with a wildly inappropriate version of The Divinyls' "I Touch Myself". She performed most of the number with all her naughty girl parts exposed. It was in extremely poor taste and highly inconsiderate of the beliefs and feelings of others. Needless to say, I absolute LOVED it!

For my next routine I tried out a song by one of my favorite artists of all time: PJ Harvey. I tackled her "Down By The Water" looking like I had just been dredged up from the bottom of the river. My dress was wet and torn and aquatic life was stuck in my hair and clothing. I ended the number by dragging my lovely "daughter" Melody into the dressing room. She was so delighted to be backstage where all the action takes place that I could barely force her back out to the audience.

The climax of the show involved a very elaborate group number centering around the classic Bonnie Tyler tune, "Total Eclipse of The Heart". That was the first single I ever bought! And the interesting thing is that the rest of the performers probably weren't even born when it was released. I'm so old! Shawna The Dead organized the number and it included an all-star cast: Trista Ray, The Broadway Baby; Greg and Jerison; and Mistress Makari. Any time Greg and Jerison want to "collaborate", I'm there!

The show went off without a hitch and raised a lot of funds as well as awareness of an important issue. Of course, one of the best parts about participating in an event like this is partying with the crowd afterward. Here I am showing one of my biggest fans, Joey, my appreciation for all his support. Of course, I had to spread the love around as you can see here with Raj. You hate for the public to think you're stuck up. As usual, I have lots more pics from the night up at my website, Down With Daphne.

If you missed the show, have no fear: it's not too late. The Louisville AIDS Walk is this Sunday, September 30, 2007. Visit the website to find out how you can do your part.

Also, you can catch me at FuZion Night Club for Club ConFuzion this Saturday at 11:30pm. I'll be whipping out a brand new number and dusting off one that I haven't done since my heyday back in Hotlanta. Hope to see you there!

Smooches,

Daph

Daph Gone Wild

2007-09-16T20:14:00.000-04:00

(Daphne, Taffy and Christina before it all went horribly wrong.)

This past Saturday was the classy Christina's birthday. Since we were planning to hit the Infection anyway, I thought it would be a great idea to hand out flyers for the upcoming benefit show at FuZion Night Club.

It was the perfect night for it since it seems like everyone was out partying. My lovely sister Candy Pants Jenkins from Chicago was in town for a little fun. Cutie Pie Casey got the hell out of Lexington for the night and was hanging with Hobes and Kassafras. Study puppy Michael had put Austin to bed and was prowling the bar like a wild cat. Gerome could be found in the showroom; but let's be honest, when isn't that young whippersnapper out partying like a Disney rock star?

However, something went very wrong as the evening progressed. Yup, you guessed it: I got sh!t-faced drunk. I think that I may have handed out a total of 6 flyers. And 3 of them were given to the same person, right Scott?

Well, at least I had a REAL good time partying with Bri-Bri and Luscious Lane. By the way, that's my makeup all over their faces; no need to call the narcotics division of the Looseville police. These pictures here only hint at the debauchery that ensued. Head over to my homepage, Down With Daphne, to witness all the horror first-hand.

So, in lieu of actually handing out the flyers, here's an electronic version for my blog. Hope to see you all there. I promise not to get tore up until after I perform.

Smooches,

Daph

On The Air

2007-09-12T10:35:00.000-04:00

(A classic shot of those hairy betches in the Jenkins clan.)

You simply must pop over to the Drag-O-Drama site to hear their latest podcast. After more than a year away, I’ve made my calamitous return to the world of podcasting. The fact is that the girls of Drag-O-Rama had done a wonderful job of finding their groove without my Capricorn ass there to keep them in line. However, there is an undeniable chemistry when we’re all together. It’s like an even bitchier version of The View with absolutely no relevant content.

It really was a blast to dish with Pinkie, Marsha and Momma Dale again after all this time. Besides, I had to be there to stop the slanderous comments that they were making about me in my absence. Oh well, at least they were talking about me. I always say, bad press is better than no press (right Britney?). However, the title of their last podcast, Daphne Can Go To Hell, took things a little too far.

I’m certain you’ll agree that this is the start of a golden age of podcasting. So, start listening so you can say that you were there when it all happened.

Smooches,
Daphne

Club ConFuzion

2007-09-10T10:29:00.000-04:00

(Trista Ray and Daphne Ruth Jenkins snacking on some Manitee Goldburger.)

Damn, I’ve been a lazy lush. It’s been weeks since my fabulous Goth night debut at FuZion Night Club and I’m just now getting around to writing about it. I have a whole album of pics over at Flickr, but I'm sure you all want the dirty details. Well, needless to say, it was a smashing success. The crowd seemed to absolutely adore my dark and demented side. It was an absolute blast being able to play up my demented tendencies instead of trying to tame them for a more mainstream audience.

The luscious Lane was kind enough to escort me for the evening. He looked resplendent (as always) in a lovely black chapeau and veil. Upon arrival, we were greeted by the sexy organizer of Club ConFuzion, Shawna the Dead. Shawna is one of my sweetest promoters and an absolute living dead doll.

The hostess and emcee, Manitee Goldburger, proved to be a rioutous performer. Her version of “My Humps” complete with a huge hunch back brought the house down. I also really enjoyed her Tourette’s Ballad peppered with random expletives.

Trista Ray, the Broadway Baby, was the other performer of the night. She got sloshed to one of my favorite Broadway tunes, “The Ladies Who Lunch”. The chorus of “I’ll drink to that,” is practically my motto. Her other number was appropriately enough from Evil Dead: The Musical.

I opened with a brand new number, “Peek-a-Boo” by Siouxsie and The Banshees. Let’s face facts; it’s been many years since my Goth kid days at ManRay in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Rather than figure out what the darklings are listening to these days, I figured it would be safer to just delve into the ancient past of my youth for a classic tune. It paid off because the crowd couldn't get enough of my tradmark peepers.

For my second number, I pulled out my “I Don’t Wanna Fall In Love” routine that Shawna loves so much. It really is a crowd pleaser. I mixed things up this time around, though. For example, I spent part of the song humping Michael’s face. He sure does have a pretty mouth! I also spent more time in rehearsal practicing undoing my bustier. I didn’t have to struggle so much this time to whip my chest out at the end of the song.

As usual, the evening's festivities did not end there. We all ended up at Michael and Austin's den of iniquity for a little post-show nightcap. Never one to stay out of the spotlight, Austin treated us to a little preview of some of the fashions he had planning for his trip to Burning Man. Cowboy, take me away!

It really was a wonderful evening. The best part is that it’s all gonna happen again. The big news is that Club ConFuzion is moving to Saturday nights starting September 22 and every week thereafter. I’ve been asked to return for a special kick-off production that will include Louisville’s own

Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Mark your calendars and I’ll be sure to post more information as it becomes available.

Smooches,
Daphne

Goth Night at FuZion

2007-08-12T12:09:00.001-04:00

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins scaring away the audience at FuZion.)

Believe it or not, sweet innocent old me has been asked to perform at FuZion for their monthly goth night. The delightfully dreadful Shawna The Dead was so impressed by my dark faerie routine last month that he invited me back to spread more darkness this coming Friday. I've put together a brand new psychotic number that's sure to put the crowd under my spell. Be there or I'll hunt you down!

When - Friday, August 17, at 11:00 pm

Where - FuZion Night Club

Who - Daphne Ruth Jenkins

Smooches,

Daph

DeluZion Debut

2007-07-08T21:47:00.000-04:00

(Taffy Shalamar and Daphne Ruth Jenkins hangin' with the boiz at FuZion.)

Well it had to happen sooner or later. The call of the spotlight finally lured me out of my hibernation here in Looseville, Kentucky. The ethereal Adaysha Skye asked me to join Dementia and the cast of DeluZion for a special pre-4th of July performance show at FuZion Night Club.

Taffy and I got there nice and early to set up and relax with a few adult beverages before the show started. Good thing we did too, because the poor go go boys were just starved for attention. Don't you fear though, they had their hands full with Taffy.

Always one to support the arts, I naturally had to do my part as well to donate to the cause. Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to find any hot water to go with the "tea bag" I received. And let me tell you, those boys were talented. They really gave it their all for their art. I swear, Twinkelleta here made more costume changes than the drag queens.

Well, it was eventually my turn to work the crowd. For my first number, I pulled out my Lolita/slutty Catholic school girl look and worked the hell out of Morningwood's "Babysitter". I've been just aching to perform that song for the past year and was thrilled to finally do it up right. At one point, I even grabbed a baby out of the audience from Taffy and proceed to toss it into the crowd. I also had a naughty little bit where I pulled a rattle out of my panties and gave it to Luscious Lane as he tried to tip me. Good times, good times!

For my second number, I dressed as an androgynous dark faerie and performed to "I Don't Wanna Fall In Love" by She Wants Revenge. It's been a really long time since I did a song with a male vocalist. I got to threaten the audience with my flogger and even gave Taffy a little spanking at one point. Is there anything that girl won't do?

At the height of the number, I pulled my bustier off, revealing my coal black nipples. I then dropped to the floor and started banging on the stage with my hands to the beat of the song. Apparently, I did this so hard it was louder than the song and made the crowd jump. I'm glad it had an effect, because my hands were bruised the next day from the effort.

Apparently, the song did make an impression, because Shawna The Dead asked me later than evening if I'd be interested in coming back and performing during goth night. Hell yeah, those goth boys are adorable!

The best part of the night was realizing just how many wonderful friends had come out to see me perform. Robert and Raj were the first to arrive (although Raj had to run home as he had forgotten his ID). Oh to be so youthful looking! Scott got there next and was immediately escorted to the VIP section. While I was getting ready backstage the rest of the gang filed in. Michael and Austin were there attracting the paparazzi. Brian and Craig came out of hibernation and brought Dana and Dave along for the ride. Heck, even Peppa Roni and Randi Rotted Ho made an appearance!

Well, the festivities didn't stop there. I had worked up quite an appetite during my performances, so the Luscious Lane offered to bring me out for a late night bite. We ended up at Cahoots, a straight bohemian bar in the Highlands that serves food until 3 am. I don't think the patrons there had ever seen someone with quite as much style before. They seemed rather alarmed and standoffish at first. However, they did eventually warm up to me and several even came over and introduced themselves in between courses of stuffed jalapenos and fried fish sandwiches.

On our way out, Lane stopped in the men's room and was confronted by one of the other partons. "You know that's not a real woman, right?" Billy Bob asked Lane. Of course I'm not a real woman; I'm a showgirl! He then asked Lane what he was going to do with me to which Lane responded, "I'm going to take the lady home." "You need any help with that?" Billy Bob offered as Lane backed cautiously out of the men's room. "No, I think I've got it covered," he answered. Naturally, I've been back to Cahoots every night this week.

Well, I'm thrilled that my Looseville debut was a smashing success and I'm so looking forward to my next opportunity to get on the stage. I'll keep y'all posted if anything comes of this goth night gig.

Smooches,

Daph

DeluZion at FuZion

2007-06-28T20:51:00.000-04:00

(Taffy Shalamar and Daphne Ruth Jenkins enjoying a quiet moment outside of the spotlight.)

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Yup, I've finally gotten off my lazy and deeply intoxicated ass and landed myself a gig here in Looseville, Kentucky. This coming Tuesday, July 3, I will be making my Looseville debut as part of the DeluZion with Dementia show at FuZion.

As I've mentioned in recent posts, this club is the up-and-cumming hot spot in the city. I always have a twisted time when I'm there. I hear that the night of the show they're going to be serving $1 wells. Excellent! The crowd will be good and liquored up so I won't have to work as hard.

I have to admit that I'm really excited about performing again. When the lovely Adaysha Skye called to invite me to to be their special guest that evening, she mentioned that they're looking for the show to be very cutting edge. Girl, I'm used to having to tone my work down for a mainstream audience. These betches want me to amp it up!

So, if you're in town, be sure to come out and support me at my coming out party. You don't have to work the next day, so you have no excuses.

When - Tuesday, July 3, at 11:30 pm
Where - FuZion Night Club
Who - Daphne Ruth Jenkins and the cast of DeluZion

Smooches,
Daph

Looseville Pride

2007-06-20T16:58:00.000-04:00

(Taffy Shalamar and Daphne Ruth Jenkins sharing a proud moment at The Connection.)

This past weekend was Looseville Gay Pride. I missed the festivities last year as I was in Hotlanta for the Possums Benefit Show. So, this time around I decided to officially lose my Looseville Pride virginity. It was absolutely heart-warming the way all the locals were so eager to help me with that goal.

These Kentucky queers don't mess around: they started things off right away with a parade on Friday night. There were local businesses, musicians and (naturally) drag queens. Here's the crew from my latest favorite hot spot, FuZion. As you can see, the place is full of tweaky twinks and deranged divas. Sheer heaven!

After the parade, everyone filed over to an outdoor festival at the Belvedere. They had a stage featuring lesbians with guitars (of course). One could also partake of the hand-dipped corn dogs and fine American beer products at all the vendor booths. Besides these gastronomical delights, one could also do a little prideful shopping. Luscious Lane here is sporting some absolutely fabulous $5 sunglasses that he picked up at one of the booths. Poor Dannyboy had to fight off all the confused papparazi who mistook Lane for Sir Elton John. The glamorous life, indeed.

As full of pride and cheap beer as we were, a group of us headed over to FuZion later that night and caught the drag show. I knew I was in the right place when one of the queens did Ms. Beehavin's "Bottle Action". I don't fight, I don't argue, I just hit that bitch with a bottle! My favorite number of the night though, involved a diva being sodomized by Pinochio's nose. I kid you not! This is some crazy, cutting-edge drag.

The following night, Taffy Shalamar and I decided to join forces and terrorize the town together. We got ourselves painted-up, liquored-up and headed over to The Infection. I went with my Cher from outer space look. Taffy in the meantime came directly from a funeral. Here we are taking turns with cutie-pie Casey. He seemed a little tentative at first. Poor dear must have been overwhelmed by my unimaginable beauty. He loosened up pretty quickly, though, as you can see here with Taffy. Hmmm, must have been that rufie I slipped in his drink.

Another year, another 365 days to be proud of who I am (if not of all the tawdry things that I do). As we go into this month, I know a lot of other cities such as Hotlanta have Pride celebrations coming up. I wish you all a raucous good time. Take lots of pics and send me the naughty ones.

Smooches,

Daph

River's Edge Revelries

2007-06-17T19:37:00.000-04:00

(Marsha B. Jenkins and her kissing cousin, Sheila Watkins.)

This past Memorial Day, I made a very special trip back to Georgia in order to spend the weekend with a veritable orgy of friends at the River's Edge Campground of scenic Dewey Rose.

In a strange coincidence, I ran into Cindy Jenkins at the Atlanta Hartsfield Airport on her way to visit Candy Pants Jenkins in Chicago. Clearly this was an early omen that it was going to be a fun-filled family-themed weekend.

The festivities started out with an absolute bang on Friday night with a show featuring my dear sister, Marsha B. Jenkins. The revue was nothing short of spectacular. Marsha's first number was the new wave classic, "Don't Go" by Yaz. And that's exactly what we were all screaming as she wrapped up her first crowd-pleaser.

There were many other wonderful performers that night as well. I had the great pleasure of meeting Catherine B. Styles for the first time. Talk about an absolute ray of sunshine and glitter! Whether strutting the stage, twirling by the poolside or riding her moped through a party with a fog machine in tow, this gal put a smile on my face every time our paths crossed.

Miss Glover showed 'em all how it's done when she kicked up those gorgeous gams. Talk about the total package: sweet as pie, terrifically talented and beyond beautiful. No wonder she's always such a crowd favorite.

My dear sisters, Linda Hand Jenkins and Bo Lima Jenkins were also in on all the festivities. They hosted a lovely party Saturday night, providing all the revelers with a delicious low country boil. They certainly know their way around "low" things, those two. Bo Lima was on her best behavoir for once. I barely heard her speak an ill will about a soul all weekend. Well, that was until she greeted Pinkie Jenkins with, "Where have you been all day Pinkie, routing around for truffles?"

It was an absolute delight to be present when Brownie Betty made an appearance by the pool one glorious afternoon. Apparently, she has expanded her repertoire of "baked" goods to include peanut butter fudge. I just love it when an old bitch learns new tricks. It's been too long since the last time Betty and I let it all hang out at the campground together.

Ever the industrious soul, Marsha made a little spare change by offering manicures throughout the weekend. Here she is working over Dannyboy's cheetos.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Monday morning rolled around and it was time for me and Dannyboy to drag our tired asses back to Atlanta Hartsfield Airport. We got there rather early for our flight back to Looseville which gave Dannyboy plenty of time to catch up with old friend, Ed Wall before we got on the plane. Boys will be boys!

Smooches,

Daph

Bambi B-Day

2007-06-04T18:27:00.001-04:00

(The birthday girl herself, spreading a little faerie dust.)

Hey all you hot readers out there. Here's a quick post to wish my sister Bambi a fabulous birthday. I had such a wonderful time catching up with her this past weekend at the luxurious River's Edge Campground. Who new that crazy bat was about to turn a year older?

I really do miss that wacky betch. We had some wild times back in Hotlanta. Who can forget the night I had to save her from drowning in the champagne fountain at Blake's.

Or, what about when we played geeky and drunky after the Possum's benefit show. I'll never forget they way she smashed her hairy boobies together and slurred at the waitress, "What do you think of these, Dorothy?"

Good times, good times!

Here's a sweet picture of my degenerate twin, Dannyboy, and Bambi wearing their matching bathing suits by the pool on Memorial Day. Bambi doesn't look a day over 70 now does she?

Don't worry, I promise to post more pics and to dish the dirt from Memorial Day. Check back soon!

Smooches,

Daph

Georgia Bound

2007-05-23T13:49:00.000-04:00

(The lovely Linda Hand and Daphne Jenkins enjoying cocktails by the clubhouse at the River's Edge.)

Hello everyone. I know: I’m a bad, bad blogger. It’s literally been months since my last post. No, I didn’t die of sheer delight after meeting my idol, Varla Jean Merman. I have simply been a busy, busy beaver with work, life and blacking-out drunk.

However, I wanted to take a few minutes out of my hectic schedule (now that the dry heaves have subsided) to tell you all about my exciting plans for Memorial Day Weekend. I’ll be traveling back to my old stomping grounds of Atlanta, Georgia to hang with my dear sister, Pinkie Jenkins. It’s been absolute ages since she visited me here in Looseville and I simply can’t wait to see her. I’m sure she’s bigger and bolder than ever.

It will be a quick visit in Atlanta, though, as we’ll be heading out on Friday to the luxurious River’s Edge Campground and Resort in scenic Dewey Rose, Georgia. It should be a wildly festive weekend as many of the Jenkins clan will be there. Linda Hand and Bo Lima Jenkins will be making the pilgrimage down from Charlotte, North Crazyland. Marsha B. Jenkins will be on hand along with our raunchy Republican cousin, Sheila Watkins. I hear even Bambi Jenkins will be conscious long enough to make the trip from Savannah. It will be a veritable family reunion.

While I’m on the subject of Georgia, I also wanted to let everyone know about the upcoming charity show being put on by The East Point Possums. I won’t be able to perform at the show this year, but I’m sure that Alexandria Martin and Gigi Monroe will find a way to ease your disappointment. Be sure to check it out and give to a worthy cause.

Smooches,
Daph

Viva Varla

2007-03-19T17:08:00.000-04:00

(Dannyboy, Varla Jean Merman and Kevin livin' large at Jarfi's Bistro in Looseville, KY.)

One of my idols and biggest inspirations, Varla Jean Merman, visited Looseville as part of LEO’s A Little Off Center. This is the same theater series that brought the fantastic film auteur John Waters to town back in November.

Varla is an amazing actress and chanteuse who is rumored to be the love child of Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman. It’s no surprise given that kind of esteemed lineage that she would be such a talented performer.

While Varla is a native of N’awlins, I originally discovered her years back during my many visits to Provincetown, Massachusetts. I can’t think of another entertainer who exudes such an aura of class while simultaneously singing and ingesting an entire can of spray cheese.

My next exposure to this mad genius was the maniacal movie Girls Will Be Girls. In this cinematic classic, Varla portrays a bright-eyed ingénue breaking into Hollywood the old fashioned way: prostitution. The film also stars the crazy Coco Peru of Trick fame and the ever-aging Evie Harris. It is without question my favorite dragtastic film of all time.

The show here in Loosevile was an absolute scene. There were so many queens in attendance, Dannyboy and Kevin commented that they felt like they were at the local YMCA. Of course, I'm a little surprised that they were able to recognize anyone with their clothes on.

Varla’s new show is called “Anatomically Incorrect”. Each song is about the body. The overall theme of the night was, “Is your hole larger than the sum of your parts?” Varla presented lots of new material including her own version of “My Humps” complete with a spitting camel costume. The final squirrel costume was a huge hit with the audience as well.

Varla did dust off a few of her classics as well. She treated the audience to a spirited reading of her "School House Rock" medley. Despite rumors to the contrary, I can confirm that Varla does in fact still employ spray cheese in her act. It was all I could do not to rush the stage and lock my lips around that tangy stream of cheesy goodness.

Jarfi’s Bistro hosted an after-party in Valra’s honor. The guest of honor even showed up to mingle, sign autographs and sell her latest collection of videos. It was such an honor to actually stalk…I mean to meet someone that I hold in such high esteem. Hopefully, she’ll remove that restraining order soon so that I’ll have the opportunity to see her again some time.

In the meantime, I’ve posted one of her visionary videos so that you can get a feel for what a unique performer she really is. If you get a chance to catch this lovely lady during one of her live performances, don’t miss out.

Varla Jean Merman - "Breathe"

Smooches,
Daph

Beautiful Babs

2007-03-03T10:38:00.000-05:00

If you think that Barbra Streisand is just a loud mouth bitch with a huge nose and an even bigger ego, you need to check out some of this diva's early work. Her accomplishments on stage, television and film during her youth are unparalleled. Why just look at the hot Jenkins style she's sporting in the photo below.

You also have to check out the film Funny Girl if you've never seen it. Not only is this Bab's best picture, it's one of the most fabulous movie musicals ever filmed. If you're not singing along with "Don't Rain On My Parade" at the conclusion of the first act, you clearly don't have a gay bone in your body. The clip below is the harrowing closing number of the movie. I defy you not to shed a tear as she rips through this one.

Barbra Streisand - My Man

There's a reason that Babs is a gay and a drag icon. If you don't know why, it's time you did your research. Regardless of what you think of her current politics, she is an undeniable superstar; the type that only comes around once in a generation.

Smooches,
Daph

Fierce Fantasia

2006-12-03T10:37:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that I'm a big American Idol fan. I tend to skip the audition phase when all the freaks who know full well that they can't really sing come out to embarrass themselves. But, when it gets down to the finalists, it's absolutely fascinating to see who rises to the challenge and who crumbles under the pressure.

For such a cheezy show, it has generated some truly magical musical moments: Kelly Clarkson nailing "Stuff Like That There"; Fantasia bringing the house down with "Summertime"; Clay Aiken having a diva meltdown on "Bridge Over Troubled Water". Granted, for every great performance, you do have to sit through a dozen Kellie Picklers and Nikki McKibbins.

Sure, everyone loves Kelly Clarkson. Her second album is undeniable pop perfection. Why, my sister Marsha Jenkins has performed nearly every song in Kelly's oeuvre. However, if I had to choose just one American Idol, it would be Fantasia. Her first release, Free Yourself, is the best debut of any Idol alumnae, even if it didn't sell as well as some of the others.

Fantasia Barrino Ft.Big Boi - Hood Boy

The good news is that Fantasia has a new release coming up. If this first single is any indication, it's going to be HOT! The video is downright sizzling. Be sure to check out those fierce feathered eyelashes Tasia is sporting. Girl is workin' some serious Jenkins style.

Smooches,
Daph

Wacky Waters

2006-11-19T17:18:00.000-05:00

Well, lo and behold, it appears that Looseville, Kentucky is just looney for John Waters. Several venues around town have been hosting Waters-themed events to celebrate his visit to this fair city.

First up, Comedy Caravan screened two evenings of free John Waters films. Peppa Roni and I ventured out for "Polyester" night. They provided Odorama cards so that we could experience this aromatic cinematic delight the way it was meant to be seen...and smelled. I'd forgotten just how hearbreaking Divine's performance is in that film; not to mention how yummy Tab Hunter is.

The fabulous and trendy 21C Museum Hotel pitched in by hosting an exhibit of Waters' recent photography and illustrations. It definitely seemed fitting to have his work shown in a museum where the men's room urinal wall is made of glass. Yes, while you're relieving yourself, you can see the art lovers strolling down the hallway. I'm sure Mr. Waters approved.

Saturday was the main event: John Waters himself came and spoke at the Bomhard Theater as part of the LEO Presents A Little Off Center Series. To get geared up, Peppa and I enjoyed a little afternoon home viewing of the crowd-pleasing "Hairspray" as well as the filthy "Pink Flamingos". There's nothing like some singing rosebud and a dog feces feast to get you geared up for an evening of witty banter.

If John Waters comes to your town, do yourself a favor and catch the show. It's funnier and more twisted than any stand-up routine I've ever seen. He dishes on everything from literacy in America to the current state of pornography. I haven't felt that intellectually stimulated in ages.

In fact, Peppa and I are in such a Waters frenzy, we just finished marveling at the sickness that is "Serial Mom". It had never occured to me before what an influence Kathleen Turner's portrayel of that maniacal mother Beverly Suthpin must have been on the creation of Desperate Housewive's Bree Hodge. Speaking of which, it's only a few hours until a new episode of that delightful show. I think we'll put on "A John Waters Christmas" to get into the holiday spirit and cook some dinner until then.

Smooches,
Daph

Kelly Video

2006-11-08T08:42:00.000-05:00

For those of you who adore Kelly's "Shoes" video, here's another gem from that demented diva. This is sort of a high-tech take on the classic "Sex and the City" episode where Carrie gets dumped by Berger via a post-it note.

Text Message Breakup

My dear pal, Prissy Cilla of The East Point Possums forwarded this laugh riot over to me. She runs across some of the funniest stuff on the net when she's not surfing for porn!

Watch for the pee-inducing cameo by Margaret Cho. What a sport! It's been years since I hung out with Margaret in Provincetown, Massachusetts. We had such fun together mocking the tacky tourists parading up and down Commercial Street.

Hopefully, I'll make it back to Provincetown next summer with Pinkie Jenkins for a week of sun and sin. Fortunately, I'm heading to Tampa, Florida tomorrow on business. I'll be sure to get my big white body on the beach for some rays before I head back. Don't be suprised if I blind someone with the reflection of the sun off my ivory skin.

Smooches,
Daph

The House on Homo Hill

2006-11-04T13:20:00.000-05:00

As promised, here are some horrifying photos from Halloween night. The picture above is Peppa Roni's haunted mansion in the Highlands of Looseville, Kentucky. We had a screamingly good time getting it all done up for the holiday. We invited a large group of our most ghoulish gal pals over and concocted a witching little brew to get the good times simmering.

Despite the cool temperature and light rain, lots of little ghosts and goblins were trolling the neighborhood for treats. I decided to resurrect my zombie routine and had a total blast scaring all the little kiddies from the porch. Of course, some of the older "kids" were a little savvier. There was the one young lady who could be heard to scream, "Is that a drag queen?" She and her pals giggled as they tried to convince one another to go back and ask. My fans just get younger and younger all the time!

The biggest surprise of the night was running into U.S. Representative Anne Northup trying to scare up some votes for her dying campaign. If you're looking to promote hell on earth, she's definitely your candidate. As you can see from the pic on the left, there is a striking resemblance between us: I just look a little more lifelike.

Here I am trying to warm my bones by the fire. I do so love Halloween. I wonder what frights next year will bring. I'm sure the rest of the Jenkins clan back in Georgia had an absolute ball at The River's Edge. Hopefully, Pinkie has managed to find her way out of the forbidden forest by now.

Smooches,
Daph

Halloween Horrors

2006-10-31T17:40:00.000-05:00

Well, Halloween has certainly been living up to it's potential so far this year. This past Saturday, I finally managed to coax Peppa Roni Jenkins out for a night on the town. As you can see in the photo above, it didn't take us long to find our first victim, Franklin. We sunk our talons into this poor babe in the woods and didn't let him loose until the evening drew to a close.

Our first stop was the Halloween Hut II party and food drive for Aids Interfaith Ministries of Kentuckiana. The queens that own the radiant Ray of Light boutique on Market Street go all out to decorate the barn adjacent to their store for Halloween. It was a fabulously frightening experience.

There, I met mad old Madge. She told me an elaborate tale about how she had a hunter secure the vibrant pelt of Tony The Tiger from the good folks at Kellog's. As you can see, dear Tony makes an absolutely delightful coat. Unfortunately, Madge's happy pills had kicked in, so I wasn't able to completely decipher her entire story. Besides, Randie Wrottedhoe had shown up, so it was time to move on.

Our next stop of the evening was Peppa Roni's old stomping grounds, The Connection. Everyone was so delighted to see Peppa...especially since they'd all assumed she'd died years ago. The flashing bulbs of the paparazzi were nearly blinding.

We had an absolute blast watching the show that evening. I was in such a good mood, I actually forgave Margo Davis for performing a number by that skankie ho, Fergie. Mokha wowed the crowd with her revolving titty routine. The highlight of the night, though, had to be the cast number where Hurricane Summers and Syimone performed dueling Tina Turners. I thought Peppa was going to have a coronary over that one.

Not bad for a warm-up, hunh? Well, today is the actual Holiday and I'm ready to raise the dead. That's right folks, Daphne zombie is making another appearance this Halloween. Peppa and I have a bunch of pals coming over and we're going to hand out candy and scare the children in the neighborhood. Hopefully, we can frighten a few of the parents as well.

Stop back later this week for pics of the carnage. Oh, how I delight in this time of year.

Smooches,
Daph

Marie Antoinette

2006-10-30T20:06:00.000-05:00

Second generation filmmaker Sofia Coppola (daughter of Francis "The Godfather" Ford) has reteamed with Kirsten Dunst, her "Virgin Suicides" muse, to bring us a truly original vision of Marie Antoinette's life story. If you like period pieces, this film has enough eye candy to send you into diabetic shock.

Much has been made of Sofia's use of 80's New Wave music in an otherwise faithful period piece. While it adds a refreshing zing to what could have been an otherwise prim and stately affair, it's hardly the jarring distraction you might think it would be. Those expecting a "Moulin Rouge" style anachronistic spectacle are sure to be disappointed.

For the most part, Sofia continues to show the delicate directing style exhibited by her last work, "Lost In Translation". Where other filmmakers beat you over the head with a message, Sofia lets the audience read the actions and expressions of the actors to convey their interior monologues. If you enjoyed last year's overbearing Oscar-stealer, "Crash", I suggest you steer clear of this artful endeavor.

Particularly noteworthy are the interesting casting decisions. Musician Marianne Faithfull as Marie's mother lends an air of gravity and concern that hangs over the first half of the film as Marie unsuccessfully tries to assert her place as wife to the Prince. Woody Allen regular, Judy Davis, unsurprisingly impresses as the strict and immoveable head of household. Saturday Night Live alum, Molly Shannon, manages to tone herself down just enough as a catty member of the royal family. The real scene-stealer, though, is Asia Argento who burns up the screen during her every appearance as the uncouth mistress of the King, the Madame Du Barry.

Even Jason Schwartzman, who I questioned being cast as a male romantic lead Louis XVI, makes perfect sense in the role now that I've actually seen the film. However, the film clearly belongs to Dunst in a role that allows her to struggle against the restraints of responsibility and society. Her portrayal is no Paris Hilton in corset and powdered wigs. Yes, she's a rebel; but she's one with heart and soul.

When the story draws to it's ill-fated conclusion, you truly feel for this girl overwhelmed by events beyond her control. Kirsten manages to mature her character without silly ageing makeup. Instead she conveys her arc through her demeanor. And, don't expect a long bloody finale along the lines of "The Passion Of The Christ". Sofia ends the film on a quiet despondent note that resonates with you for days after the viewing. We all know how it ends and our imaginations can fill in the rest. A lesser filmmaker would have turned the subject matter into a gory horror film. Luckily, we're dealing here with the work of an artist.

Smooches,
Daph

Tina Too

2006-10-23T19:13:00.000-04:00

It was only natural that once I posted a little story on my blog about Tina Turner, the reigning Tina interpreter from the Connection would stumble upon my site. Indeed, the Mistress of Mayhem herself, Hurricane Summers, dropped by and provided me with a portfolio of Tina pics. And what a fierce set of images they are!

Who can resist a diva that so effortlessly pulls off such a beautiful Bob Mackie creation? Shake a tail feather!

I absolutely adore Tina's elegance in this picture. Glamour, glamour, glamour!

This pic is probably the most surprising of the bunch for me. Tina looks downright menacing in this uniform. As if she doesn't exude authority and command respect already!

Of course, I couldn't complete my post without an electrifying picture of Hurricane herself. Halle Berry better look out, because I think Hurricane could kick her ass as Storm in the next X-Men film.

Smooches,
Daph

Tina Tantrum

2006-10-16T19:55:00.000-04:00

Sorry that it's been so long since my last post. I've just been frantically preparing for the gay high holy day, Halloween. In the meantime, I thought I'd share with you all a recent discovery from YouTube. This is a freakishly fun clip of Tina Turner and Cher kickin' it up to the classic tune, "Shame Shame Shame".

Cher & Tina Turner - Shame Shame Shame

This version was obviously slowed down quite a big to compensate for Cher's unusual singing style. However, it's still a hoot to hear these sassy dames dueting. It's total camp overload. Showing it to young children would surely turn them gay. By the way, if you can track down Tina's solo version of this tune, it's sizzling hot.

Naturally, I'm a long time Tina Turner fan. I'll never forget seeing her in concert back when I was just a wee lass. I was simply speechless when she descended from the rafters belting out "Goldeneye" after the first intermission. Diva knows how to make an entrance!

Well, when I met Peppa Roni, I found out that I was a rank amateur when it comes to worshipping at the altar of Tina. Peppa has an encyclopedic knowledge of this simple girl with a dream from Nutbush. Peppa has turned me onto all sorts of gems that I didn't realize existed. If you can get your hands on a copy of Tina doing "Kill His Wife", grab it. You'll never hear her more ferocious and frisky.

So, if you think Tina's oeuvre begins with "What's Love Got To Do With It" and ends with "Simply The Best", then you need to get out there and do your research.

Smooches,
Daph

Looseville Debut

2006-09-11T14:03:00.000-04:00

(Daphne Ruth showing Pinkie a little sisterly love.)

After months of anticipation, Pinkie Jenkins and I finally made our Looseville debut here in Kentucky. Pinkie took a special trip up from Hotlanta to help make it a simply huge event. It was just like old times as we gossiped around our makeup stations, adding layer upon layer of glitter and glamour to our already gorgeous mugs.

Peppa Roni Jenkins wasn’t able to make it out that night due to a nasty case of gas. However, she was thoughtful enough to send her houseboy, Kevin, over with a special delivery of pizza. The darling asked whether or not we’d really want to eat right before going out on the town all dolled up. He’s obviously not hung out with the Jenkins clan before. Those pizza pies were gone before he could get his hands on a slice. To make it up to him, though, we smacked him with a little glitter and dragged him along for the night.

Naturally, our first stop for the evening was the show room at The Infection. We got there just before the first performance of the night and were literally mauled by throngs of brides-to-be and other bachelorette party attendees. They clearly recognized Pinkie and me from one of our many unreleased films. The place went wild as soon as we got there; I’m still having vision problems from all the flash photography pointed in our direction.

All three of us enjoyed the hell out of the LaBoy LeFemme show that night. Hurricane Summers and the rest of the cast are absolutely top notch entertainers. I was sad, though, that Mokha Montrese was in Chicago that weekend for Continental. I would have liked for Pinkie to see her perform; she’s a whole lotta woman.

After the show a bunch of our friends showed up at the bar, so we decided to go exploring. We couldn’t drag Pinkie away from Privates, the “man’s bar” complete with a boy dancing in a shower. Talk about good clean fun! Of course, things only went downhill from there. Next we hit GMO where Pinkie proceeded to eat a banana split sundae right off one of the strippers. That girl will put anything in her mouth!

I was sad to see Pinkie head back at the end of the weekend. But alas, my refrigerator and cupboards were empty. I hope she’ll be back soon with more of the Jenkins clan so that we can show Looseville how to party like drag queens!

Smooches,
Daph

Scissor Sisterhood

2006-09-07T10:36:00.000-04:00

(Babydaddy, Ana Matronic, Jake Shears, Paddy Boom and Del Marquis get ready to rock your world.)

One of my absolute favorite current bands is the sensational Scissor Sisters. This New York City group of marvelous musicians is gloriously glamtastic. Their mission is to return the fun and the glitter back to pop music. In a lot of ways, they seem to be kindred spirits to the Jenkins clan. Their sound is best described as Captain Fantastic-era Elton John meets disco-era Bee Gees. As you can see from the band shot above, their look and stage persona is just as dragtastic as their sound.

The lead singer of the band is Jake Shears, an absolute hottie if ever there was one. As you can probably tell from the pic on the right, he’s not exactly shy either. When I met him after a show in Hotlanta, I made sure to coyly address him by his real name (ya, like I’m going to tell you what it is). The poor dear was completely flustered trying to remember how we knew each other. I reassured him that we had never met previously; he certainly would have recalled Daphne Ruth Jenkins if we had.

Anna Matronic is Jake’s side-kick and vocal harmonizer. To truly understand her contribution to the band, you have to see them live. She keeps the party going at all times. From the gossip I’ve heard, she knows how to boogie down off stage as well.

That big cuddly bear, Babydaddy, is the main songwriter as well as the bass player. Velma Gwen, Dolly Wood and I all hung out with him over at Woofs after one of their gigs in Hotlanta. He was an absolute sweetheart. I'm sure that Paris and Cindy Jenkins would have joined us there as well if they handn't gotten so totally tore up at the show. Del Marquis, the fiercely fashionable guitarist also came out for cocktails that night.

Paddy Boom, the solitary straight man in the group, handles drums. According to rumor, musical instruments aren’t the only things he likes slapping. Apparently, he’s a big old S&M daddy for all you ladies out there. My bottom burns just thinking about it.

The band’s first eponymous release is in constant rotation over at my pad. In fact, I’ve even performed that excellent ode to trannie street walkers, Filthy/Gorgeous. The most popular song off the album is probably, Take Your Momma Out which details the delights of taking your Mom to a strip joint. However, you shouldn’t overlook other classics such as Laura with its scathing put down, “This will be the last time I ever cut your hair!”

Their first cd was a huge hit overseas, but didn’t have quite as big an impact here in the States. It did, however, garner the attention of some serious heavy hitters in the music industry. Elton John is a huge fan and has assisted the band in the studio for the production of their hotly anticipated new cd, Ta-Dah. Check out the video above for the insanely catchy first single, I Don’t Feel Like Dancing. I guarantee you won’t be able to sit still for this one.

The Scissor Sisters have also landed themselves a coveted spot on Fashion Rocks, a concert airing this Friday at 9pm on CBS. They’ll be performing alongside other megastar musicians such as Christina Aguilera and Beyoncé as well as up-and-coming talents such as Rihanna. It’s simply a matter of time before the ranks of the Sisterhood is overflowing with new disciples.

Smooches,
Daph

Brother Boy Wins Emmy!

2006-08-25T09:16:00.000-04:00

After years of pee-inducing guest appearances on Will and Grace, Leslie Jordan finally took home an Emmy for his portrayel of Beverley Leslie, Karen's pint-sized nemesis. During Saturday's 58th Annual Creative Arts Emmy Awards, Jordan was awarded the Guest Actor in a Comedy statuette. Talk about well-deserved recognition: Jordan was one of the few bright spots in the flagging final seasons of that once great sitcom.

My favorite Leslie Jordan role to date (and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way) is his side-splitting portrayel of Brother Boy in the camp classic, Sordid Lives. His country queen lovin', Tammy Wynette performing, trannie is one of the most dragelicious performances ever put to celluloid. If you're one of the few unfortunate souls that has never seen this masterpiece, add it to your collection immediately.

Jordan actually created the role in the original stage production. He later appeared in another original Del Shores production, Southern Baptist Sissies. I didn't know that when I recently caught a local production of Sissies. Funny though, the entire time I sat through the play, I was thinking that the character Peanut totally reminds me of Leslie Jordan. Yes, Jordan has put his stamp on yet another unforgettable character.

If you're a fan of Sordid Lives and you get the chance to see a production of Sissies, definitely check it out. It has a little something for everyone: religion, naked boys, laughs, tears and DRAG!

Jordan has also had success as a playwright with his autobiographical one-man show, Like A Dog On Linoleum. This laugh riot production has had two runs back in my old stomping grounds of Hotlanta. Unfortunately, I haven't had the opportunity to see the show myself. However, my dear sister Peppa Roni caught the production recently over in Chicago. Apparently, she even got to meet the diminutive diva after the show. Lucky bitch!

There's more good news for Jordan fans: due to his win last weekend, he'll be on hand at the Primetime Emmy Awards this Sunday, August 27 to present an award. Congratulations Brother Boy!

Smooches,
Daph

Holy Hedwig

2006-08-22T11:01:00.000-04:00

As most of you know, I'm a huge fan of the performing arts. Whether it's a play, the symphony or midget wrestling, I'm always up for supporting the creative outlets of others. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that Peppa Roni and I took a little road trip to the quaint little city of Lexington this weekend to catch a live production of Hedwig and The Angry Inch. If you've never seen this riotous rock opera or its film adaptation, you don't know what you're missing. According to Gigi Monroe, it's actually what inspired her to take up drag in the first place!

I was a little concerned about watching a live production of the show since I simply adore the film version starring John Cameron Mitchell. However, I need not have worried. David Colbert did a fine job filling Hedwig's substantial Farrah-flip wig. Truth be told, he has a much stronger singing voice than Mitchell. Colbert also brings a very physical side the Hedwig's stage persona with his almost freakishly fit booty.

What really puts Hedwig over the top for me are the songs by Stephen Trask, a current resident of Lexington. "Sugar Daddy" is a sweet country-tinged song about the power of using sexuality to control one's paramours. Not that I would know anything about that! "Wig In A Box" is a sassy sing-along that perfectly captures the ability of a brand new wig to completely lift one's spirits. The rousing final number, "Midnight Radio" is an epic power ballad shout-out to the talented and independent divas such as Tina, Yoko and Aretha, whose voices have traveled over the airwaves bringing us the strength and the courage to be ourselves.

On a side-note, there is an excellent benefit album, Wig In A Box, containing songs from and inspired by Hedwig. The performers on this tribute album are an eclectic mix of some of today's most interesting artists. That kooky Canadian queerboy, Rufus Wainwright does a gorgeous job on "The Origin of Love". Yoko Ono's erratic "Exquisite Corpse" has to be heard to be believed. Girl tears it up! The standout on the album, though, has to be Cindy Lauper's monumental belting of "Midnight Radio". That diminutive 80's diva has a set of pipes on her!

Besides being an absolutely excellent recording, all the proceeds go to New York's Hetrick-Martin Institute, home of the Harvey Milk School for gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered youth. Order your copy today!

Smooches,
Daph

Raucous Runway

2006-08-17T12:04:00.000-04:00

I know that I’m a total Joannie-cum-lately, but I have just now discovered the sheer joy of the Project Runway phenomenon. Believe it or not, I never caught an episode of the earlier seasons despite the fact that I’ve heard that the corn dress (pictured at left) that I created for the Miss Corn Cobb County Pageant was very reminiscent of a gown from one of the earlier installments.

Lately, it’s become something of a tradition for me to get together with Peppa Roni Jenkins and Jaquée Jenkins each week to catch all the fashion atrocities in the latest installment of this absolute bitch fest. I have it on good authority that straight people watch this show as well. It must seem to them like peering into a catty, rose-colored alternate reality. Why, it would be like if I attended a Monster Truck Show.

The series is hosted by supermodel Heidi Klum who usually appears slightly numb and over-medicated until she has something really scathing to say about one of the contestants. I suppose this gorgeous German gal can be forgiven for the constant need to dub her lines seeing as the extent of my knowledge of her language comes from repeated viewings of Cabaret.

Much more natural on screen is Tim Gunn, a sort of fairy godmother to the contestants. Each week he pops in on them during their challenges and offers hilariously frank assessments of their work. Always dapper, polite and brutally honest, I would love to have him around when I’m preparing my next pageant dress.

The current frontrunner in the contest is Michael, a smart and savvy brother from my old stomping grounds of Hotlanta. I thought his winning garbage dress this week was totally over-hyped. However, I absolutely adored his ghetto fabulous, flaming pink, Pam Grier hot pants and blouse last week (pictured at right). He also had one of my favorite lines so far in the series when he said that he didn’t want to defend of the female contestants during an argument, thereby becoming “Captain-Save-A-Ho”.

Kayne, the flaming carrot-topped queen who nearly peed himself with excitement during pageant week, had an awful time with the challenge this week. His gonorrhea green garbage dress had even the unflappable Tim Gunn flustered. One would have thought he’d do a better job with the challenge to create a dress out of recycled materials after his story about dumpster diving as a child. Like we didn’t already know he was white trash!

For once, Kayne’s queeny sidekick, Robert, didn’t wind up in the bottom three. (Not that he normally minds being the bottom, if you know what I mean.) He must have been re-energized by all the cutting comments he made during the episode such as when he said Kayne would develop a rash after Laura kissed him on the cheek.

Speaking of Laura, the other contestants better watch out. This cold and classy New York resident has some real momentum in the competition. The judges are already saying that she has a signature look to her work. Unfortunately, I do find that signature look a little dull even if it is tasteful.

Of course, no one would accuse Angela of being too tasteful. This dippy, hippy designer had a rough start with the competition, failing to gain the respect of her peers or the judges. Surprisingly, she did manage to win one of the challenges with her Statue of Liberty inspired gown (pictured at left). Truth be told, though, that was a team effort. One wonders if Laura’s conservative influence helped tone down some of Angela’s zanier aesthetics. Only time will tell if Angela can stand as tall on her own two feet.

The absolute anomaly on the show right now is Vincent. How he has squeaked by week after week without getting booted can only be explained by the fact that the producers must think he makes good television. The way that he repeatedly said that his latest ghastly creation was getting him off was truly creepy. I thought Jaquée was going to have a coronary when Heidi chastised Vincent, saying that, “there is a thin line between avant-garde and insanity.”

But alas, it was pixie-ish Alison who got tripped off the runway this week for her unflattering creation that made her waif-like model look like “plus-sized” according to Heidi. Oh, the horror! Granted, it was a serious misstep. However, she has certainly been more consistent than that whack job Vincent.

My favorite gown of the week actually came from L.A.’s edgy designer, Jeffrey. Despite his horrifically unattractive neck tattoo and even more unflattering hostile personality, I have to admit that his recycled gown (pictured at right) was daringly delightful and looked amazing on the runway. I totally think he was robbed this week by not winning the challenge.

That leaves Uli, who I predict will be the next fashion victim to go. I don’t say this because she’s a bad designer. The fact is, she’s been pretty middle of the road all season. However, she’s sort of forgettable and all it will take is one misstep and she’ll be expendable. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about this show it’s that it’s better to be outrageous and awful than it is to be mediocre and unremarkable.

Hopefully, they’ll have a challenge soon where they're required to design a gown for a drag queen. I’ll volunteer to be the model any day. Step aside Heidi!

Smooches,
Daph

Animal Lovin'

2006-07-13T12:07:00.000-04:00

In my quest to experience all the sites and sounds of my new home, I made a trip this weekend to the Looseville Zoo. Peppa Roni Jenkins was kind enough to loan me her hunky houseboy Kevin to be my official tour guide on this sassy safari since he has prior experience as a docent.

If you're wondering what the frick a docent is, you're not alone. Turns out that it's just a fancy word for a volunteer teacher. As Kevin explained, docents assist the Looseville Zoo Education Department in teaching classes to school groups, sharing information with Zoo visitors and helping “to better the bond between people and the planet.” Lord knows, that Kevin is all about "bonding". Apparently, docents also get to put the smackdown on hyperactive children that torture the animals by banging on their glass cages. Sounds so fulfilling!

One of my favorite animals at the zoo was the East African Crowned Crane. This crazy bird had some serious Jenkins flair. Why, just look at that roller disco hair she's sporting.

The other patrons seemed very impressed by the showoff of the animal kingdom, the peacock. I'm not sure what the big deal is; we have one of these screeching primadonnas running about the Highlands, my neighborhood in Looseville. They make a worse racket than Pinkie getting turned away from the buffet at Shoney's.

The Lorikeet exhibit was a total blast as well. For just $1, you were able to purchase a tiny shot glass filled with nectar and then enter their habitat to lure these colorful creatures in for a little cocktail. I'm not sure what the Lorikeets were so excited about; I had about five shots and never got so much as a buzz. Here's a picture of Kevin with his new feathered friend right before she showed her gratitude by pooping right down his back. Oh, the thrill of the wild!

Some people have phobias about snakes and spiders. For me, the scariest exhibit at the zoo had to be the dreaded staropotamus. This dangerous creature is known for its enormous mouth and drastic weight fluctuations. This is one predator that I'm happy to say was recently placed on the endangered species list. Just look at those fangs!

Everyone who knows me well realizes that I am a great animal lover: frogs, rabbits, ducks, bison. They all make fabulous menu items. So, you know that I'll be back to the zoo time and time again to research new recipe ideas and to get in touch with my inner beast.

Smooches,
Daph

Gal P.A.L.S.

2006-07-06T18:11:00.000-04:00

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins getting ready to rock the crowd at the 9th Annual East Point Possums Show.)

After spending the past couple of months in my new home of Looseville, Kentucky, I was able to arrange a special deja vu weekend back in Hotlanta, Georgia. As luck would have it, Saturday, June 17 happened to be the date for the big East Point Possums Show. This P.A.L.S. benefit just seems to grow in size and scope each year (not unlike Pinkie's butt). This time around, the event was moved indoors to a venue called The Wagon Works. The accommodations were deluxe, including several dressing rooms for the performers and even showers in the rest rooms. As you can see from the picture of me getting ready before the show, the air conditioning was working just fine.

As promised, I unveiled a daring new number: KT Tunstall's "Black Horse and The Cherry Tree". I wore a glowingly gamma irradiated wig that I picked up that afternoon from Craig over at Junkman's Daughter in Little Five Points. It made me feel very She-Hulk. I even performed with an acoustic guitar for the first time. It was a total blast getting in touch with my inner lesbian.

My number was pretty early on, which meant that I was able to get good and liquored up while I enjoyed the rest of the performers. No, that's not Madge feeling me up. It's actually my gal pal Gigi Monroe giving me a helpful rack adjustment. Besides her amazingly limber take on "Hung Up", she also did a wackily wonderful version of "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" dressed as Lucille Ball. Too bad she never shows any range.

The night was just full of hot girl-on-girl action. That's my dear pal, Keisha Lorraine in her racy NASCAR jumpsuit planting a big juicy one on me. A little lady liplock hasn't caused such a stir since the infamous Madonna/Britney tonsil hockey episode. Ironically enough, Keisha dusted off some classic Britney and wowed the crowd with "Oops, I Did It Again". What she obviously hasn't done again is hit the buffet. I don't know how she stays so svelte and elegant while the rest of us look like we've been inflated with a bicycle pump.

Speaking of which, I was literally knocked to the floor by Alexandria Martin's brand new bosoms. I'd post of pic of them, but I'm afraid that I'd need an adult verification on my website. Massive mammaries!

Of course, a Possums show would not be complete without a show stopping performance by Prissy Cilla. Her cheerleader medley had the crowd chanting for more. Here's a picture of us snuggling at the VIP after-party at the East Point Corner Tavern. As you can see, I really threw myself into the festivities that night. Good thing I didn't have any early morning commitments the next day.

Not that I won the "Booger Mess" Award or anything, though. That honor clearly befell my dear sister Bambi. She's been diagnosed with a rare condition that causes her to remove her shirt whenever alcoholic beverages are introduced into her sensitive system. The clinical term is "girlsgonewilditis". I believe this photograph was taken right after she mashed her hairy boobs together and slurred at the waitress, "Whaddaya think of these, Dorothy?" Oh, good times, good times!

Of course, I wasn't the only Jenkins gal to hit the stage that night. My sister Marsha performed yet another hit from the Kelly Clarkson cannon of perfect pop confections. This time out, she tackled Kelly's latest single, "Walk Away". At this rate, Marsha's going to be able to perform an entire concert of Kelly Clarkson ditties. No wonder she has such fans. Why, just look at the appreciation this tangerine hued groupie is showing Marsha after the show.

Well, the Possums really are to be commended for another job well done. The most recent tally is that over $6,000 was raised by this momentous event. Who knew you could have so much fun while supporting a great cause?

If you'd like to see more pics from that night, bop on over to Omar's site. As usual, he captured some of the most outrageous moments of the evening.

Smooches,
Daph

Trollop Hoppin'

2006-06-11T19:35:00.001-04:00

(Dannyboy and one of the beautiful blushing brides at the June Trolley Hop.)

Hey poodles! I know that you're all just salivating to find out what I've been up to the past two weeks. Well naturally, I've been busy rehearsing a brand new number for my big homecoming performance at the East Point Possums P.A.L.S. benefit show next weekend.

However, I've also reached a very important milestone here in my new home of Looseville, Kentucky. Yes ladies, I've made my very first enemy. I'm sure you're all wondering how a giving, caring and all around sweet gal like me could ever develop a nemesis. I have a simple one word answer for you: jealousy. The poor wretch in question, Randie Wrottedhoe, simply couldn't stand all the attention I was receiving here on her turf.

It seems like I can't go out for a cocktail these days without that venomous slag shamelessly throwing herself at one of my many suitors. Naturally, they've all rebuffed her. Honey, when you can dine on filet mignon, why would you settle for mad cow?

My dear sister, Linda Hand Jenkins, offered to hitch her ass up here to help me deal with this toxic trollop. I sincerely doubt that will be necessary, though; I foresee a nasty plummet from a very steep cliff in Randie's immediate future.

Despite all this drama, I have managed to get out and enjoy some of the festive goings on around town. Just last weekend I attended a lovely local monthly event: the 1st Friday Trolley Hop. A number of downtown Looseville art galleries along the Market Street trolley system have joined together to have openings on the first Friday of each month. It's a great opportunity to mingle with the masses and to take in some of the awe-inspiring art that's being produced around the Looseville area. Plus, most of the galleries provide free wine and snacks. How delightful!

June's Trolley Hop had the added attraction of being the host of Draggin' For Dollars. This annual community event features drag queens descending upon the Hop in order to raise donations for local HIV/AIDS charities as well as for VOICES of Kentuckiana, the region's only all-inclusive choir.

The June Bride theme of this year's Draggin' For Dollars brought out a plethora of masterpieces as you can see from the pics. That's Dannyboy and Kevin (Peppa Roni's hunky houseboy) with a big, bold and beautiful fundraiser who looks like she'd fit right in with the Jenkins clan. Can't you just picture her and Pinkie wrestling over the last slice of pizza? Clearly, there was some art on the streets that night to rival what was being exhibited in the galleries. Who said there'd be no culture in Kentucky?

Well, the big Possums show is less than a week away, so I'd better get back to work on my big production. Oh, and be sure to warn me if you spot Randie sneaking up behind me with any sharp objects.

Smooches,
Daph

Hotlanta Update

2006-05-28T18:59:00.000-04:00

I may be up here in Looseville, Kentucky, but I still get all the tasty dish about what's happening back in my old stomping grounds of Hotlanta, Georgia. The big buzz these days is that the 9th Annual East Point Possums Show which will be held on Saturday, June 17 at the Wagon Works. This is the first year that this P.A.L.S. benefit will be held indoors. It has an absolutely amazing line-up of entertainers:

First up, there's ME. Yes darlings, I've managed to rearrange my hectic schedule so as to be part of the festivities. I'm planning to premiere a brand new number that I've been working feverishly on. Trust me; you won't want to miss it.

On top of that, it's going to be like a Jenkins family reunion. Marsha B. Jenkins, the head model of Drag-O-Rama is planning a big gender-bending spectacle with Pinkie and Yolanda as back-up dancers. It's sure to be Abba-lutely mind blowing. In the meantime, the gals have answered the desperate pleas of their fan...I mean fans...and recorded a short podcast during their brief hiatus until they start the Drag-O-Drama show back up again in a few weeks. Sadly, our lovely sister, Linda Hand will not be able to join us. She is going on a Manhunt that weekend up at The River's Edge Campground. Lock your cabins, boys!

It will also be great to see Alexandria Martin, that larger than life personality without whom the Jenkins clan would never have learned the joys of using Sharpies as part of their beauty routine. Alexandria has been diligently working through the pageant scene around Hotlanta. After a hotly debated first runner-up showing at Miss Cobb County at LeBuzz, this crowd favorite and multiple title holder failed to even place at the Miss Gay Atlanta Pageant sponsored by Swinging Richards. I hear the dancers are still recovering from the mauling Ms. Martin gave them after the show. According to gossip hound Pinkie Jenkins, "Both pageants stunk of favoritism. Word is that Alexandria has quit her position at LeBuzz as a result of the scandal." Pinkie later clarified, "I have that from very reliable sources but I have not heard it from Alexandria's mouth."

I'm also looking forward to seeing my gal pal, Gigi Monroe. This Atlanta Drag Idol recently dropped me a note to beam about becoming a permanent full-time member of Charlie Brown's Cabaret. Unfortunately, I just received word that Charlie's place has become the latest victim of Hotlanta's nightlife scene and will be closing their doors forever after a farewell performance on June 4. This premiere venue will be sorely missed. However, the show will go on. Word is that the cast will be performing at WETBar on Fridays starting June 16 and that Charlie is looking to start up a drag dinner theater experience some time in October.

I can't wait to see what the delicious Keisha Lorraine has cooked up for the event. If you've never checked out her raucous chronicle of the 2005 King and Queen of East Point contest, you simply must hop over to her site and check it out. I guarantee that you'll pee.

Of course, the show would not be complete without the East Point Possums themselves. Prissy Cilla, Shenitta Lott and Dina Daintymouth really throw themselves into fundraising every year for this very special event. They are true heroines of the community and big party animals to boot.

Be sure to mark your calendars so that you don't miss this worthwhile and wildly entertaining affair.

Smooches,
Daph

All About Alexis

2006-05-14T11:04:00.000-04:00

Sorry that I haven't been posting much lately, folks. I've been busy getting settled in here in my new base of operations, Looseville, Kentucky.

Mid-week, I decided to treat myself to a little beauty therapy and headed over to the hot local salon, Bangs. You know it's the place to go when you see Robin Dupree working behind the counter. You'll recall that she was the fabulous diva that did the great Gladys Knight medley a few weeks back. When I entered the beauty parlor, Robin insisted that she knew me from somewhere. I explained that I'm new to town, so she couldn't possibly know me yet. However, I assured her that she will know the name Daphne Jenkins soon enough.

The highlight of my week, though, was when I finally met the Hurricane Summers. I was hanging out at The Connection on Friday night with my newfound sister, Peppa Roni Jenkins. All of a sudden I heard a booming, "Why didn't you tell me you were coming tonight, bitch?" from behind my shoulder. Hurricane had blown in to greet her old friend Peppa. Introductions were fast and furious as Hurricane needed to prepare for her next set. We weren't disappointed, though, when she serenaded Peppa with a heartfelt rendition of Tina Turner's "I Ain't Missing You".

Well, enough about my exciting life. This post is supposed to be about one of my drag idols who's been making lots of headlines of late. I'm speaking about none other than Alexis Arquette. Many times, Alexis can be overshadowed by the other members of the Arquette acting dynasty. However, she has made many important contributions to the world of cinema. "Pulp Fiction", "Last Exit To Brooklyn" and "Bride of Chucky" are just a sample of some of the fine films that have been graced by the presence of Alexis. Of course, most of us probably remember her best from her appearance in the classic documentary "Wigstock: The Movie".

Well, Alexis will be overlooked no more. Just this month, she and the rest of the Arquette clan have been presented with the American Film Institute's coveted Platinum Circle Award. This prestigious honor is bestowed upon a family whose talent and artistic achievements have made an outstanding contribution to the entertainment community. Here's a lovely shot of the Arquettes at the awards luncheon. I think Roseanna and Patricia could use a few makeup tips from their dear sister, Alexis.

Her highest profile current gig, though, has to be as a cast member of VH1's Surreal Life 6. I've made a point of catching each episode of this zany show's current season. It's a good thing that they have Alexis on the show, however, because saying that some of the current cast are C-grade celebrities would probably be a little optimistic. Other than Alexis, my personal faves are Mrs. Brady herself, Florence Henderson and Tawny Kitaen who rose to fame writhing about on the hoods of cars in Whitesnake videos. Most episodes revolve around Tawny being a b!tch to everyone in the house, disappearing into her bathroom, reappearing with a mysterious case of post nasal drip and then suddenly falling asleep in the midst of a crowded room. Flo spends most of her time looking disapprovingly at the insane antics of the other house guests.

The heart and soul of the current season is definitely Alexis. Whether producing a newscast in a sharp suit, performing the lead vocals in a battle of the bands competition, destroying the set in a vodka-fueled rage or taking on obnoxious frat boys in straight bars, she has consistently been the most entertaining personality in this incarnation of Surreal Life. VH1 is airing the season finale this evening. If you haven't caught any episodes yet, though, don't worry: VH1 is sure to air them a gazillion times over the next few weeks.

A few years back, Velma and I had the chance to see Alexis perform at Glitterdome. This was a monthly party at the site of the old Atlanta s&m/fetish club, The Chamber. Drag queens would sing live versions of 80's pop songs with a heavy metal band. Everyone who went to these parties dressed as outrageous and glamtastic as possible. We were very excited to see Alexis perform that night with the band. However, Alexis felt that her own performance was less than spectacular. To make it up to the audience, she dropped trou and demonstrated her auto fellatio talents. What an entertainer!

Smooches,
Daph

Thunder Over Louisville

2006-05-03T17:29:00.000-04:00

My dear sister Velma recently came up to visit me here in Kentucky during Thunder Over Louisville. I had been told that the highlight of this day-long celebration is the awesome fireworks display over the Ohio River in the evening. Granted, the pretty lights were certainly entertaining (as the spectacular photo above attests). Surprisingly, though, I found the daytime revelries to be even more intriguing.

Upon arriving at the waterfront that afternoon, I was greeted by the site of a couple of furverts mingling among the tourists and sightseers. These open-minded Kentuckianans surprised me by going beyond a "Live and Let Live" mentality. None seemed to mind these sexual deviants parading among them. In some instances, I witnessed entire families having their picture taken with these furry freaks. And here, I was worried about how they'd react to a 7-foot drag queen with pink hair!

Speaking of drag accessories, I was delighted to find that there would be shopping opportunities at the festival. Check out the adorable family picking out feather boas for their pint-sized Britney and Rupaul. It was at this point that I noticed a delicious trend among Looseville men: the inability to wear shirts in large public gatherings.

This was especially enjoyable given that the masses had congregated in order to watch an air show. So, while everyone was staring up into the sky admiring the Blue Angels, Velma and I were getting whiplash ogling all the half-naked hotties.

And honey, there were guys to suit every taste. The one here on the right has that sweet innocent boy-next-door look. He better not get any closer to that murky water, though, or he might start looking like the Toxic Avenger.

Next up is this arrogant looking cell phone hunk. My phone's on vibrate for him.

I think this ravenous stud was made for me. I wasn't able to catch it on film, but he proceeded to pull a can of spray cheese out of that cooler. Mmmmmm, cheesy goodness!

This one's for those of you into a little skin art. That's the kind of canvas that really inspires my artistic side.

There was even a refreshing fountain for those getting a littler overheated in the midday sun. This guy looked even better wetter.

Awwww, there's nothing like a little male bonding. I wonder what kind of fireworks these two set off after a few more of those adult beverages.

Velma couldn't stop drooling over this one. You know how she likes her manly men. Ooooh daddy!

Well, I'd better sign-off before my site turns into Life Or Something Like It. This coming Friday, Velma is making her return to Looseville for Derby weekend. All I had to do was say there were horses involved and she was all over it. I'm not sure if she really understood that it's an actual equestrian event. Oh well, I'm sure she'll find what she's looking for, nonetheless.

Smooches,
Daph

Bad Education

2006-04-26T21:35:00.000-04:00

If you've never seen a Pedro Almodovar film, you really need to expand your horizons beyond Sandra Bullock and Adam Sandler. This astoundingly talented director has made a career out of constructing daring movies that defy expectations and challenge viewers. His early films like Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown and Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! were noted for their sensuality and were populated with the types of characters American audiences weren't used to seeing at the local multiplex: porn stars, criminals, mental patients, bisexuals, sadists and masochists.

His recent films such as All About My Mother and Talk To Her (which garnered a Best Original Screenplay Oscar for Pedro) seemed fixated on divas of every walk of life: domineering mothers; glamorous actresses; transgendered prostitutes; and even female bull fighters. Pedro's latest walk on the wild side, Bad Education, continues this trend by featuring several transsexuals and drag queens.

Pedro has an eye for hot up-and-coming male talent. After all, he was the director that introduced the world to Antonio Banderas in bondage for Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! It's not surprising, therefore, that Pedro chose the gorgeous Gael Garcia Bernal in the pivotal role of Angel. Those of you who lusted after Gael in Y tu mamá también for his boyish innocence may be surprised that he looks so hot in a dress.

Oh don't worry, there's still plenty of man-on-man action. That's one of the things that I love about Spanish film: you're just as likely, if not more so, to see some scintillating male flesh as you are to get a glimpse of a naked women. Hey, nothing whets my appetite like the site of some juicy chorizo. Yum!

To describe the plot of this mesmerizing thriller would be a crime. As with many of Pedro's films, nothing is as it initially appears. Unlike your typical Hollywood fare, Pedro paints his characters in shades of gray instead of in black and white. As in real life, he populates his landscapes with people that are not completely good or totally evil. Instead, they all have the capacity within them for both. There are numerous twists and turns in this masterpiece that will keep you glued to the edge of your seat. Clearly, Pedro was inspired by the master of suspense, Alfred Hitchcock, for this bitter little shocker.

So, add this bad bitch to the top of your Netflix queue today. And, don't choke on your paella when you see the outrageous nipple/bush dress that Angel performs in!

Smooches,
Daph

Easter with the Jenkins

2006-04-21T08:28:00.000-04:00

(Pinkie, Momma Dale and Marsha taking a break from their basket inspection duties to enjoy a round of refreshing adult beverages.)

There's nothing like a religious holiday with a gaggle of drunk drag queens! Easter is always a big holiday for the Jenkins clan and I am thrilled to report that this past one was no exception. The girls were out in full force to participate in Burkhart's Annual Easter Drag Races. Unfortunately, I was here in Louisville and unable to attend the festivities this year. However, my dear sister Velma reported in with all the juicy details.

As you can see from the colorful picture above, the gals were in true form, wearing their brightest Easter pastel ensembles. I'm shocked that Marsha attempted to wear actual clothing so soon after her last seam-splitting shocker. You have to admit, though, she looked rather fetching running down church-goers atop her robin's egg blue Vespa.

Not everyone choose to sport the traditional Jenkins style for this festive event. Take for instance the pixie-like Bambi Jenkins. She broke from the pack by choosing a daring avant-garde look: an edgy cross between Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta and Dame Edna.

The big news of the day was made by my ambitious sister Pinkie. After years of hard work and perseverance, she has finally acquired an official title. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Pinkie Devine Jenkins is the official Burkhart's Egg Toss Champion of 2006! It just figures that her title would involve food.

I have to admit that I was a little saddened at not being able to join in for all the revelries. After all, last Easter was my first official Hotlanta appearance. And what a monumental day that was: having cute boys ask me to assist them in the ladies room; forgetting my butt pads on the back of the toilet; losing my wig in a drunken stupor. In the immortal words of Jerri Blank, "Good times. Good times."

And yet, I'm just tickled pink that so many of my sisters were out representing Drag-O-Rama in such fine form. Besides, there are new adventures awaiting me here in Looseville, Kentucky. This weekend, Velma is joining me for Thunder Over Louisville. It's sure to be a blast!

Smooches,
Daph

La Boy La Femme

2006-04-17T09:34:00.000-04:00

(There are some dangerously strong winds blowing through Kentucky: Mistress of Mayhem, Hurricane Summers.)

I know all my rabid readers are anxious to hear what the drag scene is like in my new home: Looseville, Kentucky. Well have no fear; the art of illusion is alive and well here in Derbyland.

This past Saturday, I decided to take in the La Boy La Femme show over at the premiere performance venue in Looseville: The Connection. If you were under the mistaken impression that Kentucky has no gay nightlife, you need to drag your sorry ass over to this gay megaplex. It’s like 5 clubs in one with a little something for every taste: a piano/neighborhood bar; a locker room complete with dirty boys getting spic and span clean in glass showers; a dick dancer bar furnished with comfy lap dance couches and a roaring fireplace; a dazzling discotheque featuring the requisite dancing platforms and cages; and finally the biggest drag showcase I’ve ever seen, decked out with an absolutely gigantic stage, Vegas-style leveled cabaret seating and a beautiful balcony from which the adoring public can catch a bird’s eye view of the establishment’s fantastic performers.

When I arrived, the emcee and Mistress of Mayhem, Hurricane Summers had just taken the stage for her raucous rendition of “Red Neck Woman”. The thing that makes her interpretation so special is that she wears a Flo from Mel’s diner waitress uniform with a giant phallus that stands up to take your order when she raises her apron. Talk about service!

Next up was the Lady Illusion, Xandra, doing one of my favorite numbers, Gwen Stefani’s “Crash” (not to be confused with the overrated, pile of sh!t, Oscar-stealing film of the same name). Out of the entire cast, she was the one who most seemed like she could be a distant Jenkins relative in her fierce red and black costume that left nothing to the imagination.

The Supermodel Asia hit the stage with one of Marsha’s signature tunes, Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You Been Gone”. There’s a reason they call this gorgeous gal a supermodel: looking statuesque and divinely thin in her black leather pants and blonde Farah flip; if she turned sideways, she’d disappear.

The Connection’s resident dancing queen, The White Lady Syimone, was up next performing “Heartbreaker”. It didn’t matter that I didn’t recognize her song. With her black & white catholic schoolgirl skirt showing off those unstoppable gams, she completely won me over.

The Body Beautiful, Mokha Montrese, was off in Chicago competing for yet another title. Filling her ample shoes and bosom was the larger than life Robin Dupree. She completely owned Aretha’s “Chain of Fools”. However, the straight bachelorette party girls next to me couldn’t get past the sight of Robin’s mammoth mammories. They insisted that I tell them the secret to her impressive endowments. I simply looked at them incredulously and asked, “If I knew the secret to gigantic watermelons, do you think I’d be sporting these little nectarines under my dress?”

After this first set, Hurricane warned that the PG segment of the show was over and that it was going to get raunchy from here on in. She wasn’t kidding. Her next number was a medley of “Who The Hell Are You?” and Sweet Pussy Pauline. I haven’t heard SPP since the time she came to the River’s Edge on a holiday weekend and entertained the masses by sodomizing a few of the regulars by the pool.

Xandra’s second song was “My Lumps” by the execrable Black Eyed Pees. I may hate the song, but she did look fierce in a gold lamey ghetto outfit. I wasn’t all that crazy about Asia’s choice of “Bootylicious” for her follow-up number either. She did a great job, but it’s hard to pull of Destiny’s Child as a solo act. Don’t get me wrong, both performers are outstanding; I just wasn’t crazy about these particular song selections.

Syimone, meanwhile, showed the crowd how to rock the mic with an energetic performance of “Crazy In Love” and “Work It Out” from a Beyonce concert. There aren't many entertainers who can invite comparisons to a powerhouse like Ms. Knowles and come out looking this fierce.

Robin Dupree closed out the set with a double-bill of Gladys Knight’s “I Heard It Through The Grapevine” and “Midnight Train to Georgia”. She had me a little teary-eyed thinking about my old Hotlanta stomping grounds as she emoted these tunes to the back of the theater.

After the show, Hurricane and Syimone hosted their recurring Full Moon party in which drunk and impressionable bar patrons were coerced into dropping trou for a cash prize. From hairy to smooth; skinny to double-wide; there was a backside for every taste on display. I think I’m really gonna love it here in Looseville.

Smooches,
Daph

Hollywood Hotties

2006-04-07T07:51:00.000-04:00

(Hollywood hunk, Josh Hartnett, taking a stab at glamming up his image.)

If you had asked me in the late 90's who the hot male actors would be to watch for in the next decade, I would have answered in order of preference: 1) Josh Hartnett; and 2) Heath Ledger. While Heath has finally realized his potential with a landmark performance in last year's Oscar-winning masterpiece, Brokeback Mountain, Josh has yet to really come into his own as the cinematic leading man that his early performances promised.

I first noticed Heath on a short-lived sword and sorcery series on Fox called Roar. It was a great guilty pleasure that deserved to be given more of a chance to find its audience. Lisa Zane was absolutely bitch-tacular as the evil Queen Diana. Every week I would tune in to watch as she attempted to get her immaculately manicured talons on the hunky hero, Conor, played by the gorgeous and youthful Heath. I think the picture on the right pretty much explains why I was hopelessly addicted to the show.

Alas, the series was cancelled after only a few short months, leaving Heath to fend for himself in Hollywood. His first big role after Roar was 10 Things I Hate About You. I've never seen this updated teen version of The Taming of the Shrew, but I understand that it has its fans and was moderately successful. Heath probably could have made a fortune after that churning out a slew of teen romantedies. However, he chose to defy expectations and explored a variety of roles.

2001 was an especially strong year for Heath when he returned to his genre roots and starred in the wildly entertaining A Knight's Tale. He balanced this more mainstream film, though, with a small and nuanced performance in the hard-hitting Monster's Ball. This was probably the first indication that this teen heartthrob actually had some acting chops.

Granted, there were a few forgettable missteps in his career following this (did anyone really buy Heath Ledger as a Catholic priest in The Order). But, the power of his performance in Brokeback is undeniable. I love Philip Seymour Hoffman and think that his Capote is brilliant. However, I would have given the Best Actor Oscar to Ledger in a heartbeat. In years to come, we will look back on Ledger's complete embodiment of Ennis Del Mar as a treasure that stands up against Brando's Stanley Kowalski.

I also first discovered Josh in genre entertainment, playing Jamie Lee Curtis's deliciously hot son in Halloween: H2O. This is probably the only Halloween sequel worth watching and part of the reason for that is Josh's terrific screen presence. He's one of the few potential teen victims in the entire series that you actually route for as they get stalked by the unstoppable Michael Meyers. It would just be such a waste of a gorgeous guy. Interestingly enough, Michelle Williams, Heath's costar in Brokeback and real life, plays Josh's girlfriend in this thriller. She, on the other hand, had the audience routing for Michael!

Following this initiation into the big leagues, Josh seemed to be on the track to stardom, appearing in another reasonably entertaining horror film, The Faculty, and then stealing every scene appearing as teen god Trip Fontaine in Sofia Coppola's ethereal The Virgin Suicides.

But then something went amiss, starting with Josh costarring with Mr. Bland himself, Ben Affleck, in the crap-tastic Pearl Harbor. More questionable role choices followed that seemed to rely more on Josh's youthful yet masculine good looks rather than actual acting ability, including Black Hawk Down and Hollywood Homicide.

The one bright spot on Josh's recent resume has been a small but quirky role in Frank Miller's visionary Sin City. Unfortunately, Josh has another generic looking action flick opening today, Lucky Number Slevin. I was initially somewhat excited by the prospect of him working with the woefully underutilized Lucy Liu. The ubiquitous television spots that all seem to feature Josh flopping around in nothing but a tiny towel didn't have anything to do with my interest in the movie. Ya, right! But then I realized that the film also starred Bruce Willis and is being released during the dumping ground season when the studios know that they have inferior product that can't compete with the big summer fare. Turns out, Rotten Tomatoes is giving Slevin a lousy 53% rating.

And yet, there is some hope on the horizon for hunky Josh. We can expect to see him this year in Brian De Palma's thriller The Black Dahlia. De Palma's last film, Femme Fatale starring Rebecca Romijn, was an underappreciated gem. Dahlia also has an amazing cast going for it including Scarlett Johansson, Hilary Swank, Aaron Eckhart and Mia Kirshner.

Will this be the break-out role that Josh needs in order to show that he's got what it takes to stand among the celluloid elite? Probably not; but it looks like a step in the right direction. From the playful pics at the top of this post, it looks like Josh may be ready to show some real range by trying his hand at a really daring role such as a transvestite or drag queen. Now that would be Oscar-worthy! However, he'll need to start taking head model Marsha's advice and put his makeup on before he gets tore-up drunk. The lip color's fabulous, but the execution is leaving much to be desired.

Smooches,
Daph

Superstarlet A.D.

2006-04-04T18:10:00.000-04:00

(Lipstick, lingerie and a huge automatic weapon; what more does the girl of the future need?)

Every once in a while a piece of celluloid comes along so delightful and depraved that it catapults itself to the status of cult classic instantaneously. The last film that did so for me was Vegas In Space. Velma and I enjoyed that drag-o-licious Barbarella-meets-Ocean's Eleven so much that we threw a wild theme party in its honor. Seems kind of fitting since the film was originally inspired by a fabulous party thrown by a bunch of wacky drag queens in San Francisco back in the '80s.

Well, I think we may have unearthed our next must-see for the Jenkins family film archives. Superstarlet A.D. is an estrogen-filled mash-up of Mad Max and Faster Pussycat Kill Kill. John Michael McCarthy's cinematic delight is set in a post apocalyptic future in which women have divided themselves into gangs based on hair color. Men have devolved into Cro-Magnons, forcing the ladies to turn to each other for love and affection. Blondes have nearly become extinct and lipstick is a treasured and rare commodity. Since there are no more gay men in this frightening future world, there's no one left to design dresses. Therefore, the women are all forced to run around in their underwear. It's like a sexy society populated with nothing but Marsha's.
The storyline revolves around Naomi, a beautiful brunette who disregards the class lines of this futuristic society by taking the blonde Rachel as her Sapphic sister. The two embark on a quest in the lost city of Femphis to find the ancestral burlesque film of Naomi's grandmother. Along the way, they come into conflict with the various competing tribes: the lethal blond Phayrays; the buxom brunette Satanas; and the fiery red Tempests.

The heads of the respective tribes are simply wonderful. The lovely leader of the Phayrays looks just like porn legend Traci Lords. The Satana's voluptuous boss has an uncanny resemblance to Carnie Wilson of Wilson Phillips fame. During hear insane songs, the Tempest's boss lady reminded me a great deal of Ana Matronic from the Scissor Sisters.

This films got it all: bawdy burlesque; manic musical numbers; s&m; blow-up dolls; lingerie; automatic weapons; jacked-up wigs; t&a; hot high heels; and more. It may not technically star drag queens, but you'll swear these girls went to Drag-O-Rama University. Add it to your personal collection today!

Smooches,
Daph

Farewell ATL

2006-03-30T08:21:00.000-05:00

(The police lineup: Sheila Watkins, Deena Daintymouth, Prissy Cilla, Daphne Ruth, Marsha, VD, Bo Lims, Velma, Momma, Pinkie & Linda)

After nearly eight years living in Hotlanta, it's finally time to move on. When Velma and I took our trailer off its blocks and headed down here from the northeast, we were planning to spend two...maybe three years in the South. However, once we sampled a little of that southern hospitality, there was no returning to the cold North for us.

Alas, time moves on and so do drunken drag queens. At the end of the week, I'll be heading to Louisville, Kentucky. Velma will be staying behind to tidy up the trailer park and will be joining me shortly thereafter.

My lovely sisters over at Drag-O-Rama threw us the most lovely Bon Voyage party last weekend at their new home, the Hen House. Linda Hand and Bo Lima Jenkins even hitchhiked down from Charlotte, North Crazyland for the event. Linda looked disco-rific in a platinum blonde Farah flip wig. Bo Lima spent an eternity in the bathroom with head model Marsha B. Jenkins and came out looking like Mini-Marsha. According to Linda, Bo is the new and improved model. That may be so but there's nothing like the classic.

Apparently, the whole Jenkins clan was out to confuse our fans; Marsha decided to dress as me for the night. Get this: she wore clothes! Instead of her usual panties, bra and fur coat ensemble, she wore a smart retro USO pantsuit. She looked ready to raise the morale of our troops alright. Velma also paid a little hommage to me by wearing my cherry red Medusa hair. However, the rest of her ensemble was pure Velma.

Meanwhile, Pinkie and Momma dressed as each other. Momma put on Pinkie's orange faerie wig and kept pointing people to the buffet. Pinkie wore Momma's Vegas In Space wig and kept losing track of the conversation.
Once the sun went down, the stream of guests was incessant. Cindy Jenkins came all the way from Valdosta flanked by her fabulous Pussy Posse. Freaktavius was there with his love slave, VD Jenkins, who looked just like a young Carole Channing. Hello Dolly! Momma did a lovely job painting VD up. As Momma explained, "It's easy working with such a small canvas. Painting her entire face is like doing one of my eyes." Alexandria Martin blew through with a tasty piece of chicken on her way to another exclusive engagement. Even Gigi Monroe stopped by to wish us luck and to show off her new boy toy. I wouldn't mind playing with that for a while!

Annabelle Larue's half-brother Omar had to keep her locked in the attic. Apparently she hadn't taken her meds that day and had to be left at home. However, he made up for it by bringing us a lovely parting gift, Flippy!

Our crazy cousins, the East Point Possums also arrived with a very thoughtful gift: jello shots. Prissy Cilla, Shenita Lott and Deena Daintymouth really know how to keep the good times rolling. Beth had a similar idea and brought along a few bottles of wine. The fine vintage went wonderfully with the spray cheese toast that Momma made in honor of the occasion. Oscar and Bryan brought along one of the best gifts of all, their well wishes and their handsome mugs.
Well, before we got the Jenkins clan evicted from their new home, we decided to move the party to Mary's in East Atlanta. Since it was karaoke night, you simply couldn't keep the Jenkins girls off the stage. Velma started out with a transformative rendition of David Bowie's "Changes". Next up was Pinkie with her raucous take on Kenny Loggins' "Footloose". I dedicated my number to Atlanta and then tore into hometown legend Gladys Knight's "I've Got To Use My Imagination". We ended the set by getting the entire clan on stage to sing our signature anthem, "We Are Family".

Naturally, there was plenty of drama backstage. Marsha was being a little mean by taunting our petite and prim cousin Sheila Watkins about her dress being a little tight. The next thing you know, Marsha literally burst out of her outfit. I'm not sure if it was karma or if her body simply rejected wearing clothing.

I'm certain there were other guests of note and that I'm forgetting a ton of important events. But, what do you want? I was tore up! Good thing there's plenty of photographic evidence of our escapades that night. Check out Omar's post as well as the Possums's photosite for all the gory action.

Extra big smooches to everyone who helped make our send-off so outrageous. I don't know how Looseville, Kentucky is every going to compare.

Smooches,
Daph

Pourin' With Prissy

2006-03-13T12:06:00.000-05:00

(Daphne Ruth fending off Prissy Cilla as she attempts to taste-test Daph's cocktail.)

When my lovely cousin, Prissy Cilla of the East Point Possums, announced recently on a Drag-O-Drama podcast that she had been named Cocktail Czar of Atlanta by Mayor Shirley Franklin, I knew that they had found the right drag queen for the job. I truly feel that with Prissy's relentless diligence our god-given right to terrorist-free cocktails will be protected (unlike our ports).

As I understand it, Prissy's duties consist mainly of consuming all open alcohol containers throughout the Atlanta region before they can be tampered with by un-American, anti-cocktail factions. Don't worry Prissy, I did my part up here in Louisville, Kentucky over the weekend. If you're thinking about setting up a committee, I hope you'll keep my impressive credentials in mind.

In the meantime, I received this riveting special bulleting from Prissy and wanted to share it with all my readers. I've added my own asides in parentheses.

LIQUOR WARNING

Of course this does not apply to me, but you may want to pass this on to other people to warn them. Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. (Sure, blame it on the alcohol, hussy!)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. (Like the time Velma "whispered" to me on a crowded Marta train to ask if I was flirting with the cute guy across from me.)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. (Aside from heterosexuality, that is.)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. (Why narrow it down to just your friends?)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. (This should be posted above the door at all karaoke bars.)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. (Okay, just be thankful the next day that you hadn't called your grandmother.)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. (Logic is highly overrated; as is any activity not requiring a little spit.)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. (What if you really are?)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. (As Visa Decline taught us, as long as they're laughing, it's a good thing.)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. (Right Marsha?)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked. (Well, other than your sh!tty attitude, of course.)

WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel DOOG (Right Momma Dale?)

Well, that was certainly enlightening, don't you think? I see great things in Atlanta's future stemming from Prissy's new position. Cheers!

Smooches,
Daph

Desperate for Drag

2006-03-04T09:13:00.000-05:00

(Artist Tray Butler's rendering of a desperate drag queen in the Atlanta area.)

I'm here with another breaking news story from The Blotter over at Hotlanta's alternative newspaper, Creative Loafing. It seems a young man attempted to steal a pair of knee-high schoolgirl socks from Junkman's Daughter in Little Five Points.

Junkman's Daughter is one of the absolute favorite shops of the Jenkins clan. They have a full array of stockings, from the aforementioned naughty schoolgirl variety to the peek-a-boo crotchless fishnets so popular with my sister Marsha. They also sell funky shoes, latex clothing and crazy corsets.

However, the jewel in the crown of this establishment is the wig collection maintained by master wig whipper, Craig. This is where the Jenkins girls find 99.99% of their unnatural colored hair. Craig is an absolute sweetheart and looks like he stepped directly out of a Tim Burton stop-motion animation film. I'm going to miss him so much when Velma and I move to Louisville.

Well, this story just tugged at my heartstrings. (Yes Pinkie, this cold bitch does have a heart!) To think, some frustrated drag queen was too embarrassed to actually purchase his fetishistic stockings (valued at $4.23).

So, let me reach out directly to the dear demented subject of this story. Honey, our Momma Dale has more drag than she knows what to do with. In fact, I know from experience that we've got a hot little catholic schoolgirl skirt that will go fabulously with those stockings you covet. Set aside that shame and come to Momma; I'm sure we can hook you up with whatever your heart desires. If I may be so bold, I even have a drag name for you: Winona Wyder.

Smooches,
Daph

She's My Sister!

2006-02-27T21:19:00.000-05:00

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins, Niki Eaves, Linda Hand Jenkins and Concretta Block enjoying a little backroom fun.)

As if our Saturday night Jenkins jamboree at DAKS Tavern was not enough, Linda Hand and I followed that up with another performance the very next evening over at The Charlotte Eagle. Linda and I were at the point of complete exhaustion. However, we remembered the immortal words of Doris Fish and assured ourselves that earth girls never miss their cues. So, we set the spackle guns to "whore" and started the excruciating process all over again.

I'm not sure if it was the stress of doing shows two nights in a row or just the smell of poppers at the venue, but Linda had a hard time keeping down the nachos we ate for dinner. I guess I should have held her hair like a good sister, but who would have taken the delightful picture on the right? It was a retro-themed show, so Linda pulled herself together and wowed the crowd with her lewd "If You Can't Cut The Mustard" routine. She even handed out condiment packets as she sashayed around the dance floor. I'm sure they came in handy given all the wiener that crowd was probably eating later in the evening.

I was totally blown away when the host, Niki Eaves, turned the place into a disco inferno with her fierce rendition of Grace Jones's "I Need A Man". To think, I was actually rehearsing that one in the care on the way up to Charlotte. I'm glad I decided against it because honey, her costume and routine were filthy gorgeous.

Instead, I chose to do Dee-Lite's "Groove Is In The Heart". Linda had a psychedelic outfit and funky red hair that were just perfect for that song (as you can see from the super hot picture on the left). Unfortunately, I did not have time for a dress rehearsal before the show. Turns out, the wig is a little loose and proceeded fly off my head just moments into my number. Well ladies, the show must go on. So, like Linda the night before, I slapped that nest of unnatural fibers back onto my cranium and continued shaking my money maker.

At the end of the show, Niki Eaves, suggested that we all perform a wild and unrehearsed "We Are Family" for the crowd. It was a total blast sharing the stage with these powerhouse performers. I do hope to run into them again soon. Niki is scheduled to visit Hotlanta in May to hand over one of her many prestigious titles. Maybe we can get her on the Drag-O-Drama podcast while she's there.

Smooches,

Daph

We Are Family

2006-02-22T20:56:00.000-05:00

(The Jenkins clan prepares to dazzle Charlotte with their demented talents. Clockwise from left: Momma Dale, Velma, Pinkie, Linda, Daph and Marsha.)

Charlotte, North Crazyland will never be the same. As you all know, our lushy sister, Linda Hand, booked us for a show at DAKS Tavern on Saturday evening. This festive little watering hole prides itself on being Charlotte’s most eccentric gay bar. In other words, we were a perfect fit.

Host Brandy Alexander opened the show with grace and style. Next up was one of their regular performers, Elvis. Yes girls, we’re talking hardcore Elvis impersonation here. I did mention “eccentric” right?

After that, the Jenkins clan took over completely. First up was Destiny’s Miscarriage, comprised of Pinkie “Beyonce” Devine, Velma “Kelly” Gwen and Daphne “Michelle” Ruth. We sweated and gyrated to an asthmatic version of “Make Me Lose My Breathe”.

After that, local gal Linda Hand took the stage with a show-stopping dance anthem, “In My Life”. I was at the bar getting a cocktail during her number (naturally) and was shocked to look over and notice that she had lost her wig. I’m certain she meant to do that. Regardless of her follicle malfunction, the crowd was visibly moved when Linda took a candle votives off one of the tables and held the flame over her head while wailing, “I’ve had enough of this in my life.” As some of you may know, the bar that she works at, Central Station, burned down a few months back and her house burned down just last week. I love her dearly, but I don’t think I’ll be letting her play with matches around my place anytime soon.

Momma Dale took the stage after that dramatic performance and scared the sh!t out of the crowd with “Hit That B!tch With A Bottle”. Interestingly, she chose to wear a pink beret without a wig. I guess this is only odd since she owns several crates full of wigs. Heck, everyone else was wearing her hair. Needless to say, Momma was absolutely fierce and would have made Lateasha from The Glamazons proud.

Marsha took over next with a rousing rendition of Kelly Clarkson’s “Gone”. With her black latex dress and cotton candy pink hair, she looked like a finalist for “Vegas In Space Idol”. This is actually a song I’ve been rehearsing myself. However, Marsha got to it first though, having premiered it at The River’s Edge recently. Maybe I can convince her to turn it into a duet with me.

Pinkie returned to the stage with a passionate mix of “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. I loved the fact that she combined the old Bonnie Tyler original with a dance remake. That was the first single I ever bought back when I was a wee lass.

Velma showed her originality by taking on Bjork’s “It’s Oh So Quiet” wearing a swan dress and dark queen hair. She was a deranged delight in her debut performance. Now that she’s been bitten by the performing bug, I expect lots of innovative and exciting work from her in the future.

In honor of the Daytona 5000, I treated the crowd to my racy version of Gwen Stefani’s “Crash”. I also used this opportunity to premiere a brand new electric blue wig. I enjoy doing that number so much; I think it’s destined to become one of my staples. It's a great excuse to get out in the crowd and "ride" a few of the hotties.

Linda was up once more to beg for tips…I mean entertain the crowd...with Fantasia’s “I Believe”. I believe she kept her wig on this time as she brought the house down with this inspirational tour de force.

We concluded the show with the chaotic group number, “We Are Family”. The entire clan wore that Jenkins trademark, roller disco hair. Toward the end of the song, we all started switching wigs. I even threw some hair on an audience member. Well, he was bald after all!

The show was a complete blast to put on and seemed to go over really well with the crowd. We were thronged by the masses backstage and over at Chasers where we went to relax after the show. In the photo to the left, you can see Pinkie chatting up one of our BIGGEST fans.

Next time, I’ll tell you all about the show Linda and I did Sunday night over at the Charlotte Eagle. The rest of the family had to head back to Hotlanta, so it was up to Linda and me to carry on the Jenkins tradition. Stop back to hear all the naughty details.

Smooches,
Daph

Destination: Charlotte, North Crazyland

2006-02-16T21:33:00.000-05:00

(Lushey Linda Hand Jenkins being chauffeured to her latest appearance.)

This weekend, the Jenkins clan is packing up the airstream and heading on a road trip. That's right ladies; we're descending upon Charlotte, North Crazyland and showing them sissies what "real" divas are made of. Our lovely sister, Linda Hand Jenkins has landed us a couple of gigs up in Hotlanta's sister city to strut our stuff and to spread glitter among the fabulous-impaired.

Pinkie, Peggy, Velma and I will arrive on Friday to get the city all riled up for our North Crazyland premiere. We don't have any commitments that night, so we're sure to be on a huuunnnnt for some out-0f-town frolics.

Marsha and Momma Dale will be arriving on Saturday, just in time for our exclusive engagement at DAKS Tavern. We're all planning to do numbers (both solo and group) at this fine drinking establishment. It's gonna be a Jenkins jamboree.

When - Saturday, February 18 at 11:30 pm
Where - DAKS Tavern
Who - Brandy Alexander and the Jenkins clan of Drag-O-Rama

After that, Linda Hand has promised to bring us around to another classy local joint by the name of Chasers. Apparently, this quaint watering hole specializes in male exotic dancers. I get the feeling all of my sisters will be handing over all their hard-earned tips to the d!ck dancers before the end of the night.

Most of my siblings have to run off after Sunday brunch. However, I will be hanging around to do a show with Linda over at the Charlotte Eagle. You know how I love me some leather drag!

When - Sunday, February 19 at 9:00 pm
Where - The Charlotte Eagle
Who - The Niki Eaves Retro 70s Show with special guests Linda Hand and Daphne Ruth Jenkins

Talk about an action-packed weekend! Velma and I have just filled the Pussy Wagon full of unnatural colored hair and gorgeous get-ups. I hope we packed enough. If not, maybe we can do a little shopping with Linda when we arrive. Take me to the nearest Good Will!

Smooches,
Daph

Happy VD

2006-02-14T17:58:00.000-05:00

(Lovebirds Velma Gwen and Daphne Ruth getting their groove on.)

Hello all you lovers and fornicators out there. I just wanted to wish each and every one of you lots of VD excitement today. Stop reaching for the penicillin; I’m talking about Valentine’s Day, of course. Cupid’s holiday is a little bittersweet for me this year, as I’m in Louisville, Kentucky and separated from my true love, Velma Gwen Jenkins.

That’s right ladies, I’m a lesbian! Naturally, I'm the lipstick-wearing, drag queen variety of lesbian. Please, I don't even own any power tools!

Of course, we’re not the only lesbian drag queens around. Let's not forget about Gusty Winds and Rose Petal over at My Favorite Drag Queen. Maybe we can all get together and start a women’s music drag festival

Velma and I met over ten years ago when she responded to my personal ad in which I stated that I was looking for someone sane but slightly demented. The title of the ad was “Wild at Heart”. Well, a decade later I’m still wondering if she missed the part about being slightly demented. However, I can’t deny that I grow wilder about her each year that we’re together.

No one inspires me or pushes me to be the woman that I am today the way that Velma does. I hope you all find your own muse with whom you can share all your happiness and accomplishments. If not, at least settle for a fine piece of @ss with whom you can get your rocks off.

Smooches,
Daph

DWD #2: On Thin Ice

2006-02-10T16:41:00.000-05:00

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins and Nancy Kerrigan moments before Daph's Olympic dreams are crushed by outrageous allegations that she attempted to mar Kerrigan's performance by covering the ice with spray cheese.)

TAPED: Tuesday, January 24, 2006
LENGTH: 40 minutes
HOSTS: Pinkie, Velma and Daphne
SYNOPSIS: The gals dish about Pinkie's favorite sport, figure skating.

Disclaimer: Due to technical difficulties, this episode was taped several weeks ago and never posted. However, much of the conversation revolves around figure skating and the Winter Olympics which are currently underway. Enjoy!

U.S. Nationals recap: Weir's wonderful; controversy over Kwan.

Why we love figure skating and hate Skating With Celebrities.

NFL: recap of the playoffs; drag queen picks for the Superbowl.

Closing: Pinkie apologizes in advance for drunken rude behavior during her upcoming birthday festivities.

Smooches,
Daph

Red Chair Debut

2006-02-07T22:33:00.000-05:00

(Daphne Ruth Jenkins "Crash"ing onto the scene at The Red Chair.)

Oh girls, I know you’ve been dying to hear all about my pulse pounding performance with The Glamazons over at The Red Chair last weekend. You’ll have to forgive me for the delay in posting that scintillating story. Naturally, it took me all Saturday to recover from the experience. Then, Sunday was taken up with recording our latest podcast over at Drag-O-Drama. You really must go listen. It’s simply fistacular! After that, Velma and I watched the Super Bowl. For once we were cheering on opposing teams and mine won. Go Steelers! I love Polamalu and his roller disco hair. Then, I needed to fly out to Louisville on Monday morning for a gig. Okay, it was really for my day job, but it sounds more exciting when I call it a gig. Well, the so-called wintry conditions caused my first flight to be cancelled and my second one to be delayed several hours: airport hell.

Okay, enough excuses and onto the blow-by-blow. First of all, I was totally gassed by everyone that showed up for my performance. My long-lost sister, Cindy, was there with her pussy posse. She hangs with a gaggle of real girls who we’ve dressed up in drag on previous occasions. They are so sweet and fun. That big stud Oscar was there to calm my nerves and to escort me both before and after the show. What a gentleman! Even Omar showed up with a bevy of boys in tow. I guess his half-sister AnnaBelle Larue Jenkins was not quite ready to make another appearance. And, of course there were a whole slew of the usual suspects there to cheer me on: Candy, Velma, Pinkie, Momma Dale, Bambi and Marsha. If I’ve forgotten anyone, please forgive me: you know how much I drink!

The performance itself was a total blast. I did Gwen Stefani’s “Crash” which is all about getting lit while you wait for your man to drive over and give you some “grand prix attention”. Honey, I gave both Marsha and Pinkie lap dances during my number. I honestly had a lot of fun and will definitely add this song to my regular repertoire.

Due to a family emergency, the catty Chynna Fox was not able to emcee the show. (I hear that things are looking up though.) Luckily, Alexandria was able to fill in for the night. When she went to introduce me for my second number, they started playing Lateasha’s song. Gurl, I was dressed in psychedelic oranges and pinks, with butterflies in my hair. There was no way that I was gonna get out there and sing, “hit that b!tch with a bottle”! Thankfully, I was eventually able to coerce Lateasha onto the stage in my place. Sure, I didn’t get to do my second set, but the crowd adored that bad ass mama.

The management at The Red Chair seems to think that the boys who show up at 11:00 pm only want to see videos, not drag queens. As a result, the girls didn’t have time to do all their numbers. Well, I beg to differ. I was barraged by men at the bar asking what my next song would be. When I explained that there wouldn’t be one due to time constraints, their hearts and hopes were crushed. As you can see by the picture on the right, I had to give a few of my friskier fans a special performance to make up for the disappointment. So, if you want to see a complete Glamazons show, I suggest you contact the management at the Red Chair and demand it.

So, what’s next for Daphne? Well, my lovely sister Linda Hand has just booked the Jenkins clan for a special performance in Charlotte, North Crazyland on February 18 at Daks Tavern. Stop back for more details.

Smooches,
Daph

Red Chair Riot

2006-02-02T11:27:00.000-05:00

My regular readers know that I am a huge fan of The Glamazons. The Jenkins clan recently attended their Red Chair premiere and it was an absolute blast. Well, when I received a phone call from their fabulous leader, Ziggy, offering me a spot in this week's show, I naturally leapt at the chance. Just think: I'll be their "special guest star" just like Heather Locklear on Melrose Place.

Besides, we're talking about an amazingly talented and diverse group of performers who are always willing to lend a gal a helping (not to mention immaculately manicured) hand despite their megastar status. Also, The Red Chair is an ideal location for a Friday night cabaret show: no cover; ample free parking; smoke-free environment; and early show time. That leaves you plenty of dough to purchase loads of refreshing adult beverages and to tip the divas. So, head on out this Friday and pray that I don't get hit by a Marta bus on my way to the gig this time:

When - Friday, February 3 at 9:30 pm
Where - The Red Chair
Who - The Glamazons with special guest star, Daphne Ruth Jenkins

It's sure to be a deliciously naughty time with the Jenkins clan on hand. Watch your wallets and your boyfriends!

Smooches,
Daph

A Jenkins Is Born

2006-01-31T13:24:00.000-05:00

(Clockwise from top left: Marsha, Velma, Daph, AnnaBelle, Yolanda and Pinkie in the studio.)

Sorry darlings, I know that it’s been a while since I posted. However, this past weekend was a landmark in Jenkins history and has taken us all several days to recover from. For one thing, it was the birthdays of both Pinkie D. Jenkins and Velma G. Jenkins. As if that wasn’t reason enough to party like rock stars, we also witnessed the birth of a brand new Jenkins sibling, AnnaBelle Larue Jenkins.

Yes ladies, Omar from The Other O podcast finally submitted to an extreme drag makeover at the hands of the Jenkins clan. Lord knows, she already had the personality of a catty drag queen. Well, after we were done with her, she also had the unmistakable style and sass of one as well. Complete with face by Alexandria Martin, a dress picked out by Mookie, and the signature blonde roller disco wig, she was a Chicana to be reckoned with.

After recording a boozy podcast, we all headed over to our first stop of the evening, The Oscar’s. In the parking lot, an ambulance came screeching over to us. At first I feared that they might think we were escapees from a local mental institute. However, they (like the rest of the populace) simply wanted to snap a few pics of our undeniable fabulousness.

Our presence inside the bar was a blaring signal for the party to start. AnnaBelle is a popular gal and had lots of pals to harass and molest. We all took turns taking photos beneath the glory hole art. I kid you not; they have a framed glory hole on the wall.

Eventually, we fled the suffocating cigarette smoke at Oscar’s headed over to Burkhart’s. This was definitely a good move because the boys there were wild and randy. I honestly lost track of how much I had to drink as the hotties bought me round after round. At one point in the evening, Annabelle had one trashy stud pulling his junk out for our inspection. Next, I looked over to witness a man with his head underneath Velma’s skirt. How unladylike! These girls have obviously been taking lessons from Pinkie.

Mary Edith Pitts and Kitty LeClaw were hosting the Saturday Showcase drag show with such superstars as Jade Daniels and Chili. Naturally, Kitty had to bring attention to the herd of gorgeous Jenkins sisters in the audience. When asked where we bought our fashions, Annabelle screeched in classic Jenkins style, “Goodwill!”

Not one to let the revelry end, Pinkie insisted that we continue on to another bar once Burkhart’s started to die down. Marsha led us all to a destination I had never been to, the infamous Phoenix. This seedy little hovel is the reputed hangout of choice for hustlers and drug addicts. Therefore, it’s no surprise that the Jenkins clan was welcomed with open arms. Here I am boning up on my billiard skills.

One would think that after that wild night out, we’d be laying low for a little while. But oh no! I’ll be making a very special appearance this Friday that’s sure to be a total blast. Stop by later this week for all the details on this surprise gig.

Smooches,
Daph

Phoenix From The Flame

2006-01-22T19:01:00.000-05:00

(Momma Dale, Candy, Omar, Alexandria, Dannyboy, DJ and Peggy feel the excitement of The Glamazons' premiere at The Red Chair.)

The Glamazons have arisen from the ashes of The Armory to take their rightful place in the Atlanta drag scene as the Friday night showcase at The Red Chair in Midtown. The Jenkins clan was on the scene to wish Ziggy and her troupe loads of luck in their new digs. As an added treat, that Latino hunk, Omar, of The Other O podcast joined us for the show with two of his frisky friends, James and Micah.

Needless to say, the crowd was not disappointed as the entire cast opened the show and slayed them dead with their homicidal "Cell Block Tango" routine. Everyone was hiding the sharp objects as these murderous mavens announced to the Atlanta queens that they are here to stay.

The first gal to have a solo number was their illustrious leader, Ziggy Stardust. Ziggy came out in a shimmering white gown and sashayed around the audience to one of her signature down-home blues numbers.

Isabella Diamante hypnotized the crowd next with her exotic fan dance. Like a scene out of "Crouching Drag Queen, Hidden Candy" she exemplified poise and beauty.

Next up, Lateasha Shante-Shuntel held up the joint with her spirited rendition of "What's Going On". Candy Jenkins was green with envy over Lateasha's diamond studded glock chocker.

Speaking of envy, Miss Envy Van-Michaels rocked the crowd next with her booty shakin' and fierce attitude.

Emcee Chynna Fox then proceeded to bring the house down with her spot-on Madonna impersonation for "Hung Up". The Jenkins clan cackled with glee when Chynna spread her legs and a dollar bill slowly wafted down from her crotch. Where exactly were the audience members trying to tip her? As she said after someone came up and dry humped her at the end of the song, "Honey, that costs more than a dollar. You need to get out the plastic for that."

All in all, it was an unforgettable premiere for a great group of gals. It was wonderful to see The Glamazons finally receiving the adoration and acclaim that they deserve. So, be sure to check them out every Friday night at 9:30 pm at The Red Chair.

By the way, I ran across another legendary performer Saturday night over at Mary's in East Atlanta for their karaoke night. The queen of diamonds, Diamond Lil, was on hand to perform a few numbers for her rabid fans. She delivered a sultry "Rock Me Like A Man" and then proceeded to hit on DJ. That DJ's such a drag magnet.

Next weekend promises to be another blowout as we celebrate Pinkie's centennial and subject Omar to his extreme drag makeover. Let's hope Omar doesn't steal too much thunder from Pinkie or she might cut him so that no one will wanna f#%k him.

Smooches,
Daph

The Show Must Go On

2006-01-18T19:01:00.000-05:00

(The legendary leader of the Glamazons, Ziggy Stardust, blinding Daphne Ruth Jenkins with her dazzling star power.)

I know it seems like just a few short weeks ago that I reported on the final weekend of The Glamazons at The Armory. Well, that's because it was literally two weeks ago. Apparently, these lovely ladies work quickly, though, because they have already secured a new home for their world-class cabaret act.

Starting this Friday, January 20 at 9:30 pm, you'll be able to catch Ziggy Stardust, Chynna Fox and the rest of those delicious divas over at The Red Chair in Midtown Atlanta. I've gotta say, I sort of prefer the earlier show time. This queen ain't getting any younger and the sooner I can start partying, the sooner I can head home for some much-needed beauty rest.

So, start the weekend off right by joining DJ and I as we cheer on the Red Chair premiere of the gorgeous Glamazons:

When - Friday, January 20 at 9:30 pm
Where - The Red Chair
Who - The Glamazons

It's sure to be the entertainment event of the season. If you get there early, save me a seat at the bar. If you get there late, kindly pick me up off the floor.

Smooches,
Daph

All Juiced Up

2006-01-16T17:27:00.000-05:00

(It takes lots of vitamins and antioxidants to build strong draq queen bones and muscles.)

Many of my ardent fans have asked how I retain my vibrant youth and beauty despite the hectic schedule and ceaseless demands on the life of a drag superstar. Well, a gal's gotta retain some mystery. However, I will let my faithful readers in on one little secret: fresh juice. Ladies, when I joke that I'm going on a liquid diet, I'm only half kidding. Nothing keeps a gal bright-eyed and glowing from within like a shot of fresh beet juice in the morning. I kid you not. Besides, it's as easy as mixing a stiff cocktail.

Of course, it helps to have a good juicer. I highly recommend Jack LaLanne's Power Juicer. It's reasonably priced and available at your local Target (pronounced Tar-gay). Gusty Winds and Rose Petal over at My Favorite Drag Queen own one and I can tell you that it is a superior product.

Next up, you need high-quality, fresh fruits and vegetables. I prefer mine organic. The flavor can't be beat and you don't have to worry about those pesky pesticides and antibiotics. Granted, antibiotics come in handy in a pinch (just ask my sister, Pinkie). However, you don't want them in your produce, thereby building up an immunity to their medicinal effects. Luckily, we have a fantastic Farmer's Market here in Hotlanta where we take care of all our produce needs.

So for the uninitiated, here's a fabulous recipe that I call "Sweet Jenkins Juice". It's great on it's own or can be spiced up with a shot of vitamin V: vodka!

Ingredients:

2 handfuls raspberries
2 handfuls cranberries (just great for the urinary tract!)
1 apple
1/2 stalk lemongrass (trimmed and chopped)
6fl oz. mineral water (still or sparkling, but I prefer San Pellegrino)

Cut the apple into pieces and use it to push the raspberries, cranberries and lemongrass through the juicer tube. This helps to get the most flavor for your brew. Then, pour the mineral water in with your fresh juice. Mix with vodka or enjoy all on its own. Just dee-lish-us!

If you have any great fruit or vegetable juices that you swear by, please let me know. I try to constantly switch things up depending on the season and what's available. Variety is the spice of life; that goes for produce as well as men.

Smooches,
Daph

Tasty Thai Treats

2006-01-14T13:30:00.000-05:00

(One of the tantalizing Thai performers from the lovely Lady-boys.)

That Velma's such a globetrotting gal! During one of her recent jaunts in the Far East, she stumbled across the latest sensation sweeping the tourism trade in Hong Kong: the Lady-boys. They're a talented troupe of transsexual Thai performers that are pulling in more business than Disneyland Hong Kong. And no wonder; who wouldn't prefer a ride on Glam Mountain any day?

Check out the CNN video of these gorgeous gals to get an idea of the excitement and drama involved. Certainly, the elaborate costumes and productions numbers are a large part of the reason that they're able to fill their 800-seat venue 5 times a day. Talk about a grueling schedule; I bet even Gigi Monroe would have a hard time keeping up with these womanly work-a-holics. However, as the photo to the right attests, several of the ladies employ the Jenkins family secrets: glitter and unnatural colored hair.

I'm sure Charlie Brown wouldn't mind that kind of business. Maybe she can book them at her Cabaret for their next step in world domination.

Smooches,
Daph

DWD #1: Pigskin Party

2006-01-09T17:07:00.000-05:00

(A scene from the scandalous, never-aired ad for Monday Night Football featuring Daphne Ruth Jenkins.)

TAPED: Sunday, January 8, 2006
LENGTH: 20 minutes and 35 seconds
HOSTS: Velma and Daphne
SYNOPSIS: Daphne and Velma discuss the first round of NFL playoffs and explain why they love the NFL.

Greetings and welcome to the inaugural Dishin' With Daphne podcast, Pigskin Party. Velma and I have been having such a blast recording shows with our wacky Jenkins clan over at Drag-O-Drama that we decided to create our very own spin-off. Hopefully, we'll be more like The Jeffersons from All In The Family, or Frasier from Cheers; rather than Joey from Friends.

Our very first episode will delve into the wonderful world of the NFL. I know, some of you are questioning what a couple of deranged drag queens are doing talking about football: well you just listen and see. This past weekend was the start of playoffs and we have the scoop on all the games.

Distant Jenkins relative, Clinton Portis, and The Washington Redskins defeat the Tampa Bay Buccanneers 17-10.

That tasty trio from the New England Patriots (Tom Brady, Tedy Bruschi and Adam Vinatieri) defeat the Jacksonville Jaguars 28-3.

Sweet cheeked quarterback Jake Delhomme's Carolina Panthers deliver an ass-whooping to the New York Giants with a 23-0 victory.

Garishly costumed Cincinnati Bengals are trampled by the orc-like Pittsburgh Steelers with Troy Polamalu and his roller disco hair, 17-31.

Shout outs: Woofs, Linda Hand Jenkins, Pinkie D. Jenkins, Momma Dale, Gusty Winds and Rose Petal of My Favorite Drag Queen.

I hope you enjoy our first Dishin' With Daphne podcast as much as we enjoyed making it. Be sure to stop by for more wild and wacky topics and guests.

Smooches,
Daph

Frap Me!

2006-01-07T21:13:00.000-05:00

("But Linda, it's true: that skirt doesn't make your ass look fat; your fat ass makes your ass look fat!")

Frap me, baby! Frap me all night long! I resisted as long as I could. However, my dear sister, Pinkie chastised me during last night's podcast for not having my own Frappr map. I'm sure she only wants me to get one so that she can gloat that she has more "friends" on her map than I do.

(Drag queens gone wild! My shy and demure sister Pinkie D. Jenkins)
So, bop on over to my map and let me know where you live. That way, when I wind up homeless and destitute, I have some options about what part of the country to crash in.

On a side note, I've added a few new websites to my list of links. First up is the glamtastic Gigi Monroe's website. Be sure to peruse the videos for some truly mind-blowing performances. Check out that fabulous crimson gown she wears in the "Alone" video. It's actually a wedding dress that she bought from Momma Dale and Gigi-fied. Gorgeous and talented: it's a good thing that she's so nice or I'd have to hate that bitch!

For a change of pace, check out Film Stock, a new blog from one of my biggest fans. There's a quirky combination of revealing film reviews and delectable vegetarian recipes. Don't worry Pinkie, where the recipes call for tofu, just substitute with baby back ribs.

Smooches,
Daph

Goodbye To The Glamazons

2006-01-04T11:21:00.000-05:00

("Don't I look thin under this huge sign?" Daphne Ruth Jenkins in front of Atlanta institution, The Armory.)

Alas, the rumors are true. That Atlanta institution, The Armory, has closed its doors for the final time. The building has been sold and is sure to be replaced by another cheaply constructed condominium complex or office tower. Midtown needs more condos like I need another drink!

Momma Dale, Peggy, Pinkie and I insisted on making a final trip to The Armory to see The Glamazons during their final weekend of residency there. It was a bittersweet affair as we marveled at the spellbinding skills of these talented temptresses.

I was a little nervous about showing my beautiful face there after having missed my last gig with The Amazons on Halloween weekend due to that unscheduled visit with the grim reaper. However, all trepidation was cast aside as I entered the club and was greeted with open arms by Pierre, the hottie behind the scenes.

I was most nervous about seeing Ziggy, the leading lady of The Glamazons. However, she jumped up and down with excitement when she saw me slung up at the bar. That performing legend took the time to sit down and to give me some words of encouragement. What a lady! She also assured me that the closing of The Armory is only a temporary setback and that the show will go on. I can't wait to see what they do next!

It was also great to see my old pal, Gigi Monroe, slaying 'em as always. She came out in a giant white dove costume and totally nailed a "When Doves Cry"/"Edge of Seventeen" medley. I definitely peed a little to see her channeling Stevie Nicks on stage.

Momma Dale and I had a blast running through the rest of the club where they were celebrating a goth/s&m theme party. It was a trip having cuties dressed in latex and leather looking at me like I was a freak. One darling deviant marched up to me and squealed, "You look like you're from outer space!" You better believe it darling; I'm from the planet of Uranus.

So, until the Glamazons find a new home, a special thanks from the bottom of my pickled heart to:

Cartier - for your beauty and captivating smile
Isabella - for keeping me from falling apart backstage
Envy - for your fierce sexuality
Lateasha - for your indomitable strength
Gigi - for your amazing work ethic
Chynna - for your biting wit
Ziggy - for always being true to yourself

We'll miss you ladies and can't wait for you to find a new home for your show. Momma Dale made Chynna and Ziggy promise to come to the trailer as special guests on Drag-O-Drama. Hopefully, they can give us an exclusive scoop on their plans.

Smooches,
Daph

("But I'm on the guest list, motherf#cker!" Daphne Ruth Jenkins trying to get back into the now closed Armory.)

Ho, Ho, Ho!

2005-12-30T10:41:00.000-05:00

(Presenting Daphne Ruth Jenkins in her very own holiday specialmercial!)

Ya just gotta love the holidays with family. DJ and I spent this past Chrismukkah with our dear, demented kin, The Jenkins Clan. It was the usual mania over at Momma Dale's as the whole crew joined together to enjoy the festivities. Unfortunately, Pinkie Jenkins was out of town enjoying a little R&R. For once, there was enough food for everyone!

Momma Dale and Marsha spent all Christmas Eve on a Desperate Housewives, First Season marathon. There's nothing like backstabbing, pill popping, adulterous, and stunningly gorgeous gals to make you really appreciate the true meaning of the holidays.

After gorging ourselves on our Christmas lasagna, we gathered around the tree and opened gifts. Marsha loved her "Now Available in Sober" t-shirt. Peggy Sue received some flawless MAC nail polish that I simply had to try out that evening. Heava Beaver and Zach gave DJ an S&M novel called "Spanking The Maid". How appropriate! In keeping with the holiday theme, I got a Desperate Housewives "Dirty Laundry" board game.

That evening, we headed out to the Stage Door for the Stage Door Divas show. Marsha was unable to join us for the evening festivities as she needed to head home and pack for her trip to sunny Florida with Mookie, Heava and Zach. However, we were joined at the last minute by VD and Freak. Upon entering the club, everyone mistook me for my sister Marsha. It's so hard to tell us gals apart with that distinctive Jenkins family resemblance.

Since I was on holiday, I didn't take careful notes of all the performers and the numbers. For me though, the highlight of the night was the special guest performer who had an uncanny resemblance to Amy Sedaris of Strangers With Candy. This gal must have taught Heather Daniels how to make the most out of some dental floss, a few feathers and a handful of sequins.

Poor Lynx received the nickname of Brawny for the night. As it turns out, she forgot her boobies at home and had to construct her rack out of paper towels. Trust me: don't try this at home! However, it was great seeing my fellow competitor from the Miss Corn Cobb County Pageant, Glad Ass, tearing it up on stage.

Next up, we're going to try to make it over to The Armory this evening for the final weekend of The Glamazons. Sad but true, The Armory is closing on New Year's Eve. The entire Jenkins clan sends their best wishes to the entire cast and crew of The Glamazons.

Smooches,

Daphne Ruth Jenkins

Happy Birthday To Me

2005-12-23T21:09:00.000-05:00

(Daph and Momma Dale partying it up!)

Hey ladies! Believe it or not, I turn another year older today. I know it appears that I just keep getting younger. However, that's just my strict regimen of binge-and-purge!

We have a full agenda for the day. First up was sleeping until noon. A girl's gotta get her diva rest.

Next up is bloody mary's and homemade blueberry pancakes. My sister Velma is a whiz in the kitchen. It must be all those French chefs she studied under...literally.

After that we plan to enjoy an afternoon of shopping. I'm going to treat myself to an ipod. That way during my work commute, I can listen to all these great podcasts that are just a-poppin' up all over the internet. Speaking of speaking of fabulous podcasts, check out the new Drag-O-Drama site for the latest shows. My scintillating interview with Alexandria Martin is up. There's also a more recent show where Momma Dale, Pinkie and Marsha give tips on how to party like drag queens. It's an absolute scream!

After our shopping spree, we'll be starting the beauty portion of the day. First stop will be Dragon Nails for mani/pedi's. After that, we're heading over to Ulta to get new birthday do's from Momma Dale. I wonder if we can squeeze a facial in there somewhere. Sure, there's always time to stop by a rest area on the way back into town.

This evening, Velma and I have reservations at Woodfire Grille, a fabulous restaurant on Cheshire Bridge. It's my b-day, so I'm going to make an absolute Pinkie...I mean pig of myself. After we finish up at the feeding trough, who knows? There are so many options: Charlie Brown's, The Armory, Swinging Richard's. We'll just have to wait and see where my libido leads us.

Good thing my birthday is on a Friday this year. That way, I can sleep in until Christmas.

Smooches,
Daph