Dishin' With Daphne

A place for the international performing sensation Daphne Ruth Jenkins to spew her earth-shattering revelations regarding life, love, family and fame.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Trollop Hoppin'

(Dannyboy and one of the beautiful blushing brides at the June Trolley Hop.)

Hey poodles! I know that you're all just salivating to find out what I've been up to the past two weeks. Well naturally, I've been busy rehearsing a brand new number for my big homecoming performance at the East Point Possums P.A.L.S. benefit show next weekend.

However, I've also reached a very important milestone here in my new home of Looseville, Kentucky. Yes ladies, I've made my very first enemy. I'm sure you're all wondering how a giving, caring and all around sweet gal like me could ever develop a nemesis. I have a simple one word answer for you: jealousy. The poor wretch in question, Randie Wrottedhoe, simply couldn't stand all the attention I was receiving here on her turf.


It seems like I can't go out for a cocktail these days without that venomous slag shamelessly throwing herself at one of my many suitors. Naturally, they've all rebuffed her. Honey, when you can dine on filet mignon, why would you settle for mad cow?

My dear sister, Linda Hand Jenkins, offered to hitch her ass up here to help me deal with this toxic trollop. I sincerely doubt that will be necessary, though; I foresee a nasty plummet from a very steep cliff in Randie's immediate future.

Despite all this drama, I have managed to get out and enjoy some of the festive goings on around town. Just last weekend I attended a lovely local monthly event: the 1st Friday Trolley Hop. A number of downtown Looseville art galleries along the Market Street trolley system have joined together to have openings on the first Friday of each month. It's a great opportunity to mingle with the masses and to take in some of the awe-inspiring art that's being produced around the Looseville area. Plus, most of the galleries provide free wine and snacks. How delightful!

June's Trolley Hop had the added attraction of being the host of Draggin' For Dollars. This annual community event features drag queens descending upon the Hop in order to raise donations for local HIV/AIDS charities as well as for VOICES of Kentuckiana, the region's only all-inclusive choir.

The June Bride theme of this year's Draggin' For Dollars brought out a plethora of masterpieces as you can see from the pics. That's Dannyboy and Kevin (Peppa Roni's hunky houseboy) with a big, bold and beautiful fundraiser who looks like she'd fit right in with the Jenkins clan. Can't you just picture her and Pinkie wrestling over the last slice of pizza? Clearly, there was some art on the streets that night to rival what was being exhibited in the galleries. Who said there'd be no culture in Kentucky?

Well, the big Possums show is less than a week away, so I'd better get back to work on my big production. Oh, and be sure to warn me if you spot Randie sneaking up behind me with any sharp objects.

Smooches,
Daph